Weeks later, I can't bear to put away his dish.

[Robb]

My good boy's ashes are in a little box, in the drawer of my bedside table.

His sister still looks to me twice a day for kibble, and I give it to her. I know she sees my eyes when I just grab one of the bowls, hers, and leave her brother's there under the counter. Where it's still sitting.

I caught myself last week, talking to her as I always do at dinner time, saying "Here's a Bodhi scoop" (his name) instead of hers. There would always be a "Bodhi scoop" and a "Krishna scoop." I broke down in tears, and she waited.

When I vacuum up all the dog hair, I move both bowls. When I'm done, I put them both back.

I miss him. She does too. It's in her eyes. The same eyes that tell me she's there, and not going anywhere.

But she's waiting. Waiting for me to carry her brother back in the door like I took him out. Waiting. Watching the front door. Last week I bumped into the dog door, causing it to clack shut. And she sprang from where she was napping and ran to it, looking.

She looks to me, and can't understand. And I can't explain where her lifelong companion is.

She's waiting for me to do something. And I have no idea what.

[bridgit]

1. losing a dear & loved pet is a sorrow...

:cry: :hug:

[Left Is Write]

2. I'm sorry, Robb.

For you and for her.

:hug:

[Debi]

3. Oh, Robb

:hug:

[SeattleGirl]

4. I feel so sad for you and Krishna, Robb

And I understand exactly how you and she are feeling. When our previous dog had to be put down, I kept anticipating hearing Shadow's nails click-click-clicking on the other side of the door, as she pranced around waiting for me to unlock the door. To keep her out of the cat's food, we had a board going across the utility room, separating her area from the cat's. For over a month, I would step up as if to step over the board, though it was no longer there. The cat, for all that she didn't like the dog, still kept looking for her. So I do understand. It will get a little easier over time, not hurt as much.

In the meantime, :hug: :hug: :hug: for you and Krishna.

[AirmensMom]

5. Oh, I'm sorry, Robb.

:cry: I know it's hard. :hug:

[GoneOffShore]

6. It's been 3 years since our Mip died

And we still miss her.

I'm sorry for your loss.

[miss_american_pie]

7. I'm sorry

:hug:

[LynzM]

8. Love and hugs to you both, Robb

:hug: I hope that time will ease your pain a bit. :hug:

[Alleycat]

9. Your post just made me tear up

I'm so sorry for your pain and Krishna's. Nothing I can say will heal you or her. I have been in your situation on more then one occasion so I know your pain personally. Time helps. I now look back and remember the fun times, the love I remember them running and smiling. I don't focus on the end but the joy and love they brought me and when I do I smile and think they are still with me giving me the same joy they did when alive.

Yes I still have their collars, and bowls. I can't bring myself to ever get rid of them. I will probably keep them forever.

A big hug to both of you.

[u4ic]

10. I'm so sorry, Robb

Losing a beloved companion is so incredibly tough. It'll take time for the both of you...grieve at your own pace. :hug: Krishna is stunningly beautiful.

It's been 5 years since my bird died, and I still think of him often. He was such a wonderful character.

[Sugar Smack]

11. You don't have to put it away. Ever.

:hug: Leave it out. Everyone will know why. It's a reminder of your baby.

[radwriter0555]

12. Robb you DO have to tell her. Sit down and explain it to her in real words

and speech.

Just sit with her and talk to her and tell her. She will understand. You know she will.

Talk to her like you're talking to us here, and she'll understand. She needs to hear it as much as you need to say it.

She's waiting for you to talk to her.

Big, big hugs...

[SammyWinstonJack]

33. What a wonderful post!

:cry:

[radwriter0555]

38. I have no doubt our animal friends understand us when we speak to them

on their level, even if we're using our language....

No doubt whatsoever.

[bigwillq]

13. .....

:hug:

That's all I can offer. Hope it helps.
I am sorry for your loss.

He was a beautiful dog.

[Maddy McCall]

14. Don't know what I'd do if I lost one of my babies.

:hug:

[WillParkinson]

15. Rhob, I am so sorry...

Don't put the dish away. Take comfort in it, knowing that your friend had a happy life and that you were central to that happiness.

Don't try to rush through the grief because it won't work. Everyone heals at their own pace.

[RevCheesehead]

16. Grief is a hard thing.

I used to have to fill two glasses of water - one for Binky, who loves fresh from the tap water, and one for Roo, who used to bully his way to the first one poured. I still keep two glasses there. I also talk about him to his "sisters." Now I take comfort in knowing that Roo is with my Mom (or the other way around).

