Is it really so hard to let go of your children?

[supernova]

The thread about strange mother in laws got me to thinking. And yes, I have my own MiL issues. In our wedding photos, you can see her literally tugging on his arm... away from me. But that's all in the past. I don't even have those pics. I left them with him. I thought once about getting them after my parents died; there was a time I wanted those pics, but I didn't want them more than I wanted not to see him again.

From the other side, is it really so hard to see your kid go off and set up house with someone else who is not their parent? Those of you who have grown children and watched them pair off or get married, what has gone through your mind? Do you like your offspring's SO? Have issues?

[SoCalDem]

1. I LOVED seeing mine grow up and begin THEIR lives

That's what parenting is all about.. Growing them UP and moving them OUT !

[SeattleGirl]

2. It is and it isn't

By that I mean that to many parents, their kids are always their kids, and that's something that doesn't just disappear over time. However, it isn't in that it's fun to watch them build their own lives. My daughter is not married yet, but she's lived with this guy for nearly 4 years, and I really like him a lot. And, I would never, EVER want to be one of those mothers that my kids spouse would have to pry out of my fingers. Ugh!

[madrchsod]

3. yes it is

i had tears in my eyes when our daughter moved 8 blocks away......but she moved back 6 months later...our boys have been gone for awhile now but they are close so that`s not to bad.... our kids know better than to live with someone that we don`t like....lol...

[Maddy McCall]

4. Here's my take on motherhood.

The greatest blessing I can give my son is the ability to love and be loved by others. I've given him morals to live by, and I hope that these influence his choices of mate material. However: WHOMEVER he chooses to love, I will accept.

In-law manipulation has ruined relationships in my family in the past. I won't be one of those mothers who wants to be the first love in her son's life. I won't be around forever, and chances are that the mate he chooses will grow old with him. That's what he deserves, and that's what I'll never interfere with.

I just hope that I've raised him to choose a mate who will respect him, as well as expect respect from him. In short, as long as the person loves him and he loves the person, I'm delighted. Raising our children to have mature and loving relationships, based on mutual respect, should be as much of a priority of parents of younger kids as raising them to spend money wisely, get a good education, etc...all of the other things we as parents do.