Screw kudzu! It's going nowhere!

[Writer]

[Writer]

1. What - are you AFRAID???

Kudzu is goin' DOWN!

[uppityperson]

2. .

[Writer]

3. Kudzu is DEAD TO ME! n/t

[texanwitch]

4. Goats work better, they can clear a patch of kudzu in no time.

:popcorn:

[Writer]

5. Goats armed with tankards of Ortho...

I can see my victory ALREADY. :evilgrin:

[texanwitch]

6. Just goats.

Kudzu has very deep roots, thats why it is so hard to kill.

[Writer]

7. Kudzu - deep roots? HA! I will scorn you to death. n/t

[swag]

8. Exactly.

The free market will deal with it.

[Writer]

11. Kudzu futures have dropped by 34%...

I'm setting up a goat farm in my backyard.

[texanwitch]

9. See below

MANAGEMENT OPTIONS: For successful long term control of kudzu, the extensive root system must be destroyed. Any remaining root crowns can lead to reinfestation of an area. Mechanical methods involve cutting vines just above ground level and destroying all cut material. Close mowing every month for two growing seasons or repeated cultivation may be effective. Cut kudzu can be fed to livestock, burned or enclosed in plastic bags and sent to a landfill. If conducted in the spring, cutting must be repeated as regrowth appears to exhaust the plant's stored carbohydrate reserves. Late season cutting should be followed up with immediate application of a systemic herbicide (e.g., glyphosate) to cut stems, to encourage transport of the herbicide into the root system. Repeated applications of several soil-active herbicides have been used effectively on large infestations in forestry situations. Efforts are being organized by the U.S. Forest Service to begin a search for biological control agents for kudzu.

USE PESTICIDES WISELY: ALWAYS READ THE ENTIRE PESTICIDE LABEL CAREFULLY, FOLLOW ALL MIXING AND APPLICATION INSTRUCTIONS AND WEAR ALL RECOMMENDED PERSONAL PROTECTIVE GEAR AND CLOTHING. CONTACT YOUR STATE DEPARTMENT OF AGRICULTURE FOR ANY ADDITIONAL PESTICIDE USE REQUIREMENTS, RESTRICTIONS OR RECOMMENDATIONS.

NOTICE: MENTION OF PESTICIDE PRODUCTS ON THIS WEB SITE DOES NOT CONSTITUTE ENDORSEMENT OF ANY MATERIAL.

For more information on kudzu management, please contact:

Stratford Kay, Aquatic and Noncropland Weed Management, Crop Science Department, Box 7620, North Carolina State University, Raleigh, NC 27695, [phone]
[e-mail]
James H. Miller, USDA Forest Service, DeVall Drive, Auburn University, AL 36849 [e-mail]

SUGGESTED ALTERNATIVE PLANTS: Native vines such as trumpet creeper (Campsis radicans), pipevine (Aristolochia macrophylla), passionflower (Passiflora lutea), trumpet honeysuckle (Lonicera sempervirens), and native bittersweet (Celastrus scandens) have attractive flowers and fruits, provide food for wildlife and make excellent substitutes for kudzu. These plants should be used in landscaping and for land restoration where they are known to occur as natives.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AUTHORS:

Carole Bergmann, Montgomery County Department of Park and Planning, Silver Spring, MD.
Jil M. Swearingen, U.S. National Park Service, Washington, DC.

PHOTOGRAPHS:

Jil M. Swearingen, U.S. National Park Service, Washington, DC.

REFERENCES:

McKnight, B.N., ed. 1993. Biological Pollution. Indiana Academy of Sciences, Indianapolis, IN. 261 pp.

Miller, J.H. and B. Edwards. 1982. Kudzu: Where did it come from? And how can we stop it? Southern Journal of Applied Forestry. Pp. 165-169.

Randall, J.M. and J. Marinelli. 1996. Invasive Plants:Weeds of the Global Garden. Brooklyn Botanic Garden Club, Inc. Handbook No. 149. 111 pp.

