Are people really that stupid? (some Tues. morning humor)

[caty]

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? +
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked
intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.
Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had
barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters,
officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police
line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced
him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the
kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in
the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store
clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up
and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't
control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the
lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man
shouted, "that's not what I said!".

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING???
A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes apart". "Is this her first child?" the
doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a
Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to
simulate a gun...Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.
(helloooooo)!

8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the
high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating,
were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get
their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every
maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of
trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone
there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check
revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the
out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and
pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath.
He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS
TRUE. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!



"Success consists of getting up just one more time than you fall." - Oliver
Goldsmith

(sent to me in an e-mail)

[liberalpress]

1. GEorge W. Bush is President -- twice---

---and you ask if people are that dumb

[caty]

2. This actually explains why

b*sh was elected.