Musing about old photographs....

[LynzM]

I was going through a whole pile of old pics tonight, just for the hell of it, and had the thought: anyone looking back on them would not get an accurate view on my life. There I am, smiling in most of the pics there are of me from high school/college... where are the pics of the tears, the anguish, the guilt, the drama, the pain? Someone should have taken some of those, not just the happy pics. What a weird thing, that is. A view into a life that wasn't really what it looked like, from those pictures.

I guess I'm feeling rambly tonight, and I just wanted to share. You ever get like that when you look at old pics?

[Deja Q]

1. I prefer to forget the past. There is nothing real in it.

[LynzM]

8. Awww, HT

:hug:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

2. i think of the sunshine song every time i see a pic in the past

you are not as fat as you think you are

[LynzM]

3. I don't think I know that song....

But I agree, looking back!

[miss_american_pie]

4. Sort of melancholy and depressed

And wish the current me could go talk to the young me.

[LynzM]

5. Ah, that too....

It depends a lot on my mood, and which pictures I'm looking at... In a way, I wish the current me could go talk to the younger me, but at the same time, could I do that, the current me wouldn't be where I am now, knowing what I know. You know? :crazy:

:hug: for you, MAP

[miss_american_pie]

10. Yes, exactly

:hug:

[JitterbugPerfume]

6. sometimes I look at old photos

and wonder about silly stuff like what would they think of what the world is like now----


Jitterbug has a lot of time on her hands

[LynzM]

9. Do you ever think about....

The fact that someday, Tupperware is going to be in a museum somewhere? LOL I wonder about that kind of stuff a lot, when I got museums...

[Oeditpus Rex]

7. A very compelling thought

I considered it, and I realized most photos — snapshots, certainly — are taken for the photographer, not the subjects. Since most people want to remember only happy moments, they're naturally the ones we want to capture on film, or a memory card.

Every picture doesn't really tell a story, but part of a story — usually a very small part.

[LynzM]

11. That's a good point, OR

There are a few pics I've taken on purpose of unhappy times, like pics of my daughter yelling at the top of her lungs. Looking back, they're kind of funny, but also a reminder of how things *really* were, you know?

I guess part of what makes me sad is that I am truly happier now than I was when most of those pics were taken, but there is less photographic "proof" of that!

[Oeditpus Rex]

12. Yeah... it's strange, in a way

When we look at newspapers or magazines, we're usually most compelled by photos depicting tragedy in one form or another. Yet most of us don't want to make those kinds of photos.

I wonder what's behind that.

[LynzM]

13. True...

I think it takes a certain kind of person to be able to detach enough from what's going on to capture that kind of pain without being consumed by it. Then again, maybe I'm wrong, and there's a limit to how much you can see and stay sane. I know a man who took pictures at his granddaughter's funeral... never saw him cry, but he must have taken 800 pictures that day. Maybe the camera acts as an emotional filter, for some?

[Oeditpus Rex]

14. Great guess!

I've made many photos of some hideous stuff — well, let me amend that; you don't shoot the bodies because those shots will never be in print anyway, at least not in a "family" newspaper. And if you do shoot the bodies it pisses off the cops, and maybe the next time you roll on an accident they remember you and make your job tougher.

But you look at the entire scene, and elements of it, through a viewfinder, and it does separate you. As long as the camera's in front of your face, you're just doing your job, and there are other things to think about — lighting, composition, etc. — rather than the reality.

Of course, you eventually put the camera down and then you see the scene for what it is, and maybe you walk away and put your hands on your knees and try not to throw up. And maybe you're still shaking when you get home four hours later...

[LynzM]

16. Wow, OR....

:hug: You said what I was trying to get at, but from a perspective I don't have. Thanks for sharing that, and for doing that job. Wow.

[Oeditpus Rex]

18. Thanks

You never forget the first one. Thinking about it still makes me stop and consider how precious is life.

[Squeech]

15. Two things I regret

and they're independent of the pictures, although there are pictures that sorta represent them. One is that I didn't accomplish enough. There are a few pictures of me playing guitar and yelping into a microphone (with some appallingly bad haircuts), but there should have been more, I should have been playing ALL THE TIME!

The other is inspired by the picture (which I can't find at the moment) of myself on George's Island, with an aquarium full of hermit crabs, and a big sign reading CRAB WORLD. (I do have the picture of the woman I was with-- I took her picture and she took mine.) We're both crabby people, of course. But the regret is that I got so angry for so much of my life over things that really weren't important. There are much more crucial things to be angry about now, and I'm sorry I wasted all that good cathartic anger back in the late, lamented 20th century...

And I'm still in your debt for this avatar. (On edit: except that now I see I don't have it any more; my star has expired...)

[LynzM]

17. I'm giggling about the appallingly bad haircuts...

:hug: I'm sorry you feel like that about things, Squeech. Regrets suck, but I definitely can't say that I don't have any, or that I know how to let go of them, so I'll just offer you another hug :hug:

Your avatar reminds me of hanging out and talking with you and Redstone in Boston, every time I see it, and that makes me smile! :) I hope you get it back soon! Let me know if you don't still have it; I think I have it around here someplace!

[Squeech]

19. I have it on file

but I no longer have the DU mojo.

Regarding the hanging out and talking, I just posted a thread proposing a Boston get-together, which I certainly hope you'll contribute to, because it's been entirely too long since the lot of us have hung out and talked. :hug: at you too!

[bettyellen]

21. i would have never pegged you as an angry person...

quite the opposite.
:hi:

[Squeech]

23. Yes and no

Maybe "peevish" would be a better word. Basically the compromises and inefficiencies in a world that really is old enough and smart enough to know better have always cheesed me off. But the current problems are so much more severe than the ones we used to have that I regret having wasted all that bile on comparatively trivial excuses. It makes my rage at BushCo seem inadequate...

But thanks for the heads-up. Sorry we didn't speak more in NYC :hi:

[bettyellen]

25. yes, next times a charm, and we'll get to talk!

okay, peevish perhaps, but you have a very kind, happy face.
and your peevish days are over, so good for you!

[bettyellen]

20. I have pics of me hysterical crying with my kitty...

because i was about to have her put down.
it was really the kitty's pic i wanted, not me -but she was weak and i couldn't put her down for the life of me.

[LynzM]

22. Aw dude....

:hug: I just had to go through that for the first time this weekend. It really sucks. :hug:

[bettyellen]

24. i'm so sorry baby, i had no idea....

i had little girl 17 years, it was tough. i cried off and on for three days. the entire labor day weekend.
that sucks. :hug: i'm so sorry.

[LynzM]

27. Aww, thanks, BE

He was one of my first two furbabies, but he'd been sick and getting worse for a long time. He was only 12, but he was old, you know? They stayed with my mom after I went away to college and to Indiana, and I think it was much harder on her than on me. She kept trying to apologize to me for making the decision, like I was going to be angry about it :( Not angry, just sad. I loved that kitten. Thanks for the hugs, dude, and back at ya :hug:

[Tyrone Slothrop]

26. I know the feeling

I think Isaac Brock does too...

Exit Does Not Exist

Does not exist, take an exit
I hear voices insinuating
Feeds me lyrics to this song that I am saying
Sunlight 7:20 pm, early september
Standing looking at a photograph
That you do not remember being taken
You look out of breath, and me like I am faking
As a matter of fact I don't recall this photo being taken
You don't even actually exist so I just started shaking
Does not exist, take an exit

[LynzM]

28. Nice one...

I'll have to look that up, thanks!