Oh, dear lord, I just got the "Dr. Laura" treatment at work...

[eyesroll]

I went in to accounting to change my address, and the accounting manager asked how everything was going. (I just moved in with my SO, and it's going swimmingly.)

Another of my co-workers -- who to my knowledge isn't super-fundie or conservative or anything (I don't know much about her) asked how my SO's little one was taking it, as she heard me talking about her awhile back. I said, "she didn't like brushing her teeth in the kitchen (we didn't have a working bathroom sink until Monday) but otherwise she really likes the new place, and she was used to my presence at her old place anyway."

The co-worker then started in: "My parents divorced when I was a baby, and I've always resented them for remarrying. They tore my dreams apart, and I never felt like I was a priority to them. I can't imagine what someone so young thinks about living together, without even being married."

I didn't rush in with the defensiveness -- that this is a committed relationship, the child is not being raised to believe that living together is sinful or wrong, and that she's three and really doesn't have much of a concept of "divorce" and "remarriage" and all that -- but just stammered: "I beg your pardon?"

The co-worker: "Well, just be warned -- step-parenting isn't an easy task and I know you're enjoying the honeymoon phase now, but sooner or later she's going to realize you're not her mom, and it's not going to be pretty."

At that point, the (quite reasonable) accounting manager said, "CO-WORKER, I think I need your signature on an expense report; thank you for your update, Stacie" and I left the room.

I was too stunned for either "MYOB" or "STFU" to come out of my mouth...

[swag]

1. Wow, your workmates all sound so cool.

[eyesroll]

5. I don't know if it's short-timer disease or it's just gotten worse, but

I don't remember my workplace ever being this...weird.

I used to have fundie co-workers who were nice and (really) non-judgemental and fun to debate and who had good taste in restaurants.

[asthmaticeog]

2. When do you start school again?

If I were in your place, I'd be counting the fucking seconds. Yeesh.

[eyesroll]

7. I have a little teeny dot on my calendar for July 21.

It looks like an errant mark.

That's my targeted quit date. I'll have a few weeks off and then school.

[Magrittes Pipe]

3. What the FUCK?

If you don't mind my asking, who the hell said that? Or is it someone I haven't met?

Regardless, that is seriously fucked up.

[eyesroll]

6. Newbie.

She's in the revolving receptionist position, so she probably won't be here too long.

[Droopy]

4. Next time you see her

Smack her upside the head.

[realisticphish]

8. ah, pop psychology

"common knowledge" psych is almost universally wrong... and if it's right, it's only applicable to certain individuals and situations

[GoddessOfGuinness]

9. CoWorker needs counseling...

Re-read this comment:
"My parents divorced when I was a baby, and I've always resented them for remarrying. They tore my dreams apart, and I never felt like I was a priority to them. I can't imagine what someone so young thinks about living together, without even being married."

There was no need for you to feel defensive at all. CoWorker was using you as yet another opportunity to rehash his/her own adjustment difficulties in the same old unhealthy way s/he always has.

If this person does this again, I'd suggest an approach of sympathy. This poor person has been living with this hurt for years, and has refused to do address it and heal. Resentment never healed anybody. Let CoWorker know that you are sorry that s/he clings to this anger, which only makes him/her suffer more. Since s/he was clearly trying to make someone else (namely, you) feel bad with his/her pain; I don't think it's out-of-bounds to mention this in the most matter-of-fact way.

[AirmensMom]

10. Co-worker sounds a bit batty.

It's HER problem, not yours.

[Debi]

11. Well, you ARE going to hell for living in sin

What did you expect? Congratulations and acceptance?

:evilgrin:

[Beaverhausen]

12. It's about her, not you

Obviously co-worker has major issues and she was projecting them on you.

[Shine]

13. Sounds like she's just projecting her shitty experience onto you.

I wouldn't give it another thought. :hi: