What do you guys think of people who marry for money?

[converted_democrat]

One of my girlfriends announced that she is marrying this guy that is loaded.. I have to admit I'm already looking at her differently now.. She is a pretty girl, and the guy she's getting married to is a total blob that would've never had a shot with her under normal circumstances.. Is it wrong that I think a little less of her?

[Kid OfThe Black Hole]

1. Darn it!

I've seen your picture thread and I can definitely say you're out of my league. And now you've dashed my hope of one day striking it rich and winning your heart :(

Seriously if she is doing it ONLY for the money then fuck her. If she actually sees something in the slob...eh, what the fuck do I know :shrug:

[Wapsie B]

2. Well at least she's honest about it.

Yeah ideally she should be marrying for true love. But the cynic in me says that's a rare occurrence. There seems to be ulterior motives to everything.

[GOPisEvil]

3. I feel bad for both of them.

I feel bad for him because he's being used, and I feel bad for her because her self-esteem is determined my material things.

[liontamer]

30. how do you know either of those things?

If she's saying she's marrying him for money, then he probably knows and thinks she's worth having. and who says her self-esteem is determined by material things? she likes money, but money buys a lot of comfort, what does that have to do with her self esteem.

[zanne]

40. Wow. You had to reach pretty far for that one.

What does it have to do with her self-esteem? What's the difference between selling yourself for the night or for a lifetime?

[Tallison]

51. Damn. Great distinction.

You might be on to something. I'll chew on it.

[liontamer]

53. i don't have a problem with sex workers either

just because most of us choose to live our life one way, doesn't mean that somebody who lives a different way has no self esteem. She priortizes money a little differntly than you or I do, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have self esteem.

[GOPisEvil]

45. I'm making assumptions based on the original post.

It seems like he either doesn't know, or is suppressing the knowledge - either one isn't healthy. Money CAN buy comfort, but if salary is the first thing you mention about the person you're going to marry, you're not in love.

[liontamer]

54. i don't think she's in love either

but if she's choosing to marry for money, that's her choice. in a different time or place, a beautiful intelligent woman who chose to marry for love instead of money would have been insulted by the community busybodies in just the same way.

[LeftyMom]

4. If her primary motivation is the money

it's prostitution. :shrug: If she really likes him and the comfortable lifestyle he can offer is just another part of the package, that's not so bad.

Edit: I feel bad for her too. If she shackles herself to some guy she doesn't love just to get his cash, she's missing out on the opportunity to find somebody she does love (who could also be loaded for all she knows. With the right guy it wouldn't matter, though.)

[philosophie_en_rose]

5. What do you think of men that only marry for looks? (aka sex)?

:shrug:

I don't personally like it, but it's not my concern if the people are up front about it.

[smirkymonkey]

17. Usually the men who marry for looks (sex) and the women who

marry for money end up finding each other. And they deserve each other.

When someone asked Donald Trump's latest wife if she would be marrying him if he wasn't rich, she retorted "Would he be marrying me if I wasn't beautiful?"

[mykpart]

31. A man being rich is like a girl bring pretty.

You wouldn't marry a girl just because she's pretty, but doesn't it help? (With apologies to the writers of "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.")

[Deja Q]

6. Think less of her. Of course, you don't need to...

Once the economy breaks, she'll be in the same boat...

[AirmensMom]

7. Only because it might prove that she's shallow ...

but maybe there's a chance that she's in love with him and it's an added bonus that he's loaded? :shrug:

One of my sisters married for money. It ain't a pretty picture.

[converted_democrat]

8. They are polar opposites in every sense of the term..

The only thing they have in common is the love of money.. Right now they only see each other once a week and they don't get along all that hot.. I just can't imagine what it's going to be like when they actually live under the same roof..

[AirmensMom]

11. Maybe they'll do what my sister and her husband do.

They travel for work, in opposite directions. I feel sorry for people like that. Marrying someone you truly love is a wonderful way of life, rich or poor! (OK, so I don't know about the rich part ... but I do know about the love part.)

[Gatchaman]

9. I'm a total blob

and when I strike it big, it's trophy wife time!

Seriously, why can't people marry for petty reasons like financial security? I see lots of people marrying total losers just because they look good, talk a good game, etc.

[converted_democrat]

12. I guess as a girl that made my own money it just makes me respect her

less..

[Radical Activist]

10. What an evil asshole.

I hope I never end up with someone like that. That's all I can think about it.
I hope the guy is only marrying her for her looks. At least then they'll be a good shallow match. Maybe they'll learn what real love is down the road if they're lucky.

[Generic Brad]

13. My Wife Married Me For My Money

But it's not as bad as it sounds. I only had thirty dollars to my name when we met.

[Bunny]

14. Well, as the wise Dr. Phil says:

When you marry for money, you earn every penny of it.


Trite, but true.

[Tallison]

52. Dr. Phil normally doesn't do it for me, but that's a great expression n/t

[terrya]

15. Three words: Anna Nicole Smith

And that pretty much says it all.

[Divameow77]

16. Yes but,

I'm pretty sure the old guy knew why Anna Nicole was marrying him and he didn't seem to care, this guy might not realize this. IMO Anna earned every penny that guy left her.

[Orsino]

18. Marriage is a contract.

I probably think a little less of such folks, but not knowing their circumstances, I don't sneer too loudly. I think people should chase happiness any harmless way they like.

[WCGreen]

19. Who knows what will last when the glow is gone...

And only an ember remains....

That is what tells a successful relationship....

I know dozens of people who got married just to get married...

the kids came along and kept them busy...

But now, when the kids no longer depend upon the parents and the parents are left with the person they knew differently so very long ago....

[converted_democrat]

20. I know many couples that are like that..

My SO is 46, and all most all of his friends are going through that. Out of the 8 couples that had hung out since high school (They went to high school with him, I was still just a gleam in my fathers eye.) only one is still married.. My SO was the first on to divorce his wife,(They didn't have any kids.)and the rest all split when the last of the children had just graduated high school.. The only couple that is still married still has a kid in high school, so the could end up divorced too before it's all over..

[WCGreen]

24. That glow can just turned to inertia and shared

hardships and remembered joy...

[flvegan]

21. Yes, matter of fact, it is wrong.

She's pretty, marrying a total blob. You should see this girl that likes me. I'm a total blob, 34, but she digs me (hot, 23-ish).

Maybe she's marrying him for another reason. If, however, it's all about the Benjamins, then I retract my statements here.

[Ellen Forradalom]

22. Yes, but you're a vegan!

Now how could she not dig a vegan?

[LeftyMom]

23. Hot, 23ish?

Dude, fresianrider's man will kick your ass if you mess with his girl. :rofl:

I'm 25 next month, damn it. :)

[pitohui]

25. she doesn't care what you think of her

women don't have the same opportunities to make it financially and she really couldn't give a shit what you think, she has to take care of her future not appeal to popularity

good for her and i hope she takes the guy for a bomb

[converted_democrat]

34. Really? Than how did I make my money?? I'm a women and I made it

on my own.. She does care what I think because she asked me.. I'd stack my net worth against damn near anyone on this board and I'm only 26.. I understand that women have fewer opportunities than men, but I don't buy the argument that it can't be done.. She decided to spend her time looking for a rich man, and I chose to build my own business.. I'm sorry, but I don't understand why I have to respect that.. She's as bright as I am, and she could have done it if she wanted to.. Right after she announced her plan to marry him the first words out of her mouth was- "What do you think people will think.." She's worried about what people think..

[Tallison]

39. Sounds like an appeal for validation of opinions

you may have already made.

Her = lazy, wonton
You = self-sufficient, uncompromising of standards

If you're discomfited by such a distinction, perhaps it's because deep down you know it's pretty judgmental and a smokescreen for more conflicted feelings you have on the matter. :shrug:

[converted_democrat]

42. I asked in the OP if how I felt was wrong.. So, obviously I'm asking if

it's wrong that I feel this way.. I feel she took the easy way out, and I don't respect that.

[Tallison]

47. "Easy way out"? I don't think so.

This woman's in for a world of disillusionment. There's nothing enviable about the situation.

And try not to judge. I've learned with time that it only makes your own agenda appear suspect.

[swag]

26. It does become hard to care about what people do after a while.

With regard to the subject line question I'd say that it's nice when they have a real reason.

[converted_democrat]

35. You really don't feel that marrying for money is morally wrong?

She's my friend, and she's screwing up big.. If I don't tell her who will?

[jobycom]

27. People have married for money far longer than for love.

The only thing that bothers me is when one person creates a series of lies to marry someone else, pretending they are different or have different goals than they really do. I've known women to marry for love but create so many lies to make the man love the image they created that the marriage was completely dishonest. I'd rather see someone marry for money and keep it reasonably honest.

Just my opinion.

[leftofthedial]

28. marry for money

screw for love or just for fun

that's my advice.

[liontamer]

29. yes

Marrying for love is a luxury, and a relatively modern invention. Marriage is at it's root a social contract. I think most people prefer to marry for love, and it's sad that she has given up on the option, but you should have more sympathy than contempt for her

[XemaSab]

32. I'm divided

Half of me says it's good work if you can get it, but the other half of me remembers that the two rich guys I've dated have been assholes.

:dilemma:

[Blue_Tires]

33. eh....piss on 'em both

and no, i don't feel its wrong that you think less of her...I sort of want to thank the groom-to-be for taking 'Miss Thirsting for Material Wealth' off the market so she won't be sizing up the rest of the male gender by their cars, homes, and salaries...(at least until they finally divorce)...

But hey, it might work out, especially if the guy only loves to show her off at the local country club, or if she really knows how to scorch the bedsheets....But if the poor sap thinks there is real love involved here, then the gods help him...

As for me, I can spot the gold-digging hoes from 10 miles away (of course, this point is moot, because there is no gold to be mined, lol):silly: But, SOMEDAY, my ship will come in! If I get this lotto jackpot, you women in the lounge are gonna be all over me and you know it!:crazy: :freak: :spank: :hide: :yoiks:

[Tallison]

41. What's a "hoe"?

Seriously. What is a "hoe" to you?

[Blue_Tires]

55. the bride-to-be described in the OP comes pretty close, wouldn't you say?

i mean honestly; one minute she's cracking on the dude's looks, appearance and haircut, but the millisecond she catches that glimpse of the black AMEX card, she can't drop her pants and open the legs for him fast enough...nevermind the fact that she even admitted herself that she's only after the cashflow...

[Guava Jelly]

36. Since love is an illusion temporary insanity

may as well marry for looks and loot.
Im 39 living in sin with the same lady for 17.5 years.
she recently became hooked up for life financially.
she used to worry about credit cards, bills now since she has cash.
She wants to nail other guys...
Money just makes things worse

[tjdee]

37. WOMEN DO NOT CARE ABOUT LOOKS!!!!!1111111

(I am using what I learned from the very informative exclamation thread.)

Look. Just because he's loaded doesn't mean she's marrying him for his money, although I'm sure the security of money helps. Women do not care about looks. I do not know how many times I have to say it around here, LOL! We have eyes, and appreciate good looks, but they pale in comparison to things like whether he listens, how he treats us, whether he's got brains/skills/good prospects/passions, whether we feel safe (emotionally/physically/financially/whatever) with him, etc. etc.

It is easier for ugly rich men to get dates, but I guarantee you that even the okey dokiest looking of nonrich men will have at least one person in love with him in his lifetime.

