Check out these Creation Science fair projects

[Cloud]

At first I was laughing, then after reading them I am concerned for those poor kids. They are being denied a proper education. One project really ticked me off. It was the project about God's purpose for women.

Here is a tidbit from the project.

"physics shows that women have a lower center of gravity than men, making them more suited to carrying groceries and laundry baskets"

Unfrigginbelievable. I always bring in the groceries for my mom and help with the chores around the house.

I have no problem with parents teaching their children religious beliefs but this is denying them a proper education. If you want to see something just as outrageous click on the God bless the USA image on the left.

http://objective.jesussave.us/creationsciencefair.html

[DrWeird]

1. I think parodies belong in the lounge.

This is a good one, though.

[travisleit01]

2. My favorite...

1st Place: "My Uncle Is A Man Named Steve (Not A Monkey)"


Cassidy Turnbull (grade 5) presented her uncle, Steve. She also showed photographs of monkeys and invited fairgoers to note the differences between her uncle and the monkeys. She tried to feed her uncle bananas, but he declined to eat them. Cassidy has conclusively shown that her uncle is no monkey.

[El Mariachi]

3. oh my god

jesus friggin' christ

[Selwynn]

4. Please! Don't call it creation "science."

[Gman]

5. Unfriggin' believable

"Eileen Hyde and Lynda Morgan (grades 10 & 11) did a project showing how the power of prayer can unlock the latent genes in bacteria, allowing them to microevolve antibiotic resistance. Escherichia coli bacteria cultured in agar filled petri dishes were subjected to the antibiotics tetracycline and chlorotetracycline. The bacteria cultures were divided into two groups, one group (A) received prayer while the other (B) didn't. The prayer was as follows: "Dear Lord, please allow the bacteria in Group A to unlock the antibiotic-resistant genes that You saw fit to give them at the time of Creation. Amen." The process was repeated for five generations, with the prayer being given at the start of each generation. In the end, Group A was significantly more resistant than Group B to both antibiotics."

I'm sure Merck and the other pharmaceuticals have leaped on this in order to gouge old people out of more of their money while lobbying Congress to stop them from going to Canada and Mexico for their drugs.

This is child abuse in it's rawest form. These creationists may as well rape and abuse these kids for all the damage their doing.

[Cloud]

8. Yeah

I was laughing at first but then I feel horrible for those kids.

Might as well have a Sun goes around the Earth project.

[rogerashton]

6. check this one

http://objective.jesussave.us/shutdown.html

[maggrwaggr]

7. what's scary is that it's difficult to tell if it's a parody or not

It seems to be. But then ......

[HFishbine]

9. " I always bring in the groceries for my mom..."

And you don't tip over?

[arcane1]

10. oh my god did you see the band site?

http://objective.jesussave.us/zounds.html

if the song titles and pics don't kill you first, you'll love these lyrics:

In the suburbs of our town, there is a girl with a frown.
For her, Christ has no renown. Just a dude in a thorned crown.

Wacky, wacky Wicca chick.
Wacky! Wacky!
Her spells and charms are a trick.
Wacky, Wacky, Wacky!
Dabbles with the Satanic:
Tarot, ouija, and magick.
Wacky! Wacky! Wicca!

Mother Earth, Ishtar, Baal: yes, she claims to know them all.
Goes to a skyclad cabal, spends the Sabbat at the mall.

Wacky, wacky Wicca chick.
Wacky! Wacky!
Weirder than a Catholic.
Wacky, Wacky, Wacky!
Her "Blessed Be"'s just a shtick.
Her other car's a broomstick.
Wacky! Wacky! Wicca!

(Bass solo)

Her religion is a mess. She worships some strange Goddess.
But the Lord don't wear a dress. Now her soul is in distress.

Wacky, wacky Wicca chick.
Wacky! Wacky!
Ambiguously sapphic.
Wacky, Wacky, Wacky!
Heaven or Hell, gotta' pick.
Christ'll be back... Quick! Quick! Quick!
Wacky! Wacky! Wicca!

