Politically correct (humor)

[LaurenG]

How to speak about Women and be Politically Correct:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" ~~ She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" ~~ She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

3. She is not "EASY" ~~ She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLOND" ~~ She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" ~~ She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" ~~ She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" ~~ She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" ~~ She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

9. She does not "NAG" you ~~ She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

10. She is not a "TRAMP" ~~ She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" ~~ She is
PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" ~~ She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."


How to speak about Men and be Politically Correct:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" ~~ He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

2. Removed because it wasn't that funny and might get me in trouble.

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" ~~ He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" ~~ He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" ~~ He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."

6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" ~~ He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" ~~ He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" ~~ He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" ~~ He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

10. He is not "HORNY" ~~ He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants ~~ It's "REAR-CLEAVAGE

[Strong Atheist]

1. .

:popcorn:

[bigwillq]

2. These are great!

:hi: Thanks for sharing!