Calif. teacher blows hand off trying to squash bug with artillery shell

[quaoar]

http://www.canada.com/topics/news/oddities/story.html?id=629d1d2c-96f0-4aef-95b3-f8ca5a28813d&k=56154

VENTURA, Calif. (AP) - A teacher who kept a 40-mm artillery shell on his desk as a paperweight blew off part of his hand when he apparently used the ammunition to try and squash a bug, authorities say.

The 13-centimetre-long shell exploded Monday while Robert Colla was teaching 20 to 25 students at an adult education class.

Part of Colla's right hand was severed and he suffered severe burns and minor shrapnel wounds to his forearms and torso, fire Capt. Tom Weinell said. No one else was injured. He was reported in stable condition at a hospital.

The teacher slammed the shell down in an attempt to kill something that was buzzing or crawling across the desk, said Fire Marshal Glen Albright.

[JohnLocke]

1. Darwin Award candidate?

[quaoar]

8. I'm not sure

but I think you have to actually die to win the coveted Darwin Award.

[jukes]

36. "honorary mention"

if you render yourself so unattractive as to be unlikely to breed. 'course, he cd claim he was "WIA" y buy some real soldier's purple heart from a pawnshop...

40 mikemikes were common in mech units in NAM, may still be in use. cd have been brought back from any of our numerous imperialstic wars; wd have to be deactivated to be legal.

[Tesha]

38. You don't have to actually die but...

You don't have to actually die; you can win the award simply
by being rendered unable to reproduce.

Common Darwin award prelude: "Hey, watch this!"

Tesha

[Xeric]

not quite

I think you have to be dead to get a Darwin Award but it was a nice try. Don't count the guy out yet.

[barb162]

11. I think so...definitely

That in a classroom? And what would have made him think it was deactivated?

[skooooo]

28. i agree

[sce56]

22. You have to either die or become sterile from your actions!

Like cut off your nuts off or something similar, hence forth you can no longer continue your blood line! Survival of the fittest!

Of course the teacher must have been a DUD since he kept one for awhile! Of course in the military you know not to trust a dud since you never know when it might actually work!

[Botany]

2. Darwin Lives

[Teaser]

3. Why the fuck

is he using an artillery shell, a LIVE artillery shell as a paperweight?

I have a hard time feeling sympathy for this.

[quaoar]

5. He supposedly found it while hunting

and didn't think it was a live shell.

[MADem]

15. A chickenhawk, perhaps...one of those idiots who frequents the

Army-Navy store, and peruses the military memorabilia tables at swap meets? One of those people who support the military, so long as they are cheerleading from the sidelines? The old "if you won't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter" mindset??

Hell, now he'll likely run round telling strangers that he lost the hand in a firefight in 'Nam, or EyeRack....

[MercutioATC]

4. Live ammo in a classroom...nice...

:eyes:

[benburch]

6. The stupidity is just amazing.

Why WOULDN'T you assume it was a live round?

And you know, all ammunition grows increasingly unstable with age.

[barb162]

13. And just think, this guy is teaching? mmmmmmm

[barb162]

7. ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

[struggle4progress]

9. Chimney-Cleaning Grenade

http://www.darwinawards.com/

[NIGHT TRIPPER]

10. the poor bug!

[Viva_La_Revolution]

12. this asshole had a live artillery shell on his desk?

AND he tried to squash a bug with it?! OMG

how much ya wanna bet he hangs out on FR in his free time?

[quaoar]

17. Good thing he didn't try to sit on it

Then it would have been a weapon of ass destruction.

[Viva_La_Revolution]

21. lol!

:spank:

[northofdenali]

24. Got me with that one.....

:rofl::spank::rofl:

[Journeyman]

14. Did he get the bug? . . .

There's an opening for a "Bugman" in Congress. He's definitely got the stupid hammer trick down pat. . .

[rpannier]

16. Gimme an M-O-R-O-N

n/t

[Selatius]

18. This almost sounds like a Bugs Bunny cartoon. n/t

[quaoar]

19. Or Wile E. Coyote

Acme Artillery Shells

[corporatemedia]

20. They didn't learn their lesson when they disbanded the Iraqi Army...

so they also disbanded the Orkin Army.

http://www.hatelabs.com/news/news.shtml

This "teacher" was obviously a former member of the Orkin Army!

[gumby]

23. Adult education?

I bet none of those 'adults' knew what to do in this situation of an exploded idiot.

Wanna bet? (unles there was an adult medically certified person there)

Some education!

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

25. So...under zero tolerance laws a kid can't bring a plastic butterknife

to school without getting expelled but some armpit whiffing testosterone overdosed teacher can keep a live artillery shell on his desk? :freak:

edited to note he was an adult education teacher...but that scares me worse! :scared:

[CanuckAmok]

26. So I assume it wasn't a physics or a chemistry class?

[Robeson]

27. And this guy is "educating" people....

...the irony is amazing.

[bdot]

29. Bug 1 - Teacher 0

[Ariana Celeste]

30. Awesome.

I hate bugs, but damn. Not *that* much. :eyes:

[AtomicKitten]

31. I know I'm evil

but I heard this when I was waiting in my car today and burst out laughing.

I'm sorry.

[In_The_Wind]

32. Proving once again War Is Dangerous To Your Health.

I guess he didn't know that munitions can become unstable with the passage of time.

[Kailassa]

33. A parable for American Terra War strategy?

There is just one thing missing.

In a real parable the grenade would to make the bug instantly reproduce,
sending a thousand deadly offspring scurrying away.

[riona]

34. "ATTEMPTED TO KILL"........?

so the insect lived????????
:rofl:

[xchrom]

35. damn it! some kids get all the fun!

can you imagine?

[Heidi]

37. Kids get expelled for pointing a chicken nuggets at other kids,

and this teacher had a live round sitting on his desk? Kids get expelled for carrying Swiss Army knives in their pockets, and this doofus is killing bugs with a 40-mm artillery shell? :wtf:

[sarge43]

39. WFT was he doing with an artillery shell

in a class room??!! WFT was he thinking?!

Yo Colla, I know this is horse and barn door now, but munitions have one purpose -- killing people and breaking things and they'll wait years, decades, to do it. Until an EOD type strips them down to their skins, you freakin' stay out of their ZTD. Unless, of course, you're being paid minimum wage by Uncle Suggie to play with them.

You are damn lucky to be alive, asshole.

[oneighty]

40. I was EOD

During renovation of Fort Sumter in late the fifties a Chief and I were assigned to remove the black powder from cannon balls discovered while removing the top layer of earth. We set up an elaborate system of rope pulleys and mirrors so a drill press could be controlled from a safe distance. Water was continuously flowed over the drill bit while drilling into the cannon ball. Even so on our first try we smelled powder burning. We became very fleet of feet.

180

[sarge43]

41. Hand salute, 180

My spousal unit was in mun maint for 20. He said he helped out on a couple of EOD ops. "They were a couple too many." His other fave aphorism, "You never really get good at working with that shit. The millionth one you work on can kill you just as easily as the first."

Unless they know exactly what they're doing, people should stay way far away from those things; they're bad news.