Hey Singles! What are your requisites for considering someone as

[Whoa_Nelly]

interesting enough to get to know better?

After reading crispini's thread about trying out the dating thing again, got me thinking... My requisites have really changed over the years. Now, it;s important to me that for me to be interested in a guy he has to have some of the following and HAS to be a Dem!

Not necessarily in this order

1) College education
2) Likes to create/play music
3) Enjoys art
4) Has opinions and can enjoy conversation/discussion about many subjects
5) Shows he is willing to keep learning about self and others
6) Likes to share in doing projects, going on outings/trips
7) Has already taken on financial responsibilty for himself
(Am getting old enough that am not willing ever again to put up with a guy waiting for his ship to come in per se.)

Do looks matter? Am not so sure anymore about that...clean is good...smiling and healthy is good...letting his personality shine through is very good.

So what things do you think are important to you now that in earlier years of your life you didn't even give a rat's ass?
When I was younger it was all about sex...now I want sex and more...:rofl:

[ZombieNixon]

1. God, you know...I think about this constantly, but when someone asks,

I never know exactly what to say, because if I were to narrow it down to ten or so things, I'd always think of something more that I want. I have ridiculously high standards. x(

But after recent events I can be 100% sure of two things.

1) Must know what she wants out of a potential relationship
2) Must be honest and truthful

OK, three things
3) No glaring self-confidence problems, please

[Whoa_Nelly]

2. One thing have learned after all these years

It took years into adulthood to actually realize what it is that I want out of a relationship. I think it took having had relationships, having been married, having raised a kid, having to juggle my life between all of that and working that has taken me to this point in life where I can see so much more clearly about what I like/want in contrast to what I won;t tolerate at all anymore.

[TheFriendlyAnarchist]

35. I agree, but I only care if she's honest with me. I wouldn't really care

if she lied to others, because it's sometimes necessary.

But no one listen to me. I've argued about three different things today, and each person (all democrats) flat out said I was wrong

[norml]

3. Breathing is good.

Call me picky, or narrow minded, or whatever, but I'm not so much into the non-breathing ones.

[Whoa_Nelly]

4. Why do you hate necrophilia?

Or do you just hate Zombies!!!!????

(Got your back ZombieNixon! You are a good zombie in my book!)

[ZombieNixon]

5. 'Sall right

He's not my type anyway. ;)

[norml]

6. I love the dead

but not for "dating".

I might go in for a bit of table tapping, but no more than that.

[leftyladyfrommo]

27. That's what I was going to say.

It's the first thing you check for when you get as old as I am.

It's also nice if they have teeth.

Being able to talk is a positive thing, too.

[crispini]

7. 1) Good conversation.

Has to has to has to be good at passing the conversational ball back and forth. If he's awkward on the 1st date but seems interesting, I'll give it another go but if the conversation continues to lurch back and forth like a cart on a square wheel, then it AIN'T happening.

2) Interest in arts, music, books, literature, travel, anything like that. I have really broad tastes so if he's interested in even one area, that's good. This is fuel for the conversation, heh.

3) Belief that we should do our best to make the world a better place in our own way.

Meh, I'm sure there's more but now I'm getting sleeeeeeeeeeeeeepy. :boring: :hi: Nighty night!

[leftofthedial]

8. 2 and 7 are usually mutually exclusive

LOL

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

17. Ain't that the truth!

[Ohio Joe]

9. Why College?

[Whoa_Nelly]

31. Why not college?

It's important to me. It's that simple :)

[JVS]

37. Because college is a racket designed to fleece people of $80k in the...

exchange for a piece of paper that lets them make more money.

It is a holding pen for the children of the well to do, used to distiguish them from the riff-raff who can't afford it.

Because colleges and universities are filthy pimps who whore out Lady Philosophia and turn her into a defiled and foul wench

[Patiod]

41. One of my best friends married a guy w/o college

Some of our friends from school thought she was crazy, but I know the guy - he's as smart or smarter than most of the guys I knew in college. Well read, thoughtful, self-educated, well spoken and bright.