Lots of hugs to you. :hug::hug::hug:

[blondeatlast]

17. Robb, that was beautiful. Bodhi is still there and you both know that.

:hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

18. My dear Robb......

Be gentle with yourself......

It will be awhile before you stop grieving so much......

Let your tears heal you; let them wash away your sorrow.....



:hug:

[AtomicKitten]

19. Having the ashes helps somehow.

I have my dearly departed's ashes on my desk always. Unfortunately it also reminds me I will never see her again, but remembering is all we have and that has to be enough. Doesn't matter; wouldn't trade those precious and too few years for anything.

Best wishes to you and Krishna through this gut-wrenching process.

[ulysses]

20. oh, man.

I couldn't read the whole post. I've been there. Be well, Robb.

[serryjw]

21. Do you have a blanket or sweater

with his scent? maybe that would make her feel better? I am so sorry for both of you. I went through it last year. It's not easy.

[mdmc]

22. hang in there buddy

peace

[Catchawave]

23. Please let me share

Something that has always made me feel a little better:

http://www.eoneill.com/texts/blemie/contents.htm

:hug:

[havocmom]

24. Leave the dish out however long you need to.

Make a little offering now and then. Do a kind deed in rememberance of him and in his name.

They leave such a huge hole in our hearts. But at some point, we notice they are there, even when we cannot see them. Our hearts will confirm what our senses cannot.

The love does not die when the vessel breaks.

[Robb]

25. Heh. The "offerings" would get snaked, I'm sure

Thanks, everybody. We're workin' on it. :)

[woo me with science]

27. echoing this.

We lost a beloved dog over a year ago, and his dish is still in our dining room in the corner, along with a few pieces of rawhide he never finished.

About a month ago a stray dog followed our daughter home. We fed him using the bowl, and he helped himself to just one of the rawhide pieces. It was nice to have this welcoming place for him, and to remember the friend we loved so much.

We did find the stray's owner.

I am sorry for your loss.

[judaspriestess]

26. I'm so sorry

it will be one year next month that I lost my beloved kittyboy to cancer. I have his ashes in a beautiful urn and his picture next to it. I miss him terribly. But I also thank him for coming to me in a dream last July and told me to go to the shelter and get two lil kittens. They turned one sometime this month, we don't know their exact birthdate, they are a joy. I see my kittyboy in their silly lil personalities. I named them; kittybill (in dedication to kittyboy) and agatha.
they were rescued from the streets........ kittybill eats from kittyboys dish.

[jus_the_facts]

28. Damn..so sorry for your loss....

:cry:

[Zorra]

29. Aw, man, sorry about your friend. It's really hard to lose a dog,

especially one that's been with you for a long time.

I lost my best friend of 14 years awhile back, and still think about her a lot. And I can't get another dog because I travel too often.

Dogs are really special creatures.

[mdmc]

30. robb, my golden died on 12-13-2005. her bowl is still there

next to her sisters....:cry: peace and low stress

[BikeWriter]

31. Grief is a real pisser. Here's a hug for you 'n Krishna.

:hug:

[SammyWinstonJack]

32. !

:hug: I am about to lose my little Pomeranian and I know her sister will take it hard. My Roxie is very sick, enlarged heart and vaginal tumors, has weeks to live. She has a hard time breathing, her breath is labored most of the day. Her sister knows something is not right. Many :hug: to you and Krishna. Your Bodhi was a beautiful boy.

[astral]

34. I am so sorry, Robb

My mother had to put down her 16 year old husky yesterday. It was so sad. I can imagine her waking up every morning and then remembering her dog is gone. She lives near me so I got to go hang with her last night and had to listen to her tell me all about her last day with him there. My condolences. It will take time for your heart to finish saying goodbye.

[auntAgonist]

35. I don't know

what to say, I can't ease your pain. I do offer a :hug: to you though.


sincerely
aA
kesha.

[Dangerously Amused]

36. =sniff=

[DesEtoiles]

37. Just love her. Just lover her so much.

[liberaltrucker]

39. Our beloved kitty, Alex, died of cancer a year ago

Jade(his best friend and worst enemy-cat people understand that concept), still
sniffs around his favorite hideouts...and sometimes lets out a blood-curdling
MEEEOOOOWWWW. Jade is far more aware than we think.

Condolences.

:cry: