I'm glad I'm single.

[Deja Q]

No piddling relationship to be in.

No chance of making a mistake in it that would upset a partner.

No chance risking myself for my partner's covert infidelity or other bad habits.

Not that anybody wants me already; decades' worth of rejection and I was still too naive or too thick to see the reality of life.

I used to be pro-relationship, people need to work together to better each other, et al. But in this "society", people are out for themselves and fickle as hell. Hell, that little sow Britney Spears thinks it's all a game; gets a divorce after only 55 grueling hours of marriage.

What value are my beliefs when reality doesn't go in the same direction and never will because it's easier that way?

It's easier to walk away from people. Play games. It's all good and fun.

Self-interest is easier. No responsibility for other people, you can do what you want - even if it affects them, directly or otherwise. And nothing to share if you become successful. That's why we have prenuptial agreements; makes breaking out of these little annoyances such as relationships that much easier.

"Mine! Mine! Mine!" We're a nation of friggin' TODDLERS, no better than any corporation who sues everyone else while waving a big patent near their crotch to compensate for something that's exponentially smaller. And nearly 1 million illegal aliens proved that alone, even if it was just for one day. So forgive me my rants about that issue, but I now just discovered something: Americans are far more mindless petty selfish sheep than even I had been thinking. And it's people like them who hurt others as children... and they grow up to be broken adults. And that's another story for later...

[johnnie]

1. Relationships are over-rated

If you can't be happy being alone, you'll never be really happy with another person.

[Deja Q]

2. I will say this.

I'm happy and contented when I'm engaged in my petty hobbies.

But I do get lonely... but I'm also incompatible.

And your glib comment would be shattered by some of the stories I'd have to say... and, as I was told once before, those and others like them are a bit much for a public forum.

But I will condense it to this: If, as a child, people continually did cruel things to you, surely you wouldn't feel happy as an ostracized adult?

I'm content to be alone. But despite knowing that, I still feel empty. But I am an incongruity. Self-awareness is a good thing.

So don't give me the one-liner psychobabble garbage. Or else I'll go back in time and have done unto you what happened to me. Then your eyes really will open up. (hyperbole, yes, but that's how I feel.)

[johnnie]

3. Sorry about your childhood

As for my "psychobabble garbage" this has just been my experience. I have many friends who found someone that made them the "happiest they have ever been" and most of them are divorced. I also know people who are still married but miserable. There are a few people who are with someone and are happy, but they were happy to start with.

As for me, I had some shit happen to me as a child but that was a long time ago and many things have happened since then. I'm not trivializing whatever happened to you, but from what I see, you assume my childhood was just peachy. Maybe it was maybe it wasn't, honestly I don't look back on my childhood too much. I'm in my 40s now.

[Deja Q]

4. Childhood shapes in more than just conscious ways.

Of course, I like to pretend that because, otherwise, my diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome would have far more power over me. Even though that is a syndrome which explains a lot of my faults in life.

[johnnie]

5. Well HT, I for one think you are a pretty decent guy

I hope I didn't offend you or anything, I just have no problem being single and that is just how I felt.

[azmouse]

6. I like cake.

[Deja Q]

22. I'm a big twinkie. A twinkie is a form of cake...

The filling is even more fun!

[azmouse]

31. Believe it or not, I've never eaten a twinkie....

:popcorn: No pun intended.

[LeftyMom]

7. Yeah, but without a relationship

Who will perk you up when you're feeling miserable, or help you to feel attractive and loved on the days you don't see yourself that way? Who will take even your most esoteric interests as seriously as you do and listen to you and help you sort out your thoughts on matters that leave you confused? Who will answer the phone when you need to talk, even it's the middle of the night?

Sure there are times when it works and even days where it really sucks, but there's a hell of a lot of benefit to being in a relationship, too.

[devilgrrl]

9. That's why people get pets.

They don't care whether you're attractive, how you dress, what your hobbies are - they love you unconditionally regardless.

