Literary insults. Pick a fave author, and reply with an insult he/she

[Aristus]

wrote.

Shakespeare is too easy, but go ahead if you want to; he wrote some good ones.

I'll start with Oscar Wilde:

"She was a curious woman, whose dresses always looked as if they had been designed in a rage and put on in a tempest." - from 'The Picture Of Dorian Gray'.

[Arkham House]

1. How about Dorothy Parker on Kate Hepburn:

"She ran the gamut of emotions from A to B"...

[Aristus]

2. Yeah, I've heard that one; I like it, even though I loved Kate Hepburn.

Nobody fucked with Dorothy Parker!

And I forgot to mention: It can be fiction or nonfiction, so thank you, Arkham House. B-)

[Arkham House]

3. You're welcome...and don't forget Henry James--

--claiming that Ulysses Grant disproved the theory of evolution all by himself...

[Aristus]

4. It looks like we're in this by ourselves, Arkham.

J.R.R. Tolkien, describing the fight of the trolls from "The Hobbit": 'Soon they were fighting like dogs, and calling one another all sorts of perfectly true and applicable names in very loud voices.'

[CaliforniaPeggy]

5. Ah, my dear Aristus.....

I'd play, but I just haven't got the energy to go looking tonight!

Sorry, sweetie! :pals:

[Arkham House]

6. One last one before bed...

...by Arthur Conan Doyle--and it's by Sherlock Holmes, to his faithful hound Watson, of all people...I *think* it's in "The Beryl Coronet", though I wouldn't swear to it... Anyway--when someone in the story makes a really stupid statement, Holmes says off-handedly to Watson, "my apologies, Watson. There are others"...a neat bit of suave brutality...

[asthmaticeog]

7. "Gun stripping is the tea ceremony of America" -- Steve Aylett

[Rowdyboy]

8. Harry Truman...."Richard Nixon is a no-good, lying bastard....

He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and even if he caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in."

H.L. Mencken..."The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal."

[Broken_Hero]

9. Stephen King!!!...

"Go fuck yourself"

"Ha, all your good for is turning food, into shit"....

...hehehe...:)

[Brigid]

10. Not exactly literary, but here's one:

"There is one way to determine if my nocturnal activities are a security risk, Ms. Kane. But somehow I think we would both prefer the torture." -- Jack Bristow, "Alias"