I defy anyone to come up with anything more boring than environmental laws

[XemaSab]

I've been applying for jobs in environmental consulting, and either you're a field hand or you're sitting behind a desk typing the same boring crap day after day after day. Seriously. It doesn't get any more boring.

Unless you're doing a wetland delineation and walking back and forth across the same GIANT field every day for 3 months in 100 degree weather in the Central Valley.

I hate developers. I really do. I preferred my old job working for Pacific Lumber to working for developers. And Wal-Mart. I hated working for them too. Assholes build a new store 2 miles away from the old one when the employees at the old one get uppity, and I'm supposed to help them with this scheme? :puke:

I guess the laws aren't just boring, they're frustrating, 'cause all you can do is hope to find a Burrowing Owl or an elderberry or a vernal pool, and even then they'll just go and rip the field and hope they kill the owls. Yes, I have seen this happen after I told a client they had owls.

But I want a job where I'm not a tool of the man.

/rant

[Crazy Dave]

1. What's the buffer radius of a "Burrowing Owl" nest?

:popcorn:

[XemaSab]

2. I seem to recall it's a 200 meter

construction exclusion zone for an active nest, but if it's not the breeding season, you can kick 'em out. Or rather, pay me to kick 'em out. :P

[Robb]

3. For a pick-me-up, attend a meeting of your local weed board

Trust me, until you've heard two hours on knapweed abatement, you haven't touched the face of God. :D

[XemaSab]

4. It's yellow star thistle here

and unless it's like the movie "Groundhog Day" where it happens over and over and over, I'm not so sure it can be worse.

Try editing the same exact mistakes in every single document over and over and over, and you'll understand.

I swear I could rewrite the paragraph on the migratory bird treaty act with my eyes closed. x(

[Oeditpus Rex]

16. I had to write a freakin' *story* on yellow star thistle

a few years ago. And, goddammit, I made that sucker interesting!

[XemaSab]

19. Link please?

:eyes:

[Oeditpus Rex]

21. Long gone

Like I said, it was a few years ago — 2001, probably.

[Radical Activist]

11. weed board

well that's a creative new name for it. :smoke:

[LSK]

5. try EDI

[XemaSab]

6. What's EDI?

:shrug:

[LSK]

7. Electronic Data Interchange

Basically sending invoices and status messages between companies electronically.

[XemaSab]

9. I'm not sure

Is it the kind of job where every day you try to recite the script from a different film from memory just to pass the time? :shrug:

[LSK]

12. no, you have to figure out why half of them didnt make it

Nothing but problems all the time. We have to pull data from our database and then convert it to standard EDI code and send it off. We have like 30 accounts and they are always adding new ones to the mix too.

I have 10 to-do things on my list today and it seems im working on all of them at the same time and getting nowhere.

What exactly does an Environmental Consultant do?

[XemaSab]

13. You're a tool of the man

A pawn in the game between the agencies (such as the Army Corps, the US Fish and Wildlife Service, and the Department of Fish and Game), and your clients, who are usually developers but are sometimes cities, utilities, tribal governments, agencies such as the Bureau of Reclamation, or other landowning entities.

You go out to your client's land and tell them what they've got standing in the way between a beautiful forest meadow and an 18 hole golf course resort. :P

[LSK]

17. sounds like you can at least get out of the office sometimes

[XemaSab]

18. Have you ever had stickers in your socks?

And your ankles itched worse than chiggers? :shrug:

[blindpig]

8. Ever read Lucky You by Carl Hiaasan?

A naive biologist working for developers gets offed by a hitman. In Skinney Dip by Hiassan a corrupt biologist has all kinds of ugly shit happen to him, starting with being force fed a pinkie rat. Light reading but great fun. Should be required reading for grad students.

[XemaSab]

10. Ooooh... sounds like a good read!

Thanks for the tip! :D

[blindpig]

14. minor correction

The pinkie rat incident happened to a lobbyist for developers in another book, but you get the drift. See Sick Puppy for the greatest canned hunt in literature.

[XemaSab]

15. Good deal!

:bounce:

[MissB]

20. Drinking water regulations.

My first day on the job, I was directed to sit down at my new desk and get familiar with the state's administrative rules on drinking water.

[WeRQ4U]

22. I went to Lewis and Clark Law to do exactly that..........

Considering they were the number one E-law school at the time, I figured it fit. I lasted through one semester of Environmental and Administrative law classes and was convinced that I would hate it.

The laws are toothless and the hoops to jump through are MANY. Plus, it always seemed like the situation was complicated by having at LEAST three different competing interests.......the bad guy, the goverment and the activists. I wasn't die hard enough for it.

[XemaSab]

25. I think the problem is that

the only two laws that are useful for blocking development are the Clean Water Act and the Endangered Species Act, and too often those laws are twisted far beyond the original intent of the law. Activists shouldn't have to hope for an inconvenient Elderberry bush in order to conserve open space.

[WeRQ4U]

28. Like I said, the laws are toothless and ineffective.

Nothing can ever get done. Plus, for the amount of mundane bullshit E-law attorneys have to endure, they usually get paid peanuts.

[Richardo]

23. Freight forwarder terms and conditions. Hold Harmless agreements.

Purchase and sale agreements.

These are the things of my (work) life. And they are SO boring.

[Blue_Tires]

24. health insurance policy regulations?

[Benfea]

26. Conducting video surveillance is FAR more boring.

It's a proven fact.

[EstimatedProphet]

27. Well put

You just summed up all my feelings and experiences about being a biologist.

[XemaSab]

29. Morning EP!

:bounce:

Yeah, I'm wondering if toxic waste would be any better.

At the very least, I'd like a job where they pay for me to take the HAZWOPR...

[billyskank]

30. Hi Xema

:hi:

[ScreamingMeemie]

31. The tax code...

:shrug: