Giant Bee! Argh! Giant Bee! (Help me)

[jane_pippin]

I'm just trying to spend some time on my porch, plant a few things in some pots and enjoy my day. Every time I set foot on my porch, however, the biggest frickin' bee I have ever seen flies right at my head and scares the crap out of me. (I don't care if it can sting me or not--fucker is 2 inches in diameter at least--no lie, and it's freaking me out.)

I don't know why it keeps coming back to our porch. We have no plants yet, nothing out there that seems bee-friendly that I can see, no hive hanging off the building where it might live, and there's a nice field nearby full of things for my bee nemesis to go play in and pollenate. But no, he wants to attack me.

If you know of anything I can do to help him along his evil bee way, short of shooting him in the face with buckshot, (which at the moment is the only viable option I can think of except for that I'm fresh out of guns and buckshot), please, please, please tell me.

Thanks.

[supernova]

1. Are you wearing any of the following?

Hair spray?

Perfume? (even perfumed cosmetics work here)

Bright colorful clothing?

All of these attract insects like kids to candy. Remove the offending item and you will not be bothered.

Second option:

Douse him with bug spray.

[jane_pippin]

2. Hmmm...anything like that would be residual from yesterday

(Saturday's the slob day of the week).

No colorful clothing, no hairspray, perfume yesterday and only a little makeup today from when I went out for breakfast earlier but it's not scented in any way--at least that I know of. (Maybe The Bee knows something I don't there.) The only thing remotely scented is my deoderant.

What do bees hate? Because I want to find a lot of whatever that is.

[gizmo1979]

3. I usually swat them with my hat.

Of course if you miss I would guess he's gonna get mighty mad.

[jane_pippin]

4. I'm pretty sure this one has his own hat!

:scared:

I just sprayed some Raid outside. Maybe that will do it. Google searching brings up the idea that bees don't like DEET so now I'm going to see if I can find some OFF or something around here.

[In_The_Wind]

5. We have some huge bees here. I've seen them going into my roof.

The ones that are staring at me are larger than this:
I haven't found the exact one on my search.

[jane_pippin]

6. Gah! Oh, I don't handle giant insects well at all.

A few years ago there was a hornet nest inside the wall of our building--in the cracks between the bricks, I guess--not too far away from our porch. That was no fun at all. There's also, (or at least there was--I haven't seen much of them this year), a bird's nest in a hole in the wall near our porch. That's kind of cute except that when we go out on the porch the parent birds freak out.

Ahh, nature. Nothing like when it exacts payback by taking up residence in your walls.

[EstimatedProphet]

130. Those are carpenter bees

they burrow in wood. They avoid people, so don't worry about them.

[ghostsofgiants]

7. I was walking once...

A bee flew up out of nowhere, stung me on the cheek, then got caught under my glasses. Scared the shit out of me. Been nervous around bees ever since.

[jane_pippin]

17. Oh yuck!

That's no good at all! The worst that ever happened to me was one stung me a few years ago when I was at an ATM, so I ran into the nearby liquor store to get them to give me an ice cube or two for the sting. The liquor store guys kept asking me if I wanted a shot of whiskey, but I was underage at the time and didn't want to get them in trouble so I said no. So, in conclusion, the worst thing about my bee sting was that I didn't get free booze out of it. :shrug:

[Whoa_Nelly]

8. Sounds like a Carpenter Bee

They tend to be a nuisance, especially the males...and they don't sting, just the females do. However, the female carpenter bees tend to not be aggressive unless you are directly invading/intruding upon their nest area.

Read here to learn more:
http://hgic.clemson.edu/factsheets/HGIC2451.htm

[jane_pippin]

10. I think that is what this is--thanks for the link

I bet it's our porch it's after--or one of the neighbors'. According to that site, they're all about the wood. I just sprayed some ant spray outside--apparently that's supposed to help. We will see, though.

Wish me luck, I'm going to try this again. :D

[Whoa_Nelly]

14. Yup...any unpainted wood is an attraction for nesting for them

have these around my place. Sometimes they nest at the base of woody shrubs.

I hate it when they buzz me! But, have learned they don't chase, and will fly off if I wave a book or something toward them.

on edit:
Report back about'em :D

Hope they leave you alone.

[jane_pippin]

16. Success!

I feel a little bad now that I read your post here about them not chasing, but I sprayed a little ant spray on the porch--the site you pointed me to mentioned that they aren't fans of it--and it didn't come back.

I'm going to ask the landlord to hunt around under our porches for anything that might look like bee homes though. I like nature and all--I just don't like it hitting me in the face with its scary flying self if it can be helped. And, I'd like to enjoy some porch time if at all possible this year.

[Call Me Wesley]

9. Ask her/him to leave you alone and that there's a nice field nearby.

Or smoke a cigarette.

Harmless; just don't start to wave your hands all around - it'll stress out both of you.

[jane_pippin]

18. I think it managed to find the happy bee field

Or, that's what I'll think until later tonight when I'm in bed and I hear a menacing, constant buzz right outside of my window when it comes back for revenge!

[Call Me Wesley]

38. If that's what you want? :P

I think her/him enjoys the field much more now. No worries! :hi:

[Maine-ah]

11. ya think those are bad...

we had one of these at work last summer...
just sitting on the side of the building, had never seen anything like it ever.




*sorry the pic is so wide, it was tough to find a good one.
it's an Ichneumon wasp

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

12. Holy shit!

Now I have another reason to hate nature...

[Duer 157099]

15. Holy crap!

I thought that was a stinger, until I read this:

"Females have a very long (up to 3 inches long) thread-like egg-laying structure (ovipositor) on the end of their abdomens."

Even so... nasty!

[Maine-ah]

61. the one that we saw had a longer back end than three inches

I'd say closer to six.


***shivers****

[AlienGirl]

133. That's an ovipositor, not a stinger, so don't worry!

That's just what she lays eggs through. I've handled ichneumons bare-handed and never been stung--I don't know if they even have stingers. They're actually kind of friendly, and they help keep forests healthy by preying on things that eat wood.

Tucker

[B3Nut]

136. Yup, just an ovipositor

However, in the stinging species of ants, bees, and wasps (order Hymenoptera) the stinger evolved from the ovipositor, which is why only females can sting, males never had egg-laying apparatuses. :)

Carpenter bees look like large bumblebees with no hair on their abdomens. The male has a white spot in the middle of its head, on the front. The female carpenter bee doesn't fly around people much, the males are the worst. But since males lack stings, it's all bluster.

Todd in Beerbratistan

[jane_pippin]

21. Oh sweet jesus! Where does that monster live?

I hope I never, ever, ever have a run in with one of those puppies.

[Maine-ah]

56. in the deep woods

last year there was a bit of construction going on in the "sticks" nearby, and they must have disturbed them.

[MiniMandaRuth]

13. Is it an all black bee?

I nearly stepped on one of those bad boys yesterday. He was HUGE!!!!

[jane_pippin]

26. Yikes! No, I think I saw some yellow on it but

I was also freaking out and running away like a baby so I really don't know for sure. Glad you didn't step on that thing though. We need a "shudder" smiley guy, because that's what I'm doing right now. :D

[Random_Australian]

19. Donald Rumsfeld is giving the President his daily briefing.

[Ava]

20. He concludes by saying

[Random_Australian]

22. "Yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed."

[Ava]

23. "OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

[Random_Australian]

24. His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion,

[Ava]

25. nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

[Random_Australian]

27. Finally, the President looks up and asks,

[Ava]

28. "How many is a brazillion?"

[Random_Australian]

91. So, how many is a brazillion?

[Ava]

106. i don't know

dont' ask me!

[Random_Australian]

110. Why not?

[Ava]

117. because!