Bill Gates never graduated (okay, he may not be the best example of a great guy that didn't graduate, but you get the point)

JV - I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks college is a racket designed to fleece people and to separate the "wheat" from the working class "chaff" well, ("okay, we'll give a few of the chaff a scholarship so they don't realize the game is fixed)

[JVS]

46. I know it's a racket because I'm a grad student

I am a footsoldier in the scheme :-)

[Whoa_Nelly]

44. Why do you hate colleges so much?

Would hardly call them a holding pen for the children of the well-to-do. When I was in college there were many I knew who were working hard to make it work for them. One of my friends who came from a very poor family is now a physician's assistant and working yet to get her M.D.

So are you saying, for example, that anyone can beand shoul dbe able to be an MD without going through the rigors of the med college education?

Am not quite understanding your clear dislike of colleges. Is it so wrong to seek a higher education to be able to pursue one's life interests?

Is your response indicative of something that happened to you re: college/education?

[JVS]

48. See #46

[alarimer]

50. It is to me too

They have to have at least some college. I find that with almost a Masters I have very little in common with guys without degrees. Some people are self-educated but most people without degrees (at least in my experience are not educated at all; they have no interest in current events or are very conservative). In my experience (but your mileage may vary), More education=more likelihood (though no guarantee) of their being a liberal. Of course it depends on the degree. Business majors= generally conservative; biology majors = generally more liberal.

[skygazer]

52. Everyone's entitled to their opinion, of course

It would interest me to know what percentage of your time you spend among people who don't have degrees. I would imagine that you spend most of it with people like yourself and of the same relative level of education. Which would, of course, mean that you'd have a limited experience of what we mere peons are actually like.

Speaking for myself, I'm a high school dropout but I will gladly debate anyone here on any number of subjects and I doubt you'll find me wanting in either intelligence or knowledge. That doesn't necessarily mean that all high school dropouts are like me but a college education doesn't guarantee those things either. I've met plenty of damn fools who hold degrees.

I just think it's rather a rigid requirement myself.

[Whoa_Nelly]

61. Actually the amount of time spent with those who have college degrees is

almost none at the moment.

And I was a high school drop out who didn't start college until age 29. After going to college, it opened up so many new experiences and added a lot to my world view in more ways than I can count.

I don't think it's elitist in the least to consider someone having a college as a requisite. It's important to me on many levels. And isn't that what it's all about? It's a matter of personal preference, not elitism.

[xchrom]

10. if i don't like 'em in the sack

no list i have will save them.

they have to be educated and very well informed about art and literature.

a progressive.

if they have that goin on -- we'll get on.

[Starbucks Anarchist]

11. Low standards.

:evilgrin:

[Mutley]

12. It depends on the person, really.

There are things that are very important such as sense of humor, basic chemistry and some level of intelligence. Then there are other things that are more flexible such as political affiliation, various interests and finances.

I don't know if looks matter as much as chemistry. Attraction is obviously necessary, but everyone's idea of what makes a person attractive is going to be different.

For me the more superficial things don't matter as much now as they did when I was younger. But I think that'd be the case with most people as they grow up.

[treestar]

13. Sounds like a job application

Too many requirements, too.

[Callalily]

14. The top two qualities

for me are intelligence and a sense of humor. That said, my heart is on hiatus. All my energies are focused on school and my job.

[billyskank]

15. I haven't got a checklist

Like...must be this, must be that, must not be this, must be into that...

I'm ready to consider any (most?) possibilities.

Anyways, beggars can't be choosers, eh...?

[GirlinContempt]

19. Well, you do like a nice pair of gams, no?

;)

[billyskank]

20. I am partial, yes

:7

[Lydia Leftcoast]

16. Hey, Whoa_Nelly, we're looking for the same guy! (Not quite, but close)

:-)

No, my prerequisites, in no particular order:

1) Kind-hearted with a solid moral and ethical core

2) Highly intelligent, especially in a verbal sense, and interested in and knowledgeable about a wide variety of things, but willing to slum occasionally.

