Help needed: We've got neighbors that would make Gandhi go postal

[Missy Vixen]

Hi everyone,

DH and I are wondering if the good folk of DU have some additional suggestions on what we might do about this problem, besides selling our house and moving.

Our next-door neighbors are driving us nuts. They also lived in our former development. They bought next door to us because we stupidly stood up for them in a dispute with some other neighbors over their Boxer puppy. (This poor dog is a status item. In other words, he's rarely played with, left alone for long stretches of time, but they can say that they own a Boxer.) They evidently believe that we are nothing more than doormats.

It is congenitally impossible for them to pursue a noiseless (or non-polluting,) hobby. So far, we've endured round-the-clock "band practice" (he plays the drums,) his new dirt bike (endless revving and trips around the neighborhood, even though it's illegal to ride on the street,) the incessant barking of TWO Boxers, (they bought another as a "friend" for the first one, then ignored them both,) and his favorite and very special hobby, Cuban cigars. (When houses are close together, one gets a houseful of cigar smoke, whether or not one enjoys that kind of thing.)

We enjoy having people over; we most likely have guests a couple of times per month. We try to be considerate. There is a large turnaround in front of these homes; those visiting are allowed to park in the turnaround. We don't impede their driveway or cause any other problems. We haven't received one complaint from the two neighbors on either side of this couple. We're not loud. We don't have people over at hours that would be problematic for other adults. At the same time, it seems to be quite upsetting to the couple next door that anyone chooses to come to our home, judging by the number of complaints we receive from them whenever we have guests. Guests can't park on the curb in front of their home. Guests can't park on the curb in front of OUR home. There isn't enough room for the dirt bike trailer. On and on and on and on. They, on the other hand, pull both their vehicles into the turnaround every Saturday, effectively blocking the entire drive-through for every neighbor living here, for the entire day.

Last night, their truck alarm went off at 2:00 AM. We live in a very low-crime rural area; their bedroom is in the back of the house. Ours is in the front. We were treated to an alarm set to "shatter" for the better part of half an hour till the male of the household awoke, determined that there was no crime being committed, and turned off his alarm.

We're moving to our back bedroom today; thank God we have one.

If you were in our shoes, what would you do? Discussions and reasoning don't work with either of these people. His father is an attorney, so bear in mind that the usual stuff will most likely buy us some sort of lawsuit.

We're mystified.

Julie
edited after Oscar lay down on the keyboard...

[theivoryqueen]

1. this is a tough situation

do you have a homeowners or neighborhood association that handles resident disputes? You could try talking to them, but they sound like the kind of boors who don't respect anyones' rights except their own. I agree that initiating a lawsuit over these seemingly minor complaints would be expensive and messy. These issues might seem small compared to other problems, but they are obviously a quality of life issue to your family.

[Missy Vixen]

8. Thanks, Ivory Queen

>These issues might seem small compared to other problems, but they are obviously a quality of life issue to your family.<

We don't have a homeowner's. There was one when we bought a few years back; some of the homeowners don't want to pay $15 per month to engage a professional landscaper to maintain the common areas, so the former officers let it lapse.

I talked this over with a friend who's an attorney, he's directing us on to another attorney who might be a little more help. We don't want to sue, but we would love to know what our rights are re: the "quiet enjoyment" of our home and our property...

Julie

[boneygrey]

2. Tough position

You said you have talked to them about the problem and to no avail? I don't know what reaction this might provoke, but you might condiser calling the police the next time they get out of hand. A less drastic measure might be to call the police and ask them their opinion of what you should do. Good luck.

[Missy Vixen]

13. The cops

>A less drastic measure might be to call the police and ask them their opinion of what you should do. Good luck.<

Interestingly enough, the local gendarmes have gotten a bellyful from some of the other neighbors on the drumming and the dirt bike. This guy is so brazen (and so clever,) that he rides his dirt bike for ten-twenty minutes or so -- just enough time to rev, rev, rev it up, drive around a few times, then quickly put it in the garage before the cops arrive, having been summoned by other neighbors. He then brings the bike out again when the coast is clear. We live in a small town; the police are usually much too busy to "lie in wait" for him to do it again.

