Where do I bitch about my roommate?

[Maraya1969]

[crispini]

1. This would be the place. :)

[In_The_Wind]

3. Hey!

You made it home! :hi::loveya:

[crispini]

12. I did!

How are you lady! I haven't been here much, had a lot of catching up on "real life" to do.

Hey I had a thought about your trip -- you should take digital pix and upload them as you go on travels, so we could all virtually travel along with you, heh! :7

[DS1]

2. On his/her bathroom mirror, written with poo-fingers

The problem solves itself very quickly, one way or another

[Deja Q]

4. The lounge... BTW, at least you have one to bitch about.

Some of us have nobody. Never have. Never will.

[eyesroll]

5. Step one: Post a "roommate wanted" ad on Craigslist.

Step two: Get roommate.

:shrug:

[Maraya1969]

8. That would terrify me. I know the loons I've had over the years.

Getting one off the internet would freak me out. Maybe it would not be bad if I did a bunch of checks of them.

EDIT: so pissed I can't spell

[Maraya1969]

7. Huh? Are you saying you feel lonely?

[Maraya1969]

6. Ok then here goes. And anyone in a 12 step program don't bitch

at me because I don't want to hear it. I took in a woman who had been drinking and I caught her drinking once about 6 weeks ago. Since then she has gotten another sponsor but is about $400 down on the rent. I called this sponsor once because damn it, if someone is drinking I don't think that anonymity think pertains.

Well I called the sponsor this morning and she told me she would not tell me if my roommate was drinking or not because of the anonymity of the program. THEN she turns on ME and starts asking if I am going to meetings and and why not and my mind is screwed up because I haven't been to meetings.

FUCK THIS. I have been sober since 1978!!! This whole shit can turn into a cult if you let it. I think there is a point that you have to move on - not that you quit altogether and I haven't, (stopped meetings that is. This is the EDIT) but - well for me - I can't make the thing my life, (does not naming it make it ok for the anonymity thing? well that is stupid because I am anonymous right now anyway:shrug:

I should have said this was a roommate and DRINKING thing but I forgot about the drinking part.

I'll bitch more when I can think of more to say.

EDIT: more spelling issues. I don't spell or write well when I am mad.

[politicat]

9. That's a standard (X)A tactic - turn on the accuser.

Sorry. I have no respect for that organization - they have a low success rate (5%) and they basically substitute the cult for the addiction. The only people I've known who have successfully quit their chemical dependencies are those who have gone through other forms of treatment (usually cognitive behavioral, which starts with the idea that most addictions are based on the concept of desire and emotional retreat rather than physical dependency (excepting meth and heroin, since those actually cause physical changes).).

Anyway.

The Sponsor is not behaving appropriately - one of the keys of the program (IIRC) is keeping your commitments and not being a mooch.

As far as the roommate is concerned, if she's drinking and not paying her rent, you're well within reason to tell her to get out - - but don't leave her alone with your stuff, and make sure you know where she's going so if she does manage to steal something, you can get it back.

[Maraya1969]

10. Desire and emotional retreat. That is interesting. I get the emotional

retreat thing. I used to fantasize about someone giving me that drug that makes you go to sleep for operations when I was feeling real bad. Then they could wake me up when everything was better.:hi:

[politicat]

13. The desire is because the drug feels good.

We're animals - monkeys look for fermented bananas, elephants have been known to eat from fermented piles of leaves (and a drunk elephant is something to be wary of), birds and bats have both been known to eat overripe fruit... Why is it any different for us? We like the feeling. Sometimes we like the feeling too much and it gives us a place to go when other things aren't working in our lives... be it food or not eating, nicotine, booze, shopping, work.... (The last being the hardest behavior to break because it actually can improve your life...)

And you're right - we all have issues. The sponsor's method of dealing with her issues is to hold up the PROGRAM like Buffy holding up a cross against a vampire.

[Maraya1969]

11. This woman is sober 24 years - the one that just yelled at me.

Her whole life for the last 24 years is (X)A. I did that for many many years until I realized that too many times people are just hanging around in the problem and calling themselves sick. I can't stand to go to one of the meetings where everyone talks as if an alcoholic is so different from another person. We all have issues. The alcoholic just learned to deal with them by getting plastered.:rofl:

[mdmc]

14. hang in there

my drunk roomie won't get his cat fixed:kick:

[Maraya1969]

15. I hate that. I hope he doesn't let the cat run loose and make more

cats.

[Maraya1969]

16. Where did you get that success rate figure? I find that amazing. However

you do see people come and go all the time. The thing is, no one knows where they go!