Gals (and guys) i need your advice about a guy

[Ava]

i have a guy friend who i've been friends with for awhile. he and i have always had a good time together. he's a great person and he's one of the only democrats i know from around here. earlier this year there was a rumor going around in our friend group that he liked me "more than a friend" but he denied it. we hang out a lot together mostly with other friends, but lately he has been acting nervous around me and shy(which is completely not him.) tonight he asked me to go to the movies alone with him this weekend, which is unusual since we usually go with a group of friends. he said that he talked to his friends about it but that they were not able to come, but when i asked if i should ask some of my friends to come along he said no. am i just thinking about this the wrong way, or does he seem to like me "more than a friend"?


:shrug:

[begin_within]

1. Do you like him "more than a friend?"

[Ava]

2. i don't know. i think i might and if not i think i could

but i don't want to seem like an idiot by acting like the situation is more than it is. :shrug:

[ZombieNixon]

5. Well, if you're going to the movies alone with him,

just go and see what happens. My current SO is a long time friend and we just decided to take it to the next level since it was obvious there was something more. I mean, you're only like 15 or something, right? So, you've got plenty of time to learn how this kind of thing works. It doesn't ever really get any easier, so the more you get used to it, the better adjusted you will be.

[begin_within]

7. I think that you either feel that way about him or you don't. If you're

not sure, or you don't know, then you don't feel that way about him. You should not let it go any further in that direction, otherwise it could get all awkward and the friendship could be lost. Sorry to be blunt and unromatic, even cynical about it. If you don't feel that way about him, you should "nip it in the bud" and let him know you just want to be friends and that's all. Being completely honest will enhance the friendship part of it.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

24. I highly disagree with that

I received similar advice (and felt similarly) when I was in high school.

So I tended to avoid or ignore attentions from any girl who wasn't the main one that I had a crush on at the time.

This led to me having never, ever been on a date by the time I finished college. (N.B. I had tastes and aspirations that were way out of my league at the time.)

Eventually, I discovered that the entire purpose of dating was to decide whether or not you have those feelings or whether or not those feelings could possibly develop for said person.

Hence my advice: Don't avoid a casual date just because you're not 100% sure of your feelings. Just go and have fun.

[Jazz2006]

3. Sounds like a date to me :)

My two cents worth:

It sounds like a date to me but he may be just as unsure as you are about whether it's "more than friends" and just as unsure about whether it should be "more than friends" but there's no harm in going to a movie with him, to discuss, and to find out.

Either way, all the best!

[meegbear]

11. Sounds like it to me too ...

Hey go out and have fun, play it by ear and report back here - inquiring minds want to know.

[Robeson]

4. Go. Be yourself, and have a good time.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

6. My dear Ava........

It sounds to me as though he just might very well like you better than just a friend.....

By all means, go to the movies with him.....and BE YOURSELF!

See where it goes.....And have fun!

It is both scary and exciting to see yourself in a situation like this...

:loveya: :hug:

[Buddyblazon]

8. My present GF and I were close friends before we started....

dating. We met and became inseperable for about 6 months. Literally from day one. I was just getting out of a doomed relationship (she was Asian and her parents threatened to disown her) and she was getting out of a miserable dating situation herself. I developed feelings for her...as she did for me. Out of fear of getting hurt, we did nothing. But it took a night of drinking for us to finally...ahem..."get beyond the friendship".

In the end, it was fear of being rejected by the other that kept us from admitting that we wanted to be more than friends.

After that night, initially there was some trepidation. She said to me at one point, "I don't want to screw up our friendship with dating.".

To which I replied, "What. You wanna date someone you don't like?"

Last week marked 3 years together, we've lived together for the past 2 1/2 years and are making plans (though not formal) to start a family...with marriage in there somewhere. We've had our issues. But we've worked through them. And with each hurdle cleared, the relationship has emerged stronger. We both know that relationships require work.


I would certainly try to figure out if you like him enough to put your friendship in jeopardy. Because if you go beyond that line, it may indeed end the friendship for good if things don't work out (I feel that I have to be honest with you about this). But the positive way to look at it...nothing ventured, nothing gained. And remember, it requires work to have a strong relationship.

I can tell you, there's nothing like being in love with your friend.

Good luck.


On edit: I didn't realize you were so young. No drinking kiddo. That was bad advice. And a bad example.

[Ava]

9. thanks for the advice ya'll

goodnight :hi:

[jukes]

10. be ready for him to make a move.

also, remember that guy's get shy, too. try to make it easier, or make a move yourself.

lost opportunity is a sad thing, middle-age is full of regrets; and it ndnt be more than a momentary fling if you guys don't really hook up.

[RagingInMiami]

12. You need to meet him for drinks

Alone. In a place where you can sit next to each other at the bar rather than across from each other at a table. That way, after a few drink, you guys will be all over each other.

[Thtwudbeme]

13. Great advice for a teenager.

nt

[RagingInMiami]

15. I must of missed the part where she declared her age in the OP

[billyskank]

14. Sounds like he likes you

What happens next is probably up to you.

[Robb]

16. If he pours chocolate milk on you, it means he likes you

Sorry, I'm just trying to remember being that young. :hi:

[Ava]

18. LOL!

:rofl: i'm not THAT young. he is older than me though. :hi:

[AirmensMom]

17. Harleydad and I were friends for several months before we dated.

The nice thing about dating a friend is that you can talk with him better than you can talk with someone you just suddenly flipped over. So, go with him and keep the lines of communication open. It's sounding like he wants to be more than friends.

[WCGreen]

19. If he starts yawning....

then you'll know......

[_testify_]

20. teenage guys are INCAPABLE of liking a girl just as a friend

(unless they are gay of course).

They can BE great friends, but deep down inside they want more. Just sayin'.

Also, ten or 15 years from now, you will kick yourself for not giving him a chance. :)

[DrGonzoLives]

21. Do it and see what happens

n/t

[HEyHEY]

22. Just get drunk and forget about it

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

23. Do NOT play the "I don't want to ruin our friendship" card.

Your friendship is going to be changed one way or another if he has feelings for you. If you think you might reciprocate, there's no good reason not to give it a shot. :-)

[Ohio Joe]

25. Forget about him and come to Ohio :)

No, seriously. First decide if he is someone you really want to be with and if he is, tell him. Life is too short to hem and haw about it.