One of our officers recently told me that the entire department knows about our neighbor due to the sheer number of complaints from different homes in the neighborhood.

Julie

[boneygrey]

16. Damn

Those people ARE asses. Best of luck. Maybe videotape them?

[flamingyouth]

3. Homeowners Association?

This sounds like a nightmare. We had a woman from Hell on the floor of our condo a few years ago. Finally, she just moved out, but another equally annoying person came in her place (a la Medusa).

You say that discussion and reasoning doesn't work - I assume you've suggested specific times when they can be asinine and loud, and other times when the rest of you can live in peace?

Regarding the parking issues, I would contact the city on that trailer. It might not be legal for more than 24 hours, depending on where you live.

Good luck to you ... I feel weary just reading this post...

[DulceDecorum]

4. Oh dear

Neighbours From Hell in Britain
might be able to help,
http://www.nfh.org.uk/

before you start getting advice like this:
http://www.sherlockat.com/earlier_problem_6.html

[Missy Vixen]

10. Neighbours From Hell

>Neighbours From Hell in Britain might be able to help<

Actually, there were great stories there, and some very good suggestions. Thank you for suggesting it!

Julie

[Champion Jack]

5. Move to a much more rural area

try to get at least 20 acres, and make sure that the nearest humans are at LEAST 1/2 mile away.

[soupkitchen]

6. Go Postal

[damnraddem]

7. Sounds like it's time for a ...

boxer rebellion.

[Missy Vixen]

9. LOL, damnraddem!

>boxer rebellion<

Power to the puppies! ;-)

They really are nice dogs. They just want a bit of attention.

Julie

[JackDaniel1216]

11. try sending.....

the mormon missionaries to their house. That usually makes people want to move quick! j\k

[Blue-Jay]

12. Maybe Night Train could write a letter to them.

I dunno. I have terrible neighbors whom I despise. The best thing about the winter is that I can't hear them as well.

[ProudGerman]

14. Neighbors are monsters, eh?

Well, I'm thinking old fashioned here. I see you, your family, and the rest of the neighborhood with pitchforks and torches.

When's the last time your town had a good stoning?

[Rabrrrrrr]

15. I read all the posts - and since the neighbors are also complaining

to the cops, sounds like you are all of a like mind.

Set up a meeting for all the neighbors (but not your loud bastard neighbor) and come up with a plan together - since you all think he's obnoxious, you should be able to do so.

I'm thinking something like you plan that, on consecutive nights, you will go voer to his one by one and talk with him, let him know his noise is too loud yada yada yada, and that you have in the past called the cops on him. Tell him that gosh, you just don't want to do that any more.

After he gets a visit one visist from on neighbor each night for a week, it might start to sink in.

And if still doesn't work, then bring in a policeman - let them know what's happening, and let him know that you are going to write a letter as a group and deliver it to the guy. A couple days after you're sure he has the letter, ALL of you show up en masse, along with the policeman, at his house, and tell him you've had it.

I should think the police of most any town would be happy as a clam to have a patrolman (or two) help you out with it. It saves them time from having to address random complaints all the time, etc., if it can solve the situation.

And if it doesn't, then you have to get your community together and sue the idiot to leave the neighborhood, or otherwise find some way, as a group, to make living there a total hell for the guy - real passive agressive and also satyagraha stuff: park your cars in front of his driveway, set up your halogen lights so they shine into his home, constantly call his home when he's being obnoxious, send him letters, knock on his door every time he's out of line, yell at him, "Hey - keep your noise down!" every time you see him outside, whether he's being noisy or not. Just let him know he's not wanted. he'll eventually sell.

[boneygrey]

17. Great idea

[TreasonousBastard]

19. Power en masse...

sure beats just burning his house down or putting piano wire across the street when he runs the dirtbike.

It's not always easy to get everyone on board-- too many don't weant to "get involved," but working together is still the best way.

(A dead fish nailed on the front door gets their attention, btw, and is easier to find than a horse's head.)

[Blue-Jay]

18. A word to the wise:

Never underestimate the value of a flaming shit sack on the neighbor's porch.

<PSA> The more you know....