Have you ever had a great first date become a one night stand?

[Radical Activist]

Maybe women deal with this more often. As a man, its my first time. We had a great first date, really connected. She made lots of overly complimentary comments about my "performance" without prompting. Then she canceled our next date (claimed to be sick) and didn't return my last call. I guess I now have to classify that as a one night stand, don't I? My love life refuses to be normal.

[Kid OfThe Black Hole]

1. I've had one night stands that turned into awkward and unwanted

"relationships" if that makes you feel any better.

I'd expand on that but 1. NO SEX THREADS and 2. I don't wanna be accused of braggadocio :evilgrin:

[Radical Activist]

2. ahem yeah

I wonder if my thread is vague enough to not get locked? I guess I'll find out soon enough.

I'm not sure if I've had your problem before.

[Kid OfThe Black Hole]

5. I didn't think your topic was too risque but

my response was about to be.

Anyway, here's something that might resonate. Two of the best experiences of my life were in the back of my van and in the woods behind a KFC where the Greyhound stopped for a meal break. One of the girls involved insisted I program her number in my phone, which leads back to my post above (somewhat unfortunately)

[Wapsie B]

3. Damn I know what you mean.

Oh boy do I know.

[Kid OfThe Black Hole]

6. Yeah at the time you don't stop to think

"do I really want this bitch calling me ever again?" and its pretty much downhill from there. Because eventually you are guaranteed to be desperate for a good lay and you'll think "hey what about so-n-so" and...blah, it sucks lol

[Wapsie B]

14. My problem is I gave my heart away too quickly too many times

and didn't learn to tell the difference between getting laid and having a real relationship. There were several times when I dearly wish I would've asked myself that same question. Sometimes wham bam thank you ma'am is the best way to go for both parties.

[Kid OfThe Black Hole]

20. Actually for me I used to think the same way

until I realized that really whats going on is that I can interpret just about anything as a "girlfriend experience". Fun phone conversation? I'll lie in bed the entire next day thinking about it. Was she extra-special nice just to me yesterday? I'll be fucking up at work for hours afterwards. I just get enamored with different girls easily and I don't really separate the base desire to get laid from enchantment of it like alot/(most?) guys seem to. To me thats extremely crass because I really *like* the sweetness and brightness a girl can randomly inject into my sucky day.

On the flipside if a girl I run into but don't know that well or anything all the sudden gives off a "don't talk to me anymore" vibe that really bothers me too.

It gets awkward when I do things just to be nice that would normally be taken as signs that I was trying to get in some girls pants. Like one time a girl was talking about how she wanted to get a Super Ninentdo to play some of her old games in her dorm. I was like "hey I have three, I'll drag one out of my closet tomorrow and bring it to you". And in retrospect I can see how something like that might be miscontrued.

[Wapsie B]

26. Yeah I can read way too much into interactions with women at times.

I just need to realize that there's other women coming down the line and chill out.

[Kid OfThe Black Hole]

27. But I don't want another girl!

I want {insert random flavor-of-the-moment cutie who smiled at me today}

[Wapsie B]

28. The hottie of the moment sounds good right now.

No love letters, no roses or diamond rings. Just two people being people fulfilling their baser needs.

[khashka]

4. Welcome to the club

I've had a lot of dates that turned out to be one night stands and one night stands that turned out to be dates. It can be a little awkward. But what the hell? That's life.


Khash.

[riderinthestorm]

7. I'm a woman and been on both sides of the fence

I've had a great first date with a guy, sex included, and the next day been head over heels for the guy, calling him, badgering etc. Sick, yes, but true.

I've been on other dates where there was sex involved on the first date (yes, yes, I DID put out on the first date), and woke up the next day and just couldn't believe I'd been that horny and stupid.

Sometimes it's just hormones. Sometimes it's just the place one is in at that point in their life (needy, confident - whatevah).

I've been married for 20 years now but can still recall that era of my life with real clarity....

I wouldn't put a whole lot into it, it happens. I've been the woman you are referring to and sometimes what's happened doesn't have a whole lot to do with you. I know some women who slept with guys while on the rebound from a breakup, or they were trying to "experiment" before they committed to a long term relationship - you may just be the guy who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Although hopefully the sex was good and at least you can walk away with that....

[Radical Activist]

8. I got the impression

that it may have been a rebound/confidence booster kind of thing. She seemed especially starved for compliments and mentioned getting hurt bad after her last relationship. Thanks for your thoughts.

And no, it wasn't all a bad experience. I mean, I would like to get together with her again but I can't complain too much. :)

[henslee]

21. You cant l ove em and stay above em. .... Cube.

But seriously....Hate to admit it but.... when the pants come off too quickly... its sometimes a bad sign... relationship wise.

[Kid OfThe Black Hole]

9. The best one night stands to me are with someone

who you really aren't that into and/or haven't had time to fantasize about nailing. Its especially hot if she initiates it totally out of the blue. Because, really, every time I've ever "got" the girl I was pining for it ended up not being as good as in my head and thats kind of a letdown :(

I hope that doesn't sound crass but I've never really thought of the girls I've been with as "sluts" or "whores" because most of them are very sweet and wholesome (my mom disagrees regarding the ones with piercings and tatoos which...pretty much all of them lol). Even the ones who are very forward and direct sexually tend to have a shy side. Whereas my shy side is limited to "how much can I come on to you without getting kicked in the crotch?"