Women, not so. Ugly women have it the worst of anyone. Luckily, in general, women are better looking than men. :)

[converted_democrat]

43. No, it's not like that... It's all about the money..

I was with her when they met.. (We were in a hotel bar in Miami.) He sat within a couple seats of us down the bar, and she was making fun of his body odor and strange choice of hair cut..) He got ready to pay and flipped out a black American Express (you can only get the card by invitation, and you have to have a huge net worth, like several multiples of millions) card. She saw the card and went over to chat him up.. It's all about the money, that's what bugs me.. She was making fun of him until she saw the card..

[Blue Diadem]

59. Aren't the black cards the "in" cards?

They give special perks in either NY, LA or Chicago I think.

[GalleryGod]

60. Was it the Clevelander? I Bet it WAS on Ocean Drive in South Beach

[converted_democrat]

61. It was the Shore Club..n/t

[Tallison]

38. People like her = great excuse for feeling self-righteous

and better about oneself.

Keep her around!

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

44. "World's Oldest Profession"

The Melanie Griffith sci-fi cult hit "Cherry 2000" has a nice take on the future of relationships. Prior to "the first date," the two parties sit down with their lawyers and draw up a sort of "pre-nup"...what will happen, what will not happen, money and goods exchanged for services rendered, etc...

It's a bleak and pessimistic look at love, but it accurately describes at least a segment of our society.

All I can say is I hope the blob's smart enough to spend some of that money on a Johnny Cochran-level pre-nup. "If the glove doesn't fit, the wife doesn't get s**t..."

[converted_democrat]

46. I loved that movie!! It was the first movie I ever watched that had a

"sex" scene in it.. I was home sick from school and it was on Showtime.. I grew up in a super conservative household and they never let me watch stuff like that.. Ah, memories..

[buddhamama]

48. fact v. opinion

1) did she tell you she was marrying him only for his money?

2) "She is a pretty girl, and the guy she's getting married to is a total blob that would've never had a shot with her under normal circumstances.." on what do you base this statement?- your own subjective standards or does she have a history of only dating "beautiful" men, which in and of itself is subjective. And what exactly are "normal circumstances"?

[converted_democrat]

49. Read post 43.. She made fun of him until she saw the black American

Express Card..

[Guy Fawkes]

50. Well...

marriage isn't about love. I mean, you can love someone a whole fuckload and not get married. Marriage, I think, is about benefits. You get tax breaks, shared health care, visitation, etc. Over 1,001 separate rights for people who marry.

So if she's going into the marriage only for the money, and the guy knows this and is taking it for the tax breaks and other bonuses... go right ahead. If neither party has any illusions... I don't see a problem.

[LaurenG]

56. I think it will probably come back to bite them in the

behind. I guess it would be live and let learn thing though.

[Cats Against Frist]

57. Well, in my younger days, I would have said they suck

But now, after one failed, and one rocky long-term relationship (like a marriage, without the papers), and the fact that I'm cynical, down on romance, a postmodernist, and a writer who doesn't want to have a job ever -- I'm not going to say that I'm not open to it.

That said, I wouldn't completely sell out. Problem is, it would never happen, because most people with cash are like clean-cut and want to live in McMansions. I have to find some scruffy wanderer with like millions socked away, or someone who is like a rich eccentric. See, the thing is -- I don't want to be rich, as in like diamonds, furs, cars -- I just don't want to have a job. Outside of food, house payment, and the occasional technological gadget, modest clothing updates, books, and some cheapie travel, I don't spend that much.

But, if I met someone who was nice enough, lonely, enough of a friend to talk with, and they were loaded -- yeah, I'd marry them. It can't be any worse than what I have, now.

[Presidentcokedupfratboy]

58. I think she is going to be VERY unhappy

Money is great, don't get me wrong. But you still have to live with the person you marry.

Just look at Donald Trump. How many times has that obnoxious boor been married?