Virginia Native Plant Society. 1995. Invasive alien plant species of Virginia: kudzu . Virginia Department of Conservation and Recreation, Richmond, Virginia.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Plant Conservation Alliance, Alien Plant Working Group.


I still think goats are better.

[Writer]

12. The bad poetry alone does it for me...

http://www.etext.org/Zines/Kudzu/current/current_issue_toc.html

Here's one:

Renga in a denim jacket
Bradley Earle Hoge


I reach into my pockets
and pull out fossils
collected

on field trips
Ordovician snails, brachiopods, and clams

I find rubber balls
Koosh balls
hot wheel cars

to keep my 3-yr old son
entertained

There's a checkbook, stamps
a funeral misselette
and business cards

from past jobs
and people I've met

Peppermint candies
empty wrappers, a comb
two pens, a pencil

note pad
with poems


Kudzu is the greatest threat to our nation's security. Fumigate. Fumigate to the end.

[texanwitch]

13. I love bad poems, this is a good one.

:rofl:

[riona]

21. Well, couldn't it be made into clean burning fuel?

:tinfoilhat:

[swag]

10. Kick.

[Writer]

14. Kicked by goats...

Killer goats.


They've already gotten to work. Nibble. Nibble. Nibble.

[ghostsofgiants]

16. Goats faint at the thought of kudzu...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we9_CdNPuJg

[Writer]

18. Goats won't faint at the sight of kudzu because kudzu is so...

ordinary.

Like this mossy tooth polypore. What is so exciting about THAT?

[Deja Q]

15. Only if it gives us its consent. Otherwise it's rape.

[texanwitch]

17. How to grow kudzu

Gardening Tips from Down South

How to Grow Kudzu

Choosing a Plot: Kudzu can be grown almost anywhere, so site selection is not the problem it is with some other finicky plants like strawberries. Although kudzu will grow quite well on cement, for best result you should select an area having at least some dirt. To avoid possible lawsuits, it is advisable to plant well away from your neighbors house, unless, of course, you don't get along well with your neighbor anyway.

Preparing the Soil: Go out and stomp on the soil for a while just to get its attention and to prepare it for kudzu.

Deciding When to Plant: Kudzu should always be planted at night. If kudzu is planted during daylight hours, angry neighbors might see you and begin throwing rocks at you.

Selecting the Proper Fertilizer: The best fertilizer I have discovered for kudzu is 40 weight non detergent motor oil. Kudzu actually doesn't need anything to help it grow, but the motor oil helps to prevent scraping the underside of the tender leaves when the kudzu starts its rapid growth. It also cuts down on the friction and lessens the danger of fire when the kudzu really starts to move. Change oil once every thousand feet or every two weeks which ever comes first.

Mulching the Plants: Contrary to what may be told by the Extension Service, kudzu can profit from a good mulch. I have found that a heavy mulch for the young plants produces a hardier crop. For best results, as soon as the young shoots begin to appear, cover kudzu with concrete blocks. Although this causes a temporary setback, your kudzu will accept this mulch as a challenge and will reward you with redoubled determination in the long run.

Organic or Chemical Gardening: Kudzu is ideal for either the organic gardener or for those who prefer to use chemicals to ward off garden pests. Kudzu is oblivious to both chemicals and pests. Therefore, you can grow organically and let the pests get out of the way of the kudzu as best they can, or you can spray any commercial poison directly on your crop. Your decision depends on how much you enjoy killing bugs. The kudzu will not mind either way.

Crop Rotation: Many gardeners are understandably concerned that growing the same crop year after year will deplete the soil. If you desire to change from kudzu to some other plant next year, now is the time to begin preparations. Right now, before the growing season has reached its peak, you should list your house and lot with a reputable real estate agent and begin making plans to move elsewhere. Your chances of selling will be better now than they will be later in the year, when it may be difficult for a prospective buyer to realize that underneath those lush green vines stands an adorable three bedroom house.