Wacky! Wacky! Wicca!
Wacky!
Wacky!
Wacky!
Wacky!
Wacky! Wacky! Wicca!



and remember:

Zounds abstinence shorts, now available!

[DrWeird]

11. ambiguously sapphic

That's a good one. :smoke:

[arcane1]

13. there is just too much here

"Rapture Rave" at the Wilthrope Grange, third Friday of every month. Starts at 10:00PM. Stay late, pray great! (Glow stick crosses available at the door.)


LOL!!!!!

[Kolesar]

12. SCIENCE FAIR CREATION SCIENCE TOPICS

http://www.tccsa.tc/adventure/fair_ideas.html

2. How many shades of skin color are there? Use a paint scanner to test 100 people.

You boys play nice!

3. Make a computer model of the Flood currents.

Too bad there is no data!

4. Statistical occurrence of giants, and midgets and dwarfs and giantism. Use Princess Flo, Goliath, and brothers.

I thought Flo was the waitress at Stuckey's.

5. What can we learn from the Amish blood disease and sixth finger? Compare this to the half Jewish Samaritans. (Bob Helfinstine may have info on this).

What can we learn besides "leave yer cousin alone"?

6. Build and run studies on a strata forming wave tank. This would confirm or disprove strata are all laid down at the same time.

Next week, we will build a box-girder bridge!

7. Does Tanning leather affect C14 content and date?

All that data from the tanned leather from the Quatenary epoch would thus be invalid.

8. How much voltage or current can a human take before he is killed? Could do experiments on a plant.

A plant? Well, teacher, what can I test to get extra credit?

9. How much electricity does an eel put out?

I am still working on "how much wood can a woodchuck chuck"

10. What was life like before the Flood?

Uh, isn't that in the Gospel or something?

11. Make an experiment to show how Boyle's law applies to nebula.

Give me 5 graduate assistants and a fellowship.

12. Trilobites prove Noah's flood because they are curled up or not?

What? They got bounced around in the current?

14. Can salt water and fresh water fish live in the same water or not?

Sure, "salt water" just refers to the type of beverage you have with your fish dinner.

15. How long can flies survive freezing in a frig?

Plenty of roaches lived there back in the double-wide in Fayetteville!

18. Is intelligence influenced by physical attributes. i.e. are blondes "dumb" or does skin color influence intelligence?

See #2

19. Can a dog run a maze faster than a gerbil?

Is the gerbil the bait for him?

22. Could a person function without thumbs? or What would it be like to not have thumbs?

What the hell are you Christians planning?!!!

78. What is rubber made out of?

See #5

[BlueEyedSon]

17. Proof that truth (a real web site) is stranger than fiction (the satire).

nt

[Bossy Monkey]

14. Yeah, this is our friends at Landover, pretending to be trying to

shut down Landover. This came up a few months ago, and we were trying to figure out if it was a parody or not. You have to look at the staff bios to find out for sure. Our favorite? "Diamond" Jack Holgroth:
http://objective.jesussave.us/members.html#JHOLGROTH
I understand the passages from scripture that they choose (for their bios) are rather revealing as well.

One of the best parodies ever!

[TreasonousBastard]

19. There is no "Fellowship University"

Did you check out the "Kyle Goldman" homepage with this on it:




And, of course, there's that thong again in the store.

Some people have far too much time on their hands.


(and that's probably a good thing)

[Capn Sunshine]

20. This guy would be GREAT at Parties!

"Jack also enjoys vexillology and can signal Bible passages from memory in fluent semaphore."

[SoCalDem]

15. Where's the diorama with Jesus & his pet dinosaur??

:(

[BlueEyedSon]

16. Proposed US Flag Redesign

Are we doing enough to make it visually clear that we are a Godly nation?



ROTFLMAO!!

[BlueEyedSon]

18. This pretty much sums it up......