[riderinthestorm]

10. LOL!!!!

I'd like to think the guys never thought of me as a slut but....

:evilgrin:

[Kid OfThe Black Hole]

13. That was not the direction I was going with my post

plus you sound like you were a helluva lotta fun back in your single days so who cares whether some judgmental assholes label you or not? I think mostly the ones do the name-calling do so because they can't get any lol

[riderinthestorm]

18. No offense taken!

And yes, I was wild back then. I definitely would have been labelled a slut but what a blast I had at the time.

Don't get me wrong, I love my husband and wouldn't go back to those days for anything but part of what makes us great together is the fact that both of us have had plenty of experience before we committed.

:toast: :party:

[Deja Q]

11. No. I've had a one night stand turn into a couple of dates...

And then he vanished.

Meh. Whatever. I shouldn't have said "peak oil" and he's recovering from what he's read. :D We clicked on everything else, though he is a bit repetitive (which didn't bother me for obvious reasons...)

[MissB]

12. Yes

but that is because I sobered up the next morning.


Just kidding. Kinda.

[Radical Activist]

17. hmm...

She was sober when she suggested we get together so I don't think that's the case here.
But I know what you're talking about. :)

[converted_democrat]

15. Are you upset that she didn't call back?? The majority of my male friends

would think you're luckiest man on Earth.. Are you going to try to contact her again, or let it go?

[Radical Activist]

16. I am odd, I know.

I'll call her a second time. After all, maybe she told the truth and she's still very sick. If she doesn't call back after that, I'll let it go. I'm not going to get all stalker/desperate for anybody, even if she does pretty well fit what I look for in someone.

[WCGreen]

23. Hey, you are stepping into her life....

You can't expect her to drop everything just cause you showed up...

Give her some time... Call later in the week... Toward thurs... Ask her out for lunch on Saturday....

[Radical Activist]

24. It has already been two days.

Plenty of time.

[Kid OfThe Black Hole]

25. Don't romanticize it

right afterwards you obviously are more prone to remembering the positive unless there was some horrible mishap, but normally later on I find some fault with her or her performance which is just my way of rationalizing my decision to say "screw her" and move on

Ultimate was the girl who whined the whole time about how much her head hurt from where her ex had smacked her earlier that evening. At the time I did my best to display some sympathy and not let it ruin the moment, but really...if you are in that much pain why the fuck are you here with me throwing down on your ridiculously high bed??? (one mattress stacked on top of the other)

[threehensandacow]

19. started a fling

but never flinged. and now i'm in love. what's up with that? sometimes i think it might have been easier if we would have just done the flinging. but, what can you do? we fling now from time to time. that's nice. and he says he loves me too. so, i guess it might have been easier, but not nearly as satisfying.

[RetroLounge]

35. ...

:hug:

RL

[WCGreen]

22. Ah yes..... The one night stand that turns akward....

How about waking up next to a gal in college that you remember through a haze of pot and jack daniels...

She obviously is in the same boat as you...

You know you had a time cause the evidence is there....

So you akwardly say you gotta go cause my sister is visiting and if she tells my mom, well, I'll get cut off...

Or how about waking up and not remembering anything about her....

Or, not getting the hints.. no call backs... so you continue to call for about a week or two in a drunken stupor... (Thank god I came to my senses and there were no stalking laws back then)...

Or how about hooking up for one night and both know it was wrong as soon as the dead was done...

I could go on... But that should about get the picture straight.....

I had a lot ogf great ones too... Fun times....

[Kid OfThe Black Hole]

29. I know I'm alone in this

but I really, really prefer it without alcohol or drugs involved. I won't even try to explain all the reasons why since no one seems to agree with me anyway lol

EDIT: I don't care if she is a little high or tipsy but you know what I mean

[WCGreen]

34. I do now....

But back then....

I was a practicing Alcohlic....

[leeroysphitz]

30. Great first date = One night stand.

Don't tell my wife I said this.

[Kid OfThe Black Hole]

31. Thats one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard

*sniff* *sniff*

[leeroysphitz]

32. I am, of course, just being a smart ass... n/t

[Kid OfThe Black Hole]

33. Oops

wished you'd mentioned that before I told your wife...she sounded mucho PISSED :D

[Aristus]

36. Back in my "Rocky Horror" days (I was Eddie), this girl who was

a friend of a floor show member took a liking to me. There was a strong mutual attraction. One night, I was getting a ride home with a bunch of the group. Sharon (that was her name) took me aside and asked me if I would make out with her on the way. Boy, would I! :loveya: She told me it was because another guy in the group kept hitting on her and she didn't like it. If he saw us playing tonsil-hockey in the back seat, she reasoned, he would leave her alone.

That was the best ride home I've ever had. :evilgrin:

A few weeks later, I had my best one-night stand ever, with Sharon. It was the night before I left the Army to come home. It was a beautiful, sweet and glorious night. Sometimes I wish I'd stayed with her.