Well, I just cut her out of my life. Good night.

[ZombieNixon]

Eight years, down the drain. Congratulate me. Let's hope she gets the message, though I rather doubt it. I'm off to bed, in an effort to make the most of the coming week. It's gonna suck, but hopefully not as much as it could. :shrug:

Good night! :hi:

[JVS]

1. Ya did good! Keep on rocking in the free world!

[ZombieNixon]

4. God, I hope so. I feel terrible.

:cry:

[Haole Girl]

2. g'night...sleep tight....you know the rest. n/a

[ZombieNixon]

3. Well...it's night.

It still hurts, though. Now more than ever, knowing I actually *did* it. :cry:

[reyd reid reed]

5. Do you feel liberated?

Like you did something good and strong and positive?

I'm proud of you...

Good night.

[ZombieNixon]

7. I don't know.

I'm in tears, and I'm someone who never cries. :cry:

I just lost a longtime friend and I can't help feeling I could have gone about it differently. Why did I push her? She wasn't ready. :cry: Neither was I. :cry:

[reyd reid reed]

10. Eight years is a long time

And I'd be surprised (and a little concerned about you) if it didn't hurt. Of course it's hard but if it's the right thing to do, you've just gotta keep telling yourself that.

And be strong.

:hug:

[ZombieNixon]

12. I hope it was the right thing to do. I'm having second throughts already.

I deleted her from my AIM account, my MySpace and Facebook profiles and my phone, but I don't know how I'll ever get that normalcy back. This sucks. :(

[reyd reid reed]

16. It'll come

But I'm not going to fool you...it won't happen overnight. Second thoughts are perfectly normal. She was (and in a way, still is) a big part of your life. She was comfortable. But tell me, were you happy? Truly Happy?

Consistently...not every once in a while when things were going well, but consistently, even when things were shit?

In the end, you have to look out for you.

[ZombieNixon]

19. I don't know anymore.

I thought I was. And I loved her. I really did. But now I'm not certain about anything. I hate this. :( (yeah, I can't sleep)

[reyd reid reed]

22. It's gonna get better

You'll see. It will. Tomorrow the sun WILL come up and it'll be a little better. Then the next day, better still. Just go one day at a time, one step at a time. Don't expect too much, too soon.

Let yourself grieve. Let yourself heal.

[u4ic]

6. Good job, Zombie - good for you!

:thumbsup:

Stay strong.

nighty nite. :hi:

[ZombieNixon]

8. I hope I can.

I've never felt worse. :cry:

[deadparrot]

9. There you go.

I hope you get some peace from it all soon, ZN.

G'night. :)

[ZombieNixon]

11. Good night. I hope so too.

This weeks going to be a bitch to get over...she was supposed to come visit next Saturday. This couldn't have happened at a worse time. :cry:

Good night.

[LeftyMom]

13. I'm sorry.

:hug:

[ZombieNixon]

14. Me too...I think. I don't know.

:hug: Good night.

[barb162]

15. I hope you meet someone very soon

[SeattleGirl]

17. Sweetie, it's not totally down the drain.

I know it seems that way, and I've felt the same too. But after some time has passed, I hope you see that you have grown and learned from this, and that yes, to borrow a cliche, you are a better person. :hug:

And, you deserve better, too, sweets.

[ZombieNixon]

20. But I basically find that eight years of my life were wasted

in a friendship that ended in anger and heartbreak. This isn't how things like that are supposed to happen. :cry:

[SeattleGirl]

23. No, it's not, but it's how things do happen sometimes.

My point was not that this didn't hurt, or didn't bring out painful thoughts and feelings in you. My point was that you can do one of two things with it: you can wrap yourself in pain and become bitter, resentful, and isolate yourself from others. Or, after a period of time has passed where you can digest this, and start moving past it, you can learn from it, and grow from it, and be a stronger person for it.

[Robeson]

18. This, too, shall pass....

...but it want be easy.

"But, thou, Catullus, be thou resolute, and stern".

[ZombieNixon]

21. One can only hope so.

Love sucks. :grr: :cry:

[tjwmason]

24. You did what was necessary.

Which took emotional strength - you're feeling the backlash from it now, but it would have been much much worse in the long-run if you didn't take the step now.

I hope that you're managing to get some sleep. :hug:

[Random_Australian]

25. Godnight.

[ScreamingMeemie]

26. And we'll be here for you this week.

:hug: MrG had to do this once and he survived. You will too, it will just suck a bit in the meantime. Please take care.

[wildhorses]

27. ..............

:hug:




sorry to hear it....been there myself....hope it gets better for you

[Dangerously Amused]

28. Love sucks sometimes, yes, but...

You don't cheat on the people you love. Right? Maybe it was love up until the point where she started cheating on you, but... she took it in another direction once she started cheating.

Now, you wouldn't want her back if it meant she was still likely to cheat on you, so you know you made the right decision in this moment. You need time away - years maybe even - because she still has some lessons to learn. You don't want her back until she's learned them, so you will best serve your (joint) relationship by forcing her to accept the consequences of her actions and then learning those lessons and becoming a better person for it. In that sense, leaving her behind is actually the most considerate thing you can do for her because it is the only way she will learn from this experience and grow into a person you can trust. It is also the best way to honor your own integrity.

Eight years is a long time and I don't think you wasted those years. Honestly, I don't think this relationship is permanently over, due in large part to the eight year investment you both made. But I do think it is absolutely necessary at this point for you to take a serious break from the relationship, because it started heading down the wrong road. I think in time she will learn the lessons she needs to learn about honesty and respect and integrity, and then when you meet again she will (hopefully) have returned to the person you once knew and loved. Then you can pick up where you left off, if you want to. But right now trying to carry on with those issues left unresolved would be a mistake.

So I wrote all of this just to say that I think you made the right decision, and to explain why. And even though you probably knew all of this already before I told you, sometimes it helps to settle your mind when you hear it again from another person.

Hope this helped.

*Hugs*

[Mutley]

29. Our situations were apparently eerily similar.

I was with my ex for 8 years and he cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend. This was about a month ago. It does get better as time goes by, I promise. I still get lonely and upset, but I've realized at this point it was probably for the better. The cheating was just a symptom of a larger problem.

[jukes]

30. "well, no one told me about her

the way she lied
well, no one told me about her
how many people cried;
well, it's too late to say you're sorry,
how well i know, what do you care;
and it's too late to say you're sorry,
you're not there.

well, let me tell you 'bout the way she looks,
the way she laughs,
and the color of her hair;
her eyes were clear and bright,
her voice was soft and cool,
but she's not there..."

zombies, CA 1964

you loved what you thought was there, not the reality w/in this person. she lied. you loved the lie. now it's going to hurt till it heals.


but you've done the right thing. time to move on.

[bigwillq]

31. I think that was the best choice.

You're a young guy and you deserve better than her.
Yeah, it stinks right now. It's tough to lose someone you care about but time heals and I'm sure you will be able to successfully move on with your life.

All the best Zombie! :hi: :hug: