How I pirated a Bugs Bunny DVD and wound up doing Hard Time.

[Sugar Smack]

You can call me "Cherry".

My sad, sad story begins like any other. I was at work, and a co-worker and I became fixated on our favorite sketches from Bugs Bunny. If you don't know, CartoonNetwork has removed it from the Saturday morning lineup. I bought copies. Mainly for the historical spoofs and monster scenes. Plus, I like WB's take on the Barber of Seville.

Next morning, I hand my copy- the pirated one to "Barbara". I don't know WHY she did this, but she handed it over to the feds. I learned later it was retribution for having broken some bell curve at work. Plus, I'd quietly complained to someone about her using the public microwave for re-heating shrimp scampi.

My long walk down the prison to my room was interminable. 5 years was what the DVD said. 5 years of jail. I got catcalls, the worst was from a girl they called, "Sister". Sister had a long neck, a big ass, and eyes that killed. She was my roommate. She looked me up and down as though I was a pork cutlet. Sister said, "You tell me what you're doing here?"

Shyly, I squeaked, "I pirated a DVD of Bugs Bunny. What are you doing here?" I'd never been in trouble for anything other than breaking a glass window to save an overheated kitten. Sister shrugged, "I strangled my husband." She eyed me suspiciously. "C'mon, 'Bugs', tell me why you're REALLY here." A day of hazing passed quickly, and I don't care to remember the details. I blacked some of it out, this I know. Suddenly, Sister was giving me her portion of eggs at breakfast and sneaking me little packets of sugar. Everyone called me 'Bugs' and kept their distance. Then 'Martha' showed up and we became fast friends.

Martha and I were inseperable. We actually started to like prison and BAM, before you knew it, we were both released. I will never forget my days as 'Bugs'. I felt like a hero. Now if only Cartoon Network would stop dissing me.

love,
"Cherry"

[bridgit]

1. my empathy for your tale will be seen as legion...

but i will never again succumb to powered eggs again, due to many of the same, or like-minded experiences you've referred to here x(

[Sugar Smack]

2. Oh, NO!

Have you had a run-in with Sister? :scared: :hi: :hug:

Were you the girl in the corner slurping up ramen & broccoli? I wish I'd seen you sooner! :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[bridgit]

4. creamy chicken Raman w/one green chick pea on top...

i need to keep it simple; i like being able to remember where it was i came from wherever the hell that was :hug: i was the one on the upper tier laughing my ass off while cleaning under my tits, the day 'jenny from the block' chocked on her rock

that was worth whatever it was that dumb-ass judge was pontificating about at my sentencing :rofl:

[Sugar Smack]

9. What were you in for again? Illicit photo-taking?

:D :loveya:

[bridgit]

15. in a manner of speaking = hocking urology degrees printed at kinko's...

from the back seat of my sweet ride, who knew...well...i "knew", but i mean, you know...who knew :shrug:
:loveya:

[WCGreen]

8. What's up, Doc?

I did a stretch for ripping a tag offa mattress....

My first wife squeeled...

She ran away with Benny, the Mattress king....

STELLA!!!!!!

[Sugar Smack]

11. *AAAAAAAAAAAAAA*!

x( :rofl: :patriot:

[bridgit]

13. heehee, funny you should mention that; who could have thought...

hocking urology degrees printed at kinko's would be so complex, and they say i had no sense of humor :hi: :hug:

[In_The_Wind]

3. Hi Cherry!

Wanna a carrot to nibble on?

[Sugar Smack]

5. "Lacey!" I knew it was you. The kindest of all cons.

Gimme a hug! :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[In_The_Wind]

7. Oh Cherry Honey! Girl! We've got to stick together!

[no name no slogan]

6. OH, THE HUMANITY!!!!

:yourock: :*

[Sugar Smack]

10. I would not call it "humanity".

:rofl: :patriot:

[recoveringdittohed]

12. What a maroon

Ain't I a stinker.:silly:

[rockymountaindem]

14. Uh, what?

:wtf:

[Sugar Smack]

16. It's a made-up story.

Fiction!:D For levity.

[rockymountaindem]

19. I thought so

It would be a shame for one of our nice DUers to wind up in that situation!

[hfojvt]

24. Levity?

Who is this levity character, and why are you writing for him?

[Sugar Smack]

25. Geeze, how've you BEEN?

:hi: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya:

I missed you!

[hfojvt]

26. I have been in a nightmare

and I must still be dreaming. :hi:

[asthmaticeog]

17. Wait a minute - BUGS?

WE MET ON WOMENBEHINDBARS.COM! I was "HungSugarDaddy302" - you were supposed to meet up with me when you got out - what happened? Did you get all the money I sent? :cry:

[Sugar Smack]

18. We met on WOMENBEHINDBARS.COM b/c it was three

in the morning! If Buttercup didn't give you the memo, then Primordialbaby must have. I missed you. Dang, and I never got any money. }( :silly: :donut: :yoiks:

[Deja Q]

20. He sounds like a guy I'd want to know!

"HungSugarDaddy302"

[Sugar Smack]

21. He is. He's the "fixer".

:rofl: :patriot:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

22. Brilliant!

Can you make your voice sound like Bogie's female twin? :D

[Sugar Smack]

23. I'll try!

"It doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people doesn't add up to a hill of beans in this crazy world."


:D