[Random_Australian]

118. I g2g!

[Ava]

119. go then! bye!

[Random_Australian]

121. psh!

[Ava]

123. don't psh me!

[Random_Australian]

125. psh!

[Ava]

127. psh! psh! psh!

[jane_pippin]

30. I shake my fist at both of you little hooligans!

:spank: :spank:


:D

[Ava]

31. muahahahaha!

:evilgrin:

[Random_Australian]

32. President Bush and Don Rumsfeld are sitting in a bar.

[Ava]

33. A guy walks in and asks the barman,

[Random_Australian]

34. “Isn’t that Bush and Rumsfeld sitting over there?”

[Ava]

35. The barman says, “Yep, that’s them.”

[Random_Australian]

36. So the guy walks over and says,

[Ava]

37. “Wow, this is a real honor! What are you guys doing in here?”

[Random_Australian]

39. Bush says, “We’re planning WW III.”

[Ava]

40. And the guy says, “Really? What’s going to happen?”

[Random_Australian]

41. Bush says, “Well, this time we’re going to kill 140 million Muslims

[Ava]

42. and one blonde with big tits.”

[Random_Australian]

43. The guy exclaimed,

[Ava]

44. “A blonde with big tits? Why kill a blonde with big tits?”

[Random_Australian]

45. Bush turns to Rumsfeld and says,

[Ava]

46. “See, I told you no one would care about the 140 million Muslims”.

[Random_Australian]

48. I have an idea!

[Ava]

49. what is that?

[Random_Australian]

50. I'm not telling you, you could be a spy!

[Ava]

51. you won't tell me because you don't really have an idea!

[Random_Australian]

52. Oh yeah? Look in the Lounge in about 30 seconds!

[Ava]

53. will do

[Random_Australian]

54. Like?

[Ava]

55. hmm.. i don't know if it would work!

:rofl:

[Random_Australian]

57. I'll take that as like. Glad to get you smilin'.

[Ava]

58. psh! i was already smiling!

:P

[Random_Australian]

59. Now you are smiling more then!

So there!

[Ava]

60. but i wasn't smiling at you!

:P

[Random_Australian]

62. Now you are smiling at (other + me) and since

'me' is an absolute function, s.t. f(x) > 0 for all Re x, then you ARE smiling more!

[Ava]

63. now i'm frowning at you!

[Random_Australian]

64. Are you standing on your head by any chance?

[Ava]

65. nope

[Random_Australian]

66. Then you frown when happy! Or you like parsley. Choose!

[Ava]

67. i like parsley

[Random_Australian]

68. That's my line!

Psh! :P

[Ava]

69. it doesn't like you anymore!

[Random_Australian]

70. WTF? Was that like 'it pus the lotion in the basket' - cos it sounded like

it!

[Ava]

71. huh?

[Random_Australian]

72. You can't get out of it that easy. Answer the question.

[Ava]

73. what question?

[Random_Australian]

74. Wrong answer. Try again. You have 1 attempt left.

[Ava]

75. huh?

[Random_Australian]

76. *ahem* Ok moving on, what are you up to?

[Ava]

77. HUH?

:rofl:

[Random_Australian]

78. What does HUH stand for? Human Unilateral Heuristics?

[Ava]

79. psh!

[Random_Australian]

80. I like parsley. Do you like kudzu?

[Ava]

81. of course not silly!

[Random_Australian]

82. I wasn't asking about silly, I was asking about kudzu!

[Ava]

83. no

[Random_Australian]

84. ok. How is your website going?

[Ava]

85. wonderful! over 250,000 hits already this month!

:hi:

[Random_Australian]

86. wow! That is great! Will you win that comp?

[Ava]

87. don't know yet, the judges still haven't made their decision

[Random_Australian]

88. I see. Anyway, got any more interviews coming up?

[Ava]

89. one with Rawstory next week

[Random_Australian]

90. Cool. How goes life in general?

[Ava]

92. pretty well, and your's?

