How do know she/he is the one?

[IA_Seth]

I will answer in a bit.

[Missy Vixen]

1. Could you live the rest of your life without him/her?

If the answer is "yes", they're not "the one".

Julie

[Rabrrrrrr]

10. I think that if the answer is "no", then you have a psychological problem

that needs to be worked on.

The answer should always be "yes". Yes, I am sufficiently differentiated and self-actualized that I can live my life without that person.

Just to be a nitpick, but I think it's an important nitpick.

[Missy Vixen]

12. Thanks, Rabrrrrr n/t

[LaraMN]

13. That reminds me of when we went through pre-marital counseling sessions.

My fiance and I had to take a compatibility test, and one of the questions asked was, (true or false) "my fiance is the only person I could ever be compatible with." I answered "no," my husband-to-be answered "yes." It still freaks me out a bit that he said that. Maybe he thought I'd get mad if he didn't claim I was the end-all-be-all of women.:rofl:

[BrotherBuzz]

2. Hand over your paycheck for deposit and see what happens.

Once the money thing is out of the way, the rest is easy. Heck, you can even start believing in fortune cookies.

[progmom]

3. ?

:shrug:

[BrotherBuzz]

5. Trust

[felonious thunk]

4. Ratt is totally underrated

When she says that, you know.

[kwassa]

6. oh tell us, tell us, give us The Answer!

[IA_Seth]

11. Lol, not THE answer...my answer.

I don't really know how you tell if ther person is "the one" of if there is even such a thing. I think there are a lot of "one of the's" out there. Lol.

I would say when you can fall in love with a person all over again, over and over again, they are the one.

Who knows. That's why I asked.

[rug]

23. Good answer

[HEyHEY]

7. If it doesn't end in divorce

[RetroLounge]

18. Yup.

She was the one for 10 years.

Now she isn't...

RL

[tjdee]

8. If you don't know, the answer is probably no.

The feeling hit me particularly like a ton of bricks. Completely unmistakable.

Of course, I haven't met Adrien Brody yet. :silly:

And just because he/she is the one, that doesn't mean you end up together.

[anarch]

9. I'll let you know after I die

Oh, wait. I guess I won't.

[Ravenseye]

14. I'll tell you how I knew

For me it was about the engagement ring. If she was the one I was going to get her a decent ring. When the time came I knew. I had sold my car because I wasn't using it, and I had 6 grand sitting in my bank account. I could have bought a great new television for myself, massive HDTV sucker...or a ring for my wife smaller than a peanut.

I chose the ring. That's how I knew. I knew I'd rather spend 5 grand on a token for my 'one', than spend it on myself for somethign I'd really really enjoy.

[IA_Seth]

15. Halle-freakin-lujah brother! n/t

[Gidney N Cloyd]

17. Did you tell her you didn't spend the whole 6 grand?

:evilgrin:

[Ravenseye]

20. Actually I spent about all of it

I went in and gave the number of 3 grand being my limit to the guy, and then went up to close to 5 grand for the stone plus setting, all told was close to 6 grand with tax and all.

When people comment on the stone (it's nice...solitare classic diamond over a carat and clear) I say "Yeah that was my car." I do that simply to piss my wife off. Ain't love grand? :evilgrin:

[Left Is Write]

16. He comes with a giant neon blinking sign above his head

that says "The One."

[swag]

19. Good question.

But since it's been 22 years, I prefer not to rock the boat by thinking such thoughts.

[LaurenG]

21. As soon as you see it for the first time

you will want to take a ride. You can only imagine how good it will feel... driving down the highway in his mazda rx7 or whatever he drives.;) :evilgrin: :hi:

[SeattleGirl]

22. For me, it goes beyond a gut feeling.

The gut feeling is a part of it, but it's also other things:

*Being able to talk for hours about anything and everything.
*Being able to be honest about what I think/feel without fear or having to walk on eggshells (ahd he can do the same with me).
*Having similar mindsets (and no, I don't mean there are no differences, but that the mindsets are very compatible).
*Liking many of the same things, but also respecting those things the other may like, but you don't.
*Feeling comfortable with each other.
*Sexual compatibility.

There are other things too, but what I listed are things that would tell me he's "the one".

[mongo]

25. Yeah, the gut feeling

It's always been something that I could not quite put into words, a feeling or vibe that makes me know I could stay with that person forever.

But even that doesn't gaurantee a relationship. I've had that feeling with a really horrid person who fucked me over in a major way.

[SeattleGirl]

26. Been there, done the horrid person thing

That's why I listed the other things I did. The gut feeling, for me, is a starting point. It won't sustain a relationship, and it can blind one (as it did me, big time) to the truth about a person.

But if, along with the gut feeling, the other things I mentioned are also true, then I'd say it's a pretty good bet that he/she is "the one".

:hi:

[mongo]

27. Yeah, but without that gut feeling, it won't work either

After the end of my first marriage, I didn't think I'd love anyone like I loved my first wife ever again.

I ended up marrying a very nice woman who I still care for very much, and who saw me through open heart surgery -- we had lived together for 5 years, and I thought I owed it to her, but I never had that gut feeling. I ended up leaving her and hurting her very badly. I'm glad we're friends again.

But Daisy, god I left a good job and a 4br house and moved 600 miles to be with her, when we had only been in each other's company for 5 days in person. We've been together almost 10 years now.

[SeattleGirl]

31. I agree, mongo. I think the gut feeling is also important.

My relationship with the guy I dated before I met my husband ended up being the absolute worst person in the world for me, and he hurt me deeply. When I met my husband, I needed someone who would treat me well, be nice to me, etc (and I met him quite awhile after the bad guy was long gone). In hindsight, I know there was no gut feeling there, and now I'm looking at....well.

[Kat45]

29. Sadly, I had all those things with someone--except the last one.

I ended up having to break up with him because of it. That HAS to be there.

[SeattleGirl]

32. I never realized before how important that kind of

compatibility is, but unfortunately, I know all too well now.

[LaraMN]

33. Uck.

My relationship scores poorly on your checklist. We've got the last item, at least.:-(

[SeattleGirl]

35. You're not alone darlin.

I just wish I would have made my list BEFORE I got into my marriage. :cry:

[kwassa]

24. the one and only?

[distantearlywarning]

28. I knew because

everything just felt easy. It's kind of hard to explain, but it just seemed like everything just sort of fit. Like finding the right puzzle piece. It was all just natural, nothing had to be forced into place to make the relationship work. All my relationships before that were like two puzzle pieces that seemed like they might fit, but then had to be jammed together to try to make things work out.

I hope this made sense. It's the only way I know how to describe it.

[TroubleMan]

30. The oracle told me, and Agent Smith keeps showing up.

nt.

[cynatnite]

34. There are no guarantees on anything...

I can only speak for the past and the now. Hubby is it for me because he's the ying to my yang. We're opposites, but in the places that make us fit together perfectly.

I can't speak to the future so when someone says 'that is the one'...yeah, that might be true at that moment, but people do change over time. It's inevitible.

Hubby and I have both changed a lot in the almost 18 years we've been married, but we still fit as well now as we did then. Who knows if that'll still be the case tomorrow. We take it one day at a time and do the best we can by each other.

[MrScorpio]

36. Chemical risk assessment by EPA

A clean bill of health means that she's the one!

That DX jcamp chemical spectra test (polystyrene, from a BIORAD FTIR) is the bombdigedy!

[Sheri]

37. Easy answer.

Believe it or not, my nose told me he was the right one, and just look at the results. It was a great genetic mix.