I love my job, I really do.

[reyd reid reed]

Really.

But lately it seems like my brain's gone fuzzy. I think I just figured out why. I'm sitting at work and my phone rings:

"I've got a score to report."

"What sport?"

"Girls"

"Girls.....what?"

"Oh. Girls soccer."

"Okay. What was the final score?"

"4-0."

"Who won?"

"Woodland Park."

"And this was against.....?"

"Oh. Wasson."

"Who was visitor?"

"Woodland Park."

"What was the score at the half?"

"1-0. Woodland Park was ahead."

( Well...DUH)

"Who scored the first goal?"

"Woodland Park did."

"The player?"

"Oh. Colton."

"Assisted by....?"

"I don't know."

"Oh. Okay. Time on that goal?"

"I don't know."

"Okay. Second goal...who scored it?"

"Hooper."

"The assist?"

"I don't have any of the assists. I don't have any times, either."

"Oh. Okay."

(now we've cleared that up, we can move on, right?)

"Shots on goal for Woodland Park?"

"Yes."

(Huh?)

"How many shots did Woodland Park take?"

"Oh. Okay. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm......18"

"Wasson?"

"Four"

"Who was Woodland Park's goalkeeper?"

"Ummmmmmmm....well, she played the first half. And some of the second. Part of it, at least."

"Who did?"

"Oh. Parrinella."

"P-A-R-R-I-N-E-L-L-A?"

"No, no. It's P-A-R-R-I-N-E-L-L-A."

(WTF?)

"Do you know how many minutes she played?"

"Well, no. Just that she played part of the second half, too."

"Wasson's goalkeeper?"

(This oughta FINALLY be something he knows....to be fair though, he did have corners....)

"I don't know. They didn't give me a roster."

HE WAS THE FUCKIN' WOODLAND PARK COACH!!!!!!

I think my head might 'splode....

[Oeditpus Rex]

1. BTDT

Slammed down the phone, went outside and screamed, went home — after the section was put to bed.

:hug:

[reyd reid reed]

2. Heh...

I'm not a phone-slammer. Usually.

I did 'bout fall outta my chair, though.

[Oeditpus Rex]

3. From spinning in it

while holding your head and going "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"?

Or did you see it as the "Who's On First"-ish farce that it was?

[reyd reid reed]

4. Oh, it took farcical to new heights...

The guy couldn't have...I mean...if he'd Tried he couldn't have...

Oh, geeeeze....

:rofl:

Of course, if I'd had three other coaches on the phone waiting...or it was deadline...

I might've felt a teeeeeeeeeny bit differently about it...

[Oeditpus Rex]

5. Y'know, you, me and bigwillq

could probably work up a comedy bit about this.

But nobody would think it's funny, I bet, because they wouldn't believe it.

[reyd reid reed]

6. Sure they would

We're a believable, trustworthy, responsible...

(stop Laughing, I'm Series!!!!!1!!)....

Did I ever tell you what I was doing during the infamous Bartman incident?

Uh huh.

Soccer box. Idjit coach. Only difference is, it was fall so it was boys.

[Oeditpus Rex]

7. So you missed that while

some bozo was counting (i.e. making up) shots on goal and thinking, "Should I tell her about the three red cards?"