Help! Need advise for my daughter, the bartender.

[WhoDoYouTrust]

She just called me very upset. A lesbian couple had been coming into the bar for a week. Last night another gay (male) couple came in with them. Her boss shit a brick! He told her that it was up to her (or else) to see that they do not come back. She was not to speak to them at all and was told to make them wait for service. She did not respond, just walked away.

She wanted to walk out, but she is a single mom with four kids. And, as you know, in this * economy, things are not so rosy for a different job.

She said, "Mom this is not me, or the way I was raised. What shall I do?" To tell you the truth, I didn't know what to tell her.

I'll be in and out and may not be able to respond until tomorrow, but any advise, would be appreciated!

Thanks!

[WritingIsMyReligion]

1. Shit. That really sucks.

What an ass the boss is.

I've got no advice, but here's a kick:

:kick:

[deadparrot]

2. Is her boss the bar's owner as well?

If not, and the owner is more liberal, maybe she could try talking to him/her...?

[WhoDoYouTrust]

5. Yes, he is the owner.

[Robb]

3. Tell her to flip a dime on the boss

She's got to. She'll not be satisfied 30 years from now with anything else.

And start looking for somewhere else. And tell her we're thinking of her.

[Oeditpus Rex]

4. She should serve them

as she'd serve anyone else.

If her asspipe of a boss fires her, she's got a hell of a lawsuit — one that'll probably make headlines. She'll be a hero and her boss a grade-A fuckstick.

Depending on where she lives, of course.

[jukes]

12. i agree, O'Rex

if she does get fired, she can collect unemployment till the next gig, and the homphobe might back down!

[skygazer]

6. Wow, that really sucks

Her boss is trying to force her to practice discrimination and essentially threatening her with losing her job if she doesn't. That's against the law. She should report him to whatever agency one reports such things to - I understand perfectly the need to keep a job when you have four kids to feed but I also know how hard it would be to live with myself if I allowed someone to force me into abandoning my ethics.

Good luck to her in whatever she does. :hug:

[WhoDoYouTrust]

7. What agency?

Not to divulge too much, but it is a small town in Oregon.

[skygazer]

8. Well, that's why I said "whatever agency"

I've never had to report an employer for shoddy business practices - I'm not sure who one would report him to. But I'd sure try to find out. There may be a legal aid agency that could help.

[Kire]

9. EEOC

Equal Employment Opportunity Commission

There should be a phone number on a bulletin board at the workplace.

[WhoDoYouTrust]

10. Thank you!

[Kire]

11. it will be very difficult to prove anything

without another very good witness or some other corroborating evidence

I tried to do this last year, but it didn't work, and I haven't had a job since.

[WhoDoYouTrust]

14. She said he would deny having said it.

He said it very discreetly.

Sorry to hear about you. Good luck!

[Kire]

20. That will be all he needs to do.

Say goodbye to this job.

[pitohui]

21. she can wear a voice activated tape recorder

they are really tiny now

this would be proof

[Kire]

22. she'll need a warrant

sorry

[greatauntoftriplets]

13. Civil Rights Act of 1965.

It is against the law not to serve people in a public place. Good luck to your daughter.

[WhoDoYouTrust]

15. He didn't tell her not to serve them.

Just take her time serving them and don't talk to them.

Thanks for the gl, GAT, I look forward to your posts.

[bridgit]

16. if she's mixing full bar, she needs a job in a classier joint imo...

[WhoDoYouTrust]

18. Boy, that's the truth!

The trouble is the small town. :(

[Fleshdancer]

17. if it were me....

I would just pretend I didn't hear/understand him and keep on doing my job the way I normally do. Obviously it's a very short term solution but it would buy me a little more time to figure what to do next. :shrug:

[Thtwudbeme]

19. I bartended in Oregon-

in small towns. I am a single female.

Check your PM.

If you are nervous about answering questions...there are many people here on DU who can vouch for me!

Stephanie

PS--I am very interested in this one. Not only is her clown of a boss breaking a law, but in Oregon, he CANNOT even think about threatening her job.