Are bars truly good places to meet people?

[Deja Q]

Otherwise this weekend will be my final times out to the bars.

[Beaverhausen]

1. define "people"

[no name no slogan]

2. for the brazillionth time

no. Not unless you you are looking for a meat market-type situation.

[Deja Q]

13. Right now I'll take anything; even if it's after the sell-by date.

[Mutley]

3. Only if you get really lucky.

And by lucky, I don't mean lucky. :D

[Ariana Celeste]

4. Judging by the men in my mom's life...

No, not really.

[Bucky]

5. I once picked up a girl at a bar

Once. Not surprisingly, she turned out to have a drinking problem.

Stop laughing.

[Deja Q]

6. I was not laughing.

[NewJeffCT]

7. Have you tried the internets?

I never had any success in bars, but I'm also kind of quiet. I met a ton of women from online.

I had bad luck with online women before I met my ex-wife, and then great luck after my ex filed for divorce.

[Deja Q]

12. For 9 years.

The internet is just as... empty.

[TheCentepedeShoes]

8. You need a local hangout

Someplace where people go to unwind and have fun, with a good male/female mix but not a meat market.
Ever heard of the book "The View from Nowhere" ? Forgot who wrote it, but it was his take on what he called the "bar bar." Essays about what makes a bar bar a bar bar interspersed with list of places that qualify from different parts of the country. Think it was written in the early 80's. Loaned my copy to someone a long time ago and never asked for it back. Only place he mentioned that I'd been to was PJ Clark's in NYC.
Anywho, I used to hang out at a place like that. Big bunch of people who knew each other for years. People moved away, died, got married, got divorced, their kids grew up and went off to college, the bartender's hubby and kids got out of Romania and came to the States. The place closed before hubby and I moved away ourselves, but I bet if we went back to that neighborhood there would be a place where we could find at least some of the same folks.

[khashka]

9. Depends what you want

If you just wanna get laid, sure. But there are quicker and easier ways to accomplish that.
If you wanna meet someone that you can make a connection with and maybe have a relationship with, not so good.

That isn't really a hard and fast rule. But you have to be clever. Don't look at the cute party boys. Find that kinda shy guy sitting alone in a corner nursing a drink. The one who looks kinda uncomfortable. And introduce yourself. He's there to meet someone special because he doesn't know where else to go. And you are so handsome I doubt many men wouldn't be grateful for your attention.

You might be better off getting involved in gay politics, gay social groups, art collectives etc. Where you can meet men and get to know them. I don't think you like the "meat market" thang. I love it but it doesn't seem to suit you.

I wouldn't totally give up on the bars - they are one of the main places that gay men can meet each other - but you should be exploring other alternatives.


BTW, totally off topic... tonight is Empty Child. I'm excited beyond all reason. You've already seen it. What did you think? Is my excitement justified?

Khash.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

10. I met one girl where I hang out.

It's a straight bar/restaurant and she was a waitress there. We had fun, then she got a job in FL. I've met plenty of awesome friends there though. It's not a pickup place though. I honestly haven't seen one review that hasn't referred to it as "Cheers" in someway. The reviews are right. It is like Cheers. There's some drama and you might find a date there, but it's more likely that you'll get to know people and make a ton of friends.

[Iniquitous Bunny]

11. No.

Bars are fun to drink at with friends on occasion. To start a relationship? Um... never did it, but doesn't seem to work for hardly anyone.

[bigwillq]

14. I've met a lot of people at a bar

Some really good people. Some as lovers, some as friends.

Good luck on your search. :hi: