decoding Real Estate speak

[NMDemDist2]

so am I right by thinking the phrase "This house has a lot of character" is Real Estate speak for "This place is old and dirty" ??

:rofl:

[Left Is Write]

1. It means outdated or questionable decor, paneling on the walls...

and an overgrown backyard.

:D

[LeftyMom]

2. Oh good, now I know how to advertise this house when we sell.

'Cause yeah, it's all wood panel and mirrors. Very very 70's.

[NMDemDist2]

13. i had a house like that in Sacto

we just painted everything white

:rofl:

[NMDemDist2]

3. ROFL, well there's plenty of yard in 7 acres

and there is paneling in the very dark pictures and I can't see a freaking Dishwasher in the kitchen either

but 7 acres! that might hide a lot of sins.........

[Momgonepostal]

4. "great for commuters" or "easy freeway access" =

"right under an overpass"

[NMDemDist2]

5. LOL! I'm using that phrase on this house

and I'll have you know we are at least 200 yards from the freeway!!!

you can only hear the traffic at night!

:rofl:

[Scout1071]

35. I'm 30-40 ft.

I shat you not.

Looking for a new place now.

[Momgonepostal]

6. Possibly, or that's it's otherwise eccentricly decorated

Old World Charm might also mean old and dirty.

Character could mean purple paint and red carpet. :shrug:

[NMDemDist2]

7. well the one bedroom looks suspiously burgundy in one pic

so you may be on to something!

[Momgonepostal]

9. I really like colors on walls BUT...

have also seen some real estate ads with some really funky color choices. Sometimes the paint is just gorgeous and would be a real selling point for me, but other times I just think "eeeewww!"

[fudge stripe cookays]

16. You should have seen this one place...

I saw when I was looking in 2002.

Holy MOTHER I couldn't believe it....

One bedroom had the aqua and coral themed crap from the 80s "Southwestern" thing. Another bedroom was gold and olive wallpaper with horses' heads (YES, HORSES HEADS!). The one bathroom was deep red and green tartan plaid.

The kitchen had the cheesy old beaten up wooden cabinets with the 60s type pulls, and the awful sculpted molding...

This house should have been burned and the lot reused. It was THAT bad.

[NMDemDist2]

18. that sounds pretty dang bad for sure

I don't mind awful paint, but I hate wallpaper. It's so hard to remove and makes such a mess and takes so long

Throwing paint up is easy but wallpaper UGH!

but my first house had this ghastly wallpaper with HUGE yellow flowers on a kelly green background

I demo'd the whole thing and started over :rofl:

the only thing I saved was the cool deco style tub, everything else went including all the walls, the window, the toilet, the sink and vanity

nothing was worth saving in that mess

[fudge stripe cookays]

21. You know...

Throwing paint up sounds like a physical impossibility, but I might pay to see that!

:P

[NMDemDist2]

22. ....

:puke:

"Sedona Sand"




















:rofl:

[fudge stripe cookays]

26. Bwa ha!

Impressive!

:hi:
fsc

[Momgonepostal]

8. Another I like is "Handyman's special"

As in "with all the money you will spend making this place livable, the handyman you hire will feel special driving around in his new Mercedes, paid for by you and your house."

[NMDemDist2]

12. yeah, the place I'm looking at has no Dishwasher or even garbage

disposal!!

that's $1000 right there to install.....

[begin_within]

10. "Cozy" means tiny. "It won't last long" means it's about to collapse.

[NMDemDist2]

11. ROFL

"it's about to collapse"

:rofl:

[Gormy Cuss]

17. "cozy" means that when you turn around

your gluteus rubs the opposing wall.

[NMDemDist2]

19. that's more than "cozy", that's a "perfect dollhouse!"

:rofl:

[Gormy Cuss]

27. I stand corrected

or stooped and brushing the opposing wall as it were.
:rofl:

[NNadir]

14. That's one explanation. Another is that it is the site of a horrific

crime.

[NMDemDist2]

15. hmmmm, wonder if that's why they need an extra 30 days to move

and what's with that?? you want the escrow time AND an additional 30 days to move???

what a maroon!

[sendero]

20. Same for "has a lot of possibility"..

... yeah, but I was looking for some actuality :)

[LeftyMom]

23. That means it's a tear down. nt

[NMDemDist2]

24. my ex once told his brother he married me for my "potential"

any guess why he's now the "ex"


:evilgrin:

[Oeditpus Rex]

25. 'Fixer upper'

"Hauler offer."

[NMDemDist2]

28. expect to put every dime you saved on the selling price into upgrades

:sigh:


I hate househunting, packing, selling my house,

:argh:

[begin_within]

29. "Pride of Ownership Neighborhood" means your neighbors will sue you if

your dog takes a piss on their lawn and it turns into a brown, dry circle a week later.

[NMDemDist2]

34. we have lots of HOA here, luckily none where I'm moving n/t

[begin_within]

30. "Great Starter Home" means that the day you move in, you will be dreaming

of moving out of this godawful place.

[NMDemDist2]

32. cuz it's so small your 2 bedroom apartment furniture won't all fit

I know that one !!!

LOL

[begin_within]

31. "A great place to raise children" means there are 325 screaming kids

within a half-mile radius.

[NMDemDist2]

33. well....

I can pass on that one.....

[TreasonousBastard]

36. It could mean it's haunted...

buy the ghosts of the people the previous owner buried in the basement.

[begin_within]

37. Yeah... "Homeowners Association" means you are forced to pay each month

a ransom to a few middle-aged people who don't have jobs and have absolutely NO LIFE of their own and spend their time obsessing over your life, whether you have a shampoo bottle showing on the bathroom window sill, whether your front hedge encroaches a half inch over the sidewalk, creating an "obstruction," the dates and hours that you left your garage door open, etc. And then bring this up with you at the next monthly meeting.

[NMDemDist2]

38. ROFL, ain't it the truth?? n/t

[DancingBear]

39. "Just needs your special touch"

means "the jackasses who live here now wouldn't know taste if it bit them in the ass."

[NMDemDist2]

40. our RE guy came by yesterday and kept commenting on the Art work

how nice it was and how tasteful. he had a real surprised, wondering tone to his voice.

makes me wonder what he usually sees.....

:rofl:

[Orsino]

41. Well, that's the essence of my character, too. n/t