3) Willing to attend performing arts events, not as a grudging favor to me, but because he attends them whether he's dating or not. (I am willing to learn from him, too. I have a couple of exes to thank for some of my current interests.)

4) Doesn't have to be rich but must have some kind of job

5) Doesn't have to be a hunk, but must take good care of himself

6) Interested in the world beyond the U.S., preferably with experience living overseas

7) Aware that sports aren't actually important

8) Not hung-up on gender roles

9) Fond of cities and real towns, disdainful of suburbs

10) Masculine without being macho

11) Not afraid of new experiences



Yes, I know, it's a difficult order to fill, but I've spent enough time alone to know that I CAN be alone. There are plenty of single, middle-aged men out there, but the vast majority are BORING (can't talk about anything but work and sports) and riddled with conservative attitudes. They're basically looking for a housekeeper with benefits. Yeah, they wouldn't beat me up, but I'm already not being beaten up.

I just don't find the non-verbal types or the scared-to-buck-conventional-wisdom types or the typical Middle American suburban guy types attractive. Shyness is not an issue. I'll try to draw out a shy man who shows signs of intelligence and wit (wicked glints in the eyes, mumbled witticisms), but I'll pass up the empty-headed hunk and seek out the less elegant wry wit every time.

[crispini]

26. LOL!

"Yeah, they wouldn't beat me up, but I'm already not being beaten up."

WROD! :thumbsup:

[Patiod]

42. Good luck on #7 - I think I got the last one in that category

Doesn't check scores, doens't watch any sport on TV (although he listens to baseball on the radio) and has NEVER SEEN SPORTSCENTER.

He does enjoy going to baseball games with me, though, which is a plus. We think it's fun, but but neither of us think it's important, which is key.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

45. Yeah, I loved one of my exes even more when he asked in all seriousness

"When is the Super Bowl this year?" (The answer was "Last week.") :-)

[Iniquitous Bunny]

18. Intelligence is #1.

Emotional and sexual compatibility is #2. Willingness to communicate like a grown-up is #3. Similar interests is #4. Fiscally responsible is #5. If these 5 things aren't there, it pretty much won't work no matter what.

[Hell Hath No Fury]

21. Does not want to procreate...

or already has and they are over butt-wiping age.

Is a liberal with strong environmental and civil liberties values.
Likes movies, exploring the outdoors, reading, and art.
Has no addictions, including cigs. Light social drinker is okay, but no pot.
Thinks "lovemaking" is better than "fucking".
Is spiritually aware and open.
Takes responsibility for his own emotional healing and health.
Knows there are nights when a gal wants to sleep in her own bed with her own cats and is okay with that.

At my age I am just to old to put up with the same shit I did when I was a teen and in my 20s. At this point, I don't "need" a man in my life, and it has been incredibly freeing.

[MissMillie]

22. I think you're my twin.

:hi:

[Hell Hath No Fury]

23. Damn! It's always the same....

if only I were a lesbian! :D

:hi:

[mdmc]

24. they must be female

and liberal

[Samurai_Writer]

25. My requirements... no wonder I'm still single...

1. Nonsmoker.
2. Employed.
3. No addictions.
4. No conservatives.
5. Doesn't want kids, or their kids are already grown.
6. Be around my same height, or taller. (I'm 5'10", would date anyone 5'8" or taller)
7. Has their own transportation.
8. Must be liberal.
9. Intelligent, creative, and honest.
10. Must like BBWs. (because I'm one!)

[leftyladyfrommo]

28. Stick with your animals. They really are more fun.

[NorthernSpy]

29. why won't you date short guys?

Just curious...

I've gone out with guys who were shorter than me. My conclusion is that they're just like the guys who are taller than me, only shorter!

[Samurai_Writer]

38. I date guys a couple inches shorter than me

Like 5'8" or so. Any shorter and I feel like they are at chest level. Considering the size of my cleavage, it makes me feel self-conscious.

[Radio_Guy]

30. A few of my preferences

Preferable college educated, but definitely has to be out of high school

Enjoys art and music

Morals and ethics are a must

Enjoys life and travel

Must be fiscally responsible

Must have enough self esteem to take care of herself hygienally, wear clothes that are tasteful and keep her body reasonable fit.

