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Help me to resist. I want to send a snarky email to an employer.

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seaglass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-03-06 11:18 AM
Original message
Help me to resist. I want to send a snarky email to an employer.
I am so mad about not getting a job and really mad at the feeble platitudes that were used to cushion the blow (all this was via email). I really want to write an email back letting them know that NO, keeping my resume on file will serve no purpose because if you couldn't figure out this job was a perfect fit for me you'll never be able to figure out what other position would be and NO, I wasn't still in the running last week because I never even met the HIRING MANAGER.

I would say it a little bit more politely than that. I know this is against the rules but I am so sick of playing nice and I really want to call them on their bullshit (and yes, I'm sure the response to the email would be - Thank God we didn't hire HER).

I am so angry and frustrated right now that it's making me ill and I don't know what to do.

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Lavender Brown Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-03-06 11:26 AM
Response to Original message
1. It's bad to burn bridges like that...
Edited on Mon Apr-03-06 11:27 AM by Lavender Brown
they really might call you again. I've been called by an employer that initially didn't hire me, to consider another job there (after I'd already taken a job somewhere else, of course). Though I totally understand your frustration with their crap. In the past year I've gone on more interviews than I can remember. :hug:
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StopTheMorans Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-03-06 12:34 PM
Response to Reply #1
12. that's hooey, bridges were made to be burned
Edited on Mon Apr-03-06 12:36 PM by StopTheMorans
when I left (amicably) my last job 3 months ago, I asked my boss to keep it quiet. 15 minutes before I left, a girl I'd worked with for 3 years saw me walking past her office tossing a softball up and down, and said "hey StopTheMorans, are you playing spring softball this year?" to which I replied "I don't think so, Esteemed Colleague." The only problem with things like that is wondering how the person found out that you never told them you were leaving, which would be the really amusing part :shrug:
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Lavender Brown Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-03-06 01:18 PM
Response to Reply #12
13. You're evil
:P When I left my job, everyone knew I was leaving, even the doorman of the office building found out. Didn't they throw you a going away party? :shrug:
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StopTheMorans Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-04-06 12:52 PM
Response to Reply #13
17. they wanted to, but i told them that i didn't want one
i had all of my bases covered :D

:evilgrin:
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L A Woman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-03-06 11:32 AM
Response to Original message
2. write it...and then throw it away. n/t
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Blue-Jay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-03-06 11:36 AM
Response to Reply #2
3. Very good advice.
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nini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-03-06 11:37 AM
Response to Original message
4. What do you want them to say?
You weren't as good as the the person that got that job? Buck up.. and move on.

Rejection sucks but if you're on the other end of hiring you may understand this better. I have interviewed people I just adored, BUT for whatever reason they weren't the right fit. I hated it but it's part of the process.


If it'll make you feel better, write the letter - then throw it away.

Take your user name to heart and let your hope live on. Otherwise you're going to let outside forces eat you alive.

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seaglass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-03-06 12:07 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. Be honest, tell me the reason(s) I didn't get the job. I know
it wasn't qualifications or experience. I also know they don't owe me anything and I understand common courtesy is a thing of the past.

Unfortunately, hope as far as being able to get a well paying job is gone, this was a unique opportunity - the type of job that is not posted externally.

I'm not going to write the letter, mainly because I know the HR Director and I don't want to make her feel bad (even though honesty would have been better) and one of my references put himself out for me with the CFO and I wouldn't want to embarass him.
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Nicholas D Wolfwood Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-03-06 12:09 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. They can't tell you reasons.
They'd possibly be giving you a reason to sue them for discrimination one way or another.

Still, I'm with you - I'd rather just get a "Thanks, but no thanks" and leave it at that.
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seaglass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-03-06 12:28 PM
Response to Reply #7
9. Yeah, if it was the age thing I can understand that they
wouldn't tell me - the other reasons, salary, didn't like me, bad interview, bad suit, too much makeup, employment gap, whatever - I think they would have been pretty safe in telling me.
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Nicholas D Wolfwood Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-03-06 12:32 PM
Response to Reply #9
11. It's a "cover your ass" thing.
They don't want to get into details, knowing ANYTHING they say might turn into a lawsuit, no matter how safe it may seem.
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nini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-03-06 01:40 PM
Response to Reply #5
14. If you know the HR director - ask for constructive criticism
See if there was something in the interview you could improve on etc.. Try to engage them in dialog that can help you moving forward.


As another poster stated they have to be careful how the convey info if you don't get a job. Same reason why employers won't give a reference for former employees other than confirming they worked for them and if they're eligible for re-hire.

Again.. don't give up. You never know what's around the corner :D

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seaglass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-03-06 02:22 PM
Response to Reply #14
15. I think I'm done communicating with her. I sent her an email
thanking her for letting me know about the decision and left it at that. She had her chance to be honest with me and she wasn't, not necessarily her fault.

Anyway...I'm moving on, still pissed off, but at least now that I have "closure" I can finish the 7 weeks of menatal torture.
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Jade Fox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-03-06 12:09 PM
Response to Original message
6. Don't do it.....
I sympathize completely, but you're quite likely to regret it if you do. Take it from one who's been down that road more that I care to remember. :(

People don't hire well, in my experience. Their reasons are usually not rational. My current supervisor is barely able to write a conherent sentence, is IMO suffering from Narrcissitic Personality Disorder, is one of the most boundary-free individuals I have ever met, and to top it off she has cronic bad breath! But she was hired personally by my boss, who promotes everyone she has hired. :eyes:
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petronius Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-03-06 12:15 PM
Response to Original message
8. I wouldn't write it...
There's little chance that it would convince them to provide you with more honest feedback, and you have no idea who else these people know - they could badmouth you to future employers...

The only purpose this would serve would be to relieve your own frustration - there are probably ways to do that which don't potentially burn bridges (whiskey, bubble bath, punching bag, what ever works for you...)

Sorry you didn't get the job - that definitely sucks... However, if they can't tell that you're the right person than they're probably too frustratingly dimwitted to work with/for, anyway. (I hope that wasn't the feeble platitude that sends you over the edge... :))
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seaglass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-03-06 12:31 PM
Response to Reply #8
10. Yes, I reconsidered it. I know the HR Director and I don't want
to make her feel bad and I'm sure she wouldn't want to say something if it would hurt my feelings and it was something I couldn't change.
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philosophie_en_rose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-03-06 02:31 PM
Response to Original message
16. Write it and share it with us.
The HR person probably doesn't won't care or change. However, it is healthy to write out your feelings and share them.
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