[Deja Q]

11. No, they just look to you for food and water, unconditionally.

Or in the case of fish, food and water changes.

[Duer 157099]

16. Uh oh...

"water changes"?

(my poor fish)

[LeftyMom]

12. Yeah, but they're not so great at the listening.

Not even "stop rubbing your ass on that" let alone anything that requires a real response. :)

[Deja Q]

10. Rub it in, my dear. Rub it in.

Don't you think I know all that already?

[LeftyMom]

13. I'm not rubbing it in,

I'm just saying that overall with the right person it is worthwhile and not to give up hope.

[Karenina]

15. But then you're stuck

looking outside yourself for validation of your needs. That "right person" is right so long as your agendas coincide. Stick your big toe out of the box and all bets are off.

[LeftyMom]

17. True to some degree

It really only works out well when people are self-contained adults who have thier shit reasonably together. People who aren't really happy with themselves try to patch up the holes in thier lives with relationships but it doesn't work that way.

[Deja Q]

19. Then there is no hope.

[LSK]

14. thats what the lounge is for

:P

[LeftyMom]

18. yeah, but when you rely on the lounge for sex the mods get mad. nt

[LSK]

20. theres a brazilian other sites for sex

:rofl:

[raccoon]

34. Agreed, LeftyMom, if it's a good relationship.

Seems like so many times, it starts off good and then...goes downhill.

I guess I've gotten pretty scared off relationships.

[devilgrrl]

8. You and me both...

I'm single, suck at relationships and in a weird way, probably better off for it.

[Blue_Tires]

21. eh....sleeping alone is overrated

and i speak from experience.....



OT, but love the sig photo!


"The ship.....out of danger?"

"....Yes"

[devilgrrl]

25. And sleeping with someone that treats you like a toy is even more so!

I speak from experience which precisely why I stay single! :grr:

[mdmc]

23. i used to work with at risk teens, so I know what your sayin

peace bro... peace and low stress...

[Deja Q]

24. Non sequitur

Life is stress
Peace is death

[mdmc]

26. how 'bout keep on keepin on!

enjoy your solitude. I am certain that some chick will eventually find you and blow your mind.

[Sugar Smack]

27. *Hoo, boy!*

:yoiks:

[no name no slogan]

28. dum-de-dum-de-dum...

:D

[Sugar Smack]

29. Hi, honey.

Let's just watch some movies. What would you like to see?

[AussieDave]

30. I'm not GLAD I'm single, but I'm content nonetheless

I simply haven't found the right person - if I never do, then so be it. Many people don't, for whatever reason. I view it as the luck of the draw.

Childhood influences DO shape one's adulthood, but it need not overwhelm it. I had a perfectly happy childhood - no major dramas, not the most popular kid at school, usually the last or second-last picked to be on "teams" in the playground. It bothered me at the time, but not any more.

You're quite right - it's far easier being single, and that's OK by me. My life is good right now - but of course would be even better if I could meet Mr. Right - he just hasn't revealed himself yet.....

[OrangeCountyDemocrat]

32. Needs Of The Many.....Outweigh The Needs Of The Few....Or The One

I agree with you. I also used to be very pro-relationship. Years of rejection, combined with watching my friends in either stagnant or unsatisfying relationships, where they always seemed resigned to being "whipped," have made me think it's better to be single and make my own way and decisions.

I've just never been able to find that Nice Jewish Lady who understands and appreciates me, and don't wish to continue wasting time searching and hoping. Makes me feel foolish and naive.

[Nikia]

33. If my husband left, I probably wouldn't partner again

I think that relationships work out for some people, but many people have boundary issues which usually developed in childhood or in other relationships. I know that I have boundary issues, which makes me unsuitable for a relationship. You might have boundary issues too.
I personally think the ideal relationship would involve my husband or partner and I lving together, perhaps having a child, having sex, but behaving like friends. When people put one person above all others, they expect more out of that person than other people. That expectation can be too much.