[Random_Australian]

93. Well, but busy. g2g soon.

[Ava]

94. ok. bye!

:hi:

we almost made it to 100

[Random_Australian]

95. Got a few minutes left!

[Ava]

96. oh. ok!

:P

[Random_Australian]

97. I did say SOON didn't I?

[Ava]

98. yes, now go!

:P

[Random_Australian]

99. That wasn't very nice!

[Ava]

101. i know

100! :P

[Ava]

102. dammit! leftofthedial took away 100 from me!

:grr:

[Random_Australian]

105. nyah nyah na-yah nah!

[Ava]

107. psh! hate you!

:cry:

[Random_Australian]

111. wow, man, deja vú!

[Ava]

112. i'm a chick not a man!

chirp chirp!

[Random_Australian]

115. Do you lay eggs? No? THEN YOU ARE A MAN. Face it.

Fundy logic 101.

[Ava]

116. i lay eggs!

check a biology book!

[Random_Australian]

120. No. I am leaving.

[Ava]

122. bye

[Random_Australian]

103. THAT WAS NOT 100 HAHAHAHAHA!

[Ava]

104. psh! i hate you again!

:cry:

[Random_Australian]

108. Uh huh. Call me in 3 seconds when you change your mind.

[Ava]

109. why would i call you?

:P

[Random_Australian]

113. Ok then not 'call' 'write poetry to me over AIM' then. Happy?

That is what you usually do.

[Ava]

114. poetry?

roses are red
violet are blue
sugar is sweet
and i hate you!


:P

[Random_Australian]

124. cya!

[Blue_Tires]

29. god dammit i HATE insects

[jane_pippin]

47. Me too. They're flying monsters of doom

And. They. Know it!

[Blue_Tires]

129. i've had a phobia of them for a long time now

[leftofthedial]

100. bigger than two 80-pound wasps?

if not, quit whining . . .


;-)


just ignore him. he doesn't want anything to do with you.

[Roon]

126. Just "B" careful eom

[gardenista]

128. Probably a carpenter bee

They're very territorial.

He won't sting you. They're cool.

[NewJeffCT]

131. Is it one of these?

http://www.vespa-crabro.de/manda.htm

[hedgehog]

132. If I have nightmares tonight, it's your fault!

[B3Nut]

137. You won't find that species in the US.

The only true Hornet found in the US is the European hornet (vespa crabro). The wasp popularly known as the bald-faced hornet is actually a yellowjacket species classificationally.

Vespa Mandarina is one imposing little lady!

Todd in Beerbratistan

[NewJeffCT]

138. I know, but

I was hoping somebody would read too close & get scared... :evilgrin:

[B3Nut]

139. LOL!

I don't think it would be to terribly difficult for that Asian hornet to be introduced to the US, if a foundress got into a shipping container at the right time. Not sure how long they'd last past one colony, I have no idea how much inbreeding the species can tolerate (since they'd all be descending from one colony in this hypothetical scenario...I can only guess, since I'm not an entomologist, just a geek with an interest in various sciences).

Todd in Beerbratistan

[Proud_Democratt]

134. The biggest bee in the US is

a ground hornet, a relative to the giant hornet in Japan. It is orange and yellow and no visible hair.

If it;s black and yellow and fuzzy, it's most likely an Auger bee, similar to a Bumble bee.

[Neshanic]

135. Those things are like blimps! Try Az's Tarantula Hawk Wasp....

Google that bad boy....seeing that thing fly around me has me running away fast!

[tonekat]

140. Have you seen a cicada killer? Yikes!

I've seen one actually carry off a cicada, and you know how big those things are!

But then, there's another type, it's a hornet, different color wings, just as big as the cicada killer, I have no idea if it's the European Hornet or what, but it is scary!! And agressive! And comes out at night as well as day!

Aaaaagggghhh!