Rant: When you invite people to the beach. Why do they think for free?

[commander bunnypants]

Going to beach soon. The wife and I invited some folks and they get all bent out of shape cause we ask for a bit of money. Hells bells, it is an ocean front condo with a swimming pool. I dont think 25 bucks a night is unreasonable. Hell I am paying 800 for the week.

Cheap bastards

CB

[NorthernSpy]

1. I think it's because you *invited* them...

They probably got the impression that they were guests, not customers.


:think:

[commander bunnypants]

8. Flame suit on

x(

CB

[NorthernSpy]

10. not flaming you...

Just urging you to rethink some questionable hospitality choices.

[commander bunnypants]

11. maybe a question of semantics and wording.

growing up it was the unspoken rule that everyone chipped in

CB

[Radio_Lady]

34. "Some folks" -- are they relatives or friends or what? Have you had

them over before? It sounds like the rule was not exactly a rule.

Besides that, rules have to be spoken.

When we invite friends or relatives to stay with us, they know we are providing the space only for free. We frequently fill up the refrigerator before our guests arrive, and pick them up at the airport. Then we have a few dinners out during the week and other recreational activities (aquarium, zoo, other sites) for the length of the stay.

Usually, we are paid back for the food that we bought, and/or the other folks pick up incidentals or we split the cost of the dinners out. That might be for a total of eight people (six adults and two children) in Hawaii for a week.

It does work out, but we did have to discuss it initially or it could get to be a sticky issue if you just let it hang out there.

[RebelOne]

2. Actually, when you "invite" someone, I don't think

they should pay. If you invite someone to your house, do you think you should ask for money?

[bettyellen]

3. because you should tell them when you invite them

no ones ever charged me for staying with them. i sure wouldn;t expect it.

[commander bunnypants]

4. I do

every year

CB

[Road Scholar]

6. You should have mentioned expenses in the invitation. nt

[NorthernSpy]

7. I never come empty-handed...

... and I always spring for dinner at least once.

But no, one doesn't expect to be invited to stay and then charged for it, does one?


:wtf:

[Misunderestimator]

5. I guess you should not "invite" them, but ask if they want to help pay

for your vacation instead. :shrug:

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

9. I agree with everyone else.

This one's on you. I'd be bent out of shape too, and I'd probably force feed you the money if you didn't ask for it.

[madinmaryland]

12. Huh?

When you invite someone over for dinner do you also expect them to bring the dinner?

:wtf:

..If you are sharing the condo with a group, then yeah its ok to ask for money. But that doesn't seem to be what's going on.

[commander bunnypants]

13. yea sharing the condo

CB

[madinmaryland]

16. If you're sharing it with everyone else,

then by all means, they should be sharing in the expenses of the condo. That what i have done when sharing a condo with another group of people.

If they were just coming for an afternoon and evening, then it would be rude to ask them to pay. I would assume they would volunteer to chip in for food and beverages. If not, then don't invite the cheapskates again.

[commander bunnypants]

18. 3 nights

CB

[seaglass]

20. Are these new people who haven't shared with your group

before?

I'm not getting a clear picture of the situation.

[grace0418]

32. I guess I'm still curious how the invitation was worded. Did you actually

ask them to share the condo with you or did you invite them to stay with you? If you asked them to share a condo with you, then YES, by all means they should be splitting expenses. If you just invited them to stay with you then no, you probably didn't make that clear enough.

[crispini]

14. I'm gonna agree with the rest of the thread here.

If you said you'd like to "invite" them over, you're outta bounds. IMO, that implies that they are your guest.

If you said, "The wife and I are getting a condo on the beach in May. Would you like to come along and chip in on the rent?" then that would be different.

[skygazer]

15. You mention an "unspoken rule" in one of your posts

Rules should never be unspoken, especially with friends and family and concerning money. When you issue an invitation to share a condo over a vacation period, you need to state right out that it would be with the stipulation that they share the cost. Saves aggravation and bad feelings later.

I've been flummoxed in the past by invitations to do things which contained no mention of who was paying - one assumes when one is "invited" that they are the guest and the other is the host. It's awkward as hell to have to ask - "Are you paying or am I?"

Make it clear to begin with.

[underpants]

21. "unspoken" means "assumed"

and that opens up all kinds of holes

[DS1]

26. Or an attempt to open up all kinds of holes

which results in a faceful of mace :D

[Coventina]

17. Sorry to pile on, but, I think you dug this hole yourself.

Inviting people means that they are your guest. Guests don't pay.

[commander bunnypants]

19. tell me about it

CB

[underpants]

22. I ...uh.... am going to side with. ...... uh....everyone else

and invitation means you are hosting.

[Mutley]

23. Did you let them know when you invited them that you expected them

to help with expenses? Or later? If not then I think it is perfectly reasonable that they saw themselves as your guests.

[Cathyclysmic]

24. Let me give you my opinion

Wait...before I volunteer my unsolicited opinion, give me your credit card number so I have charge you for my opinion.

With that said, the people you invited should offer you a least a bottle of wine or something.

[TheFriendlyAnarchist]

25. Well 'I' agree with you, but I think next time you should make it clear

although, since 'manners' seems to be an issue to so many people in the thread, then it would be good manners for them to at least offer to help _some_. My inclination is that if I'm invited, I'm buying my share unless told otherwise.

[commander bunnypants]

27. well thank-you

If I were invited I would assume there would be a cost due to the time 3 nights, its a vacation and the beach is exspensive.


Only one person had no problem..

Live and learn I quess


It is just the way I have been doing it for years.

If I invited someone over for dinner, that is different

[Hosnon]

28. I'm going to the beach in a few weeks with a friend who invited me to

stay at his condo.

If he asks for "rent" when I get there I'm coming straight home:)

I agree with the majority.

Seems to be the difference in saying:

1) Would you like to go to the beach with me? (You pay)

And

2) Let's go to the beach together. (Everyone pays)

[tigereye]

29. I would assume that I would pay you something -

or at least pay for a lot of food and meals. That's how we do it in my family.

[Dora]

30. Wow. Even Dora knows that a condo on the beach isn't FREE.

If somebody in my peer group or family "invited" us to join them at their beachfront condo, I'd assume it wasn't entirely on their tab.

I would quickly ask what our "share" of the rental expense would be. And I'd also pack some freakin' good food to share with the hosts.

[grace0418]

33. I agree that it's poor manners to assume your trip is "all expenses paid"

if you are invited to someone's vacation home (or permanent home). You should at least offer to pay for meals, excursions, etc. But I think it's up to the host to make it clear from the beginning whether this is an invitation to stay with them or an invitation to go on a trip together. There is a big difference.

[grace0418]

31. Did you say "would you like to go in on a vacation rental with us?" or

did you say "would you like to stay with us?" If I was asked to "go in on" a place, I would most certainly assume that it would be split. But if someone invited me to stay, I would not make that assumption. I'm sorry.

But I don't think that makes me cheap. I'm actually a very generous person and I am always told I am an excellent guest. I always bring a gift, I either take my hosts out for a meal (or meals, depending on the length of my stay) or buy groceries and cook, I straighten up after myself and I send a card and usually another thank you gift after I leave. But no, I don't offer money for the night's stay.

When I think of it the other way around (when people stay with me) I would laugh in their faces if they offered me money for staying at my house. That's just absurd.

Sorry CB, I don't agree with you there.

[bumblebee1]

35. My sister and brother-in-law rent a condo for two weeks in

Ocean City, MD. A couple of years ago, they invited my husband and me down for the weekend. We offered to pay them some money, but, they refused. The four of us took turns paying for the lunches and dinners out.

[pitohui]

36. if you invite someone they think it's an invitation right?

you should have made it clear upfront that you weren't inviting them to be your guests but to pay their own way

when someone invites me somewhere i have to assume i am their guest unless they say something up front

it's like when you invite me to dinner, you can't hit me up for $25 when i get there or even $5, that is just not right and it would be the end of a friendship

i don't charge you when i invite you to be a guest at my home, beach house, or dinner, do i?

i think not!

they probably budgeted based on planning to buy you a nice thank you gift and to invite you back somewhere next year

now they find out you just rented more condo than you can afford and they've got a sudden unplanned expense, ouch

[NorthernSpy]

37. like the morning after a magical night: "by the way, that was 50 bucks"

Just as you wouldn't regard your significant other as a, ah, customer, the relationship between host and guest is also rightly considered to be other-than-commercial in nature.

The bottom line is this: you need to decide whether you want guests (in which case you can't charge them, for crying out loud!), or co-renters (in which case they receive a right to inhabit the property in return for their payments).