Aware that sports actually exist

Not afraid to try new things

I used to limit myself to women in their 20s and 30s but now 50 isn't as old as it once was.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

32. Okay, here's something new for y'all:

A teen who isn't about sex! :wow:

This is like my dream list, right here:

1)Intelligence, especially in the arts/history/English/foreign languages/philosophy/etc. I'm not at all anti-science, but I'm more naturally drawn to people who are arts nuts like I am.
2)Deep appreciation for the arts, especially music (of which jazz must be a passion, to a certain degree) and writing.
3)Opinions, baby. :evilgrin:
4)Progressivism is an absolute must--a man I eventually marry MUST be willing to let me keep my own name, not wear a veil at wedding, etc. So in other words, he's got to be a feminist himself.
5)Independence--I don't want a pretty puppy dog at my heels. But neither do I want a freewheeling bastard.
6)Loyalty. End of the line. No ifs, ands, or buts.
7)Trust/Honesty. Again, no halfways.
8)Sensitivity. How is it that women can be relatively tomboyish, but men are still discouraged from being "girly"? Absolutely ridiculous.
9)A bit of a bohemian personality. Eccentric can be very good, and certainly a nonconformist needs another nonconformist. ;)
10)A limited/extinct desire to procreate. :evilgrin:

And, on top of it all, I add:

11)A fucking sense of humor, for all's sake. ;)

And that's only the beginning. I have ridiculously high standards, some of which--progressivism, loyalty, trust/honesty, intelligence, a relative sense of humor/nonconformity--I refuse to compromise.

Looking back, I begin to think that what I need is a woman in a man's body....:evilgrin:

[Derailer]

34. Good luck dating the living dead

10)A limited/extinct desire to procreate.

compounded by

11)A fucking sense of humor, for all's sake.

:D

[WritingIsMyReligion]

51. LOL!

:rofl:

[Oeditpus Rex]

54. So, if I don't age for like the next 25 years

we can hook up, maybe?

:hug:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

59. Heh; yeah!

That'd be good with me!

:hug:

[Derailer]

33. No butterfaces

"...great body but her face..."

[JVS]

36. you're picky

My stipulations
1) Must be well tempered (don't have to be funny, outgoing or anything, just as long as you aren't a raging maniac is fine)
2) Must be able to keep a place neat (I wouldn't care if I were good at being neat, but two slobs is a recipe for eviction at the hands of the health deparment)

[Boojatta]

39. "Not necessarily in this order: 1) College education ..."

You wouldn't be interested in getting to know people who are like Eric Hoffer, Thomas Edison, the Wright brothers, or Steve Jobs?

[JVS]

40. Mmmm dating the wright brothers, kinky!

[Lydia Leftcoast]

43. I agree that butt-in-seat time in school is not important

I taught college for 11 years, and I know how many idiots get diplomas, especially in the "practical" subjects.

Besides, one of the most intelligent and witty men I ever met never finished college. He was also gay, which is one big reason why we never got together.

I don't care what school a man went to. I care about whether he has continued to learn throughout his life, and I don't mean baseball statistics.

[Whoa_Nelly]

47. Hoo boy...this college part has some people busy...

It's important to me for several reasons, not the least of which is that there is a need for me to have this commonality. It's that simple.

[alarimer]

58. I can't really explain what it means to me

I actually prefer certain backgrounds to others. Biologists/other scientist types over business degrees for sure. I think the reason I prefer someone with a degree in something (whether or not they actually use it) is that the FAR less likely to be threatened by the fact that I am pursuing an advanced degree. That is my experience, which may be somewhat limited, but still all I have to go on.