Tifton B Merritt

[Writer]

20. Damn it! I shoulda known that this started in the south!

:grr: :nuke: Damn those moss-lovin', fried-food eatin' south-nahs! :nuke: :grr:

Fumigate! Fumigate! FUMIGATE!!!

[texanwitch]

24. I do eat fried food but I just don't like the taste of moss.

Maybe if the moss was chicken fried, that's an idea.

[Writer]

30. Whaddaya know - deep fried kudzu.

Get yourself a bit of barbecue sauce and you're set for a treat!

[XemaSab]

19. Hey man, FUCK YOU!!!!!!

[Writer]

23. Actually, I'm a woman...

and I'm taken, thank you, so no you can't.

FUMIGATE!

[WritingIsMyReligion]

22. I don't engage in herbiality.

I am strictly a human-human lover.

:P

[Writer]

28. Maybe the Dalek's can FUMIGATE FUMIGATE FUMIGATE!

That would make me a machine-human lover...

[misanthrope]

25. Don't mock the kudzu!...

...For it knows!

[Writer]

26. This man knows nothin' 'bout Kudzu...

[texanwitch]

29. That man knows nothin' about nothin'

You know that stuff was already cut and put there for him.

[Writer]

32. Maybe we should ship him permenantly back to Texas...

and let the kudzu have him. :evilgrin:

[texanwitch]

33. We don't want that yankee back here in Texas, he can go home to

Connecticut and hang out there. Poor Connecticut.

[Writer]

34. What if we locked him up in a shed with a pile of kudzu?

He couldn't escape that, surely. The kudzu would be too much for him... unless he were to find a way to SMOKE the kudzu... :think:

[texanwitch]

35. We could make Bush cut kudzu to help save America from this

plant. He seems to like cutting stuff on his make believe ranch.

[BikeWriter]

27. Kudzu? What's kudzu?

:shrug:

[texanwitch]

31. Kudzu is all knowing.

It knows when you are sleeping

It knows when you are awake

It knows if you are bad or good

So be good for goodness sake



Ya'll know the rest, Santa had nothing on Kudzu.

[BikeWriter]

39. Santa is not a destructive alien invader...

...and kudzu doesn't bring presents.

[Writer]

41. This is starting to sound a little L. Ron Hubbard to me.

Kudzu was part of the alien invasion so many centuries ago. ;)

[BikeWriter]

43. It was used to control erosion but does it too well.

[texanwitch]

42. Kudzu could bring presents, they may be hiding under the kudzu.

[BikeWriter]

44. Well, uh, that's true.

[DBoon]

36. you said "kudzu"?

gesundheit!

[swag]

37. Here's a poor way of phrasing it, from the usually eloquent Keith Henson:

"Inducing people to spend effort in spreading a meme, as well as successfully spreading itself in competition with innumerable other memes, is the definition of a successful meme."

[Writer]

38. Bleh! Kudzu YOU!

May you kudzu in a pile of kudzus - you kudzu!

[wildhorses]

40. not according to the last post count I saw

it is off the chart HOT

[Magrittes Pipe]

45. 1154 replies for kudzu, 45 replies for "screw kudzu."

Score one for kudzu.

[Writer]

46. Yeah... YOU really got the Ortho reference above...

:eyes: Of course, I meant the KUDZU not the THREAD ... but the size of a thread seems to be more important than its content for some :eyes:

[Magrittes Pipe]

47. .

:eyes:

[Writer]

49. ;)

;) ;) ;)

[Major Hogwash]

48. Give it a chance!

It could be the next herkiest thing on the planet!

[Writer]

50. Wait... all you are saying...

is give Kudzu a chance?

You tree-hugging liberal kudzu-loving hippie you!

[texanwitch]

51. A tree-hugging liberal kudzu-loving hippie, yes I am.

:hippie: :hippie: :hippie: :hippie: :hippie: :hippie: :hippie: :hippie: :hippie: :hippie: :hippie: :hippie: :hippie: :hippie: :hippie:

[Writer]

52. Kudzu!

Gadzutheit!