[BlueIris]

49. In the alternate universe in which I will meet a person

interesting enough to "get to know better," like many here, it would be all about compatibility. I don't really have a list anymore, as dating is...so far down on my list of priorities as to be laughably insiginficant, but, in no order: someone who reads for pleasure, (a college degree wouldn't be strictly necessary for me anymore, I guess, because I have met a number of passionate auto-didactics in the last few years who are intelligent, culturally literate and can hold a meaningful conversation about a diverse number of subjects who technically never completed--or started--undergraduate work) someone who is feminist, someone who is a voting, liberal Democrat, someone who is sterilized and someone who isn't still dealing with serious emotional or mental issues--sorry guys. Wanna keep me interested in anything about you? Get your psychological shit together. Eclectic is fine. Idiosyncratic is fine. Chronic, long-term unaddressed mental concerns--go to therapy for yourself if nothing else. It's what grown-ups do and in my humble opinion, far more men in this society need to get therapy than women. Mental health is a must. Physical health...'kay, I'm not really sure how much of a "deal-breaker" less-than-perfect-health is for me anymore, as I myself am far from perfect. Communicable disease might be a turn-off depending on the nature of the illness and how much it interfered with the relationship, but if I fell in love with someone who had one--I don't know. Many conditions are manageable and treatable, and if it were reasonable to expect to be able to keep from getting that person's issues, well, hopefully we could negotiate a safe way to be together companionably. I exercise daily and eat organic and would be unlikely to have much in common with someone who didn't do those things, I think. But if he ate Cheeto's once a week instead of whole grain crackers, I think I could probably live with that. And of course, he would have to be willing to put up with my questionable taste in music and periodic insomnia/loquaciousness in response to insomnia.

Yeah, by the way, I realize that singledom is a place I may never leave. Smart people don't settle, though. There are always hobbies.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

53. At my age? Jeez...

I'd be happy to find someone with a pulse and no recent felony record.

[Deja Q]

55. ...

1. Is living.
2. Is interested in me.
3. Can handle a, um, unique personality...


Doesn't sound much like high standards, does it? :D

[Ptah]

56. She would have to have lived in my city at least a year.

Have her own income.
Be able to teach something to me - ballroom dancing - horticulture - painting ?
Remember the Beatles on Ed Sullivan.
Have a farm or ranch background.
Will let me cook.

I'm sure there's more.

:shrug:

[Guava Jelly]

57. Well if my present relationship go to hell in a handbasket

I'd like my next love interest to be

1 Liberal
2 truthful
3 faithful
4 caring
5 like me for who i am
6 enjoy actually spending time with me.

or she can have big hooters and own a liquor store..lol just kidden

[RFKHumphreyObama]

60. Perhaps my standards are too high

But here is my list (not necessarily in order)

1. Mature in her perspective on love and life
2. Someone who is respectful of and who is prepared to live with a person with a minor disability and the demands that it may involve (which are not that significant actually)
3. It would not be essential for her to be a liberal/progressive but she would have to recognize and respect my political views and beliefs and the active role it plays in shaping my life. I would expect myself to show the same respect and acceptance of her political views and beliefs
4. Someone who is prepared to at least respect and perhaps join me some of the time in my interests as I would be prepared to do for her interests
5. Someone who is not sport obsessed
6. Someone who is willing to compromise and meet half way on most issues
7. Preferably someone who enjoys art, literature and who is well-travelled but this is not a prerequisite

I tend to be attracted to women 10+ years older than me

[LibraLiz1973]

62. Here's My List

(1) A man who is fun & likes to laugh. Must have great sense of humor.
(2) likes to work but knows how to relax as well
(3) loves children... just not as much as Michael Jackson
(4) Must love music
(5) Someone who READS. People who don't kinda freak me out
(6) Someone who is courteous- kind to the elderly, strangers, homeless people, the handicapped.
(7) MUST BE TOLERANT. No homophobic weirdos, religious nuts or Racists.
(8) Someone who feels strongly about social issues



I'd never get involved with anyone with any of the following traits:

(1) Non voter. Thats a big one for me.
(2) Any history of spousal or partner abuse
(3) The arguer. You know the one- never lets any else be right. Ever.
(4) Chronic Yeller.
(5) Social Snob
(6) Someone who wanted a wife barefoot, pregnant & not working.
(7) Anyone who thinks Tom Cruise is a good example of a partner. : ~ )