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astonamous Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-22-06 01:53 AM
Original message
My friend with MS was left stranded in the shower for over 4 hours...
The aid that was assisting her left my friend in the shower...just walked out. Something to do with a shift change. No one came to replace her, and if my friend hadn't had a phone within reach, she would still be there.

Then to top it off, when my friend called the agency, they told her they didn't have enough people working to send someone over. My friend isn't on any type of assistance, she pays for everything herself. How could someone just walk out on her, knowing that she can't walk and couldn't get herself out of the shower, dry off and get dressed?!!!!!!!!!!!!?

I am glad that I was able to help. We have known each other since Jr. High and I took care of my dad through his MS, so this isn't new territory for me.

I am so shocked that someone could do that to another human.

Trudy
www.richardpryor.com
www.pryorsplanet.com
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NMMNG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-22-06 01:55 AM
Response to Original message
1. That is just wrong in so many ways
I've worked in human services for more than 18 years and I wouldn't dream of doing something like that. I do hope that aid will be fired and flagged so she can't get such a job again. She certainly shouldn't be caring for people! :grr:
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astonamous Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-22-06 02:08 AM
Response to Reply #1
4. Not to mention the company for which the aid works...
I am so pissed! Honestly, there was no emergency that wouldn't allow either the initial aid to wait until the next person arrived, or just finish and get my friend out of the shower at the very least.

Trudy
www.richardpryor.com
www.pryorsplanet.com
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NMMNG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-22-06 02:17 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. Indeed
There is no excuse for leaving someone in the shower like that, other than utter incompetence/lack of compassion.
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-22-06 12:38 PM
Response to Reply #1
15. Problems at the bottom typically signify bigger problems at the top.
I am not condoning she did the right thing by walking out, of course...
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NMMNG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-22-06 10:43 PM
Response to Reply #15
23. They can indeed
Having worked in human services for >18.5 years I've had my share of frustrations with intra-agency (as well as state) BS. Sometimes it pays to be creative in order to deliver quality services to the individuals being served while keeping the administrators happy.
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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-22-06 01:56 AM
Response to Original message
2. May I ask you something?
How does one stay strong (if there are any pearls of wisdom) when helping a friend though a chronic illness?

I am having trouble handling the depressing feelings I get when I try to help my friend with stage 4 cancer. Just wondered how you do it.
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astonamous Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-22-06 02:18 AM
Response to Reply #2
6. One of the hardest things to do is go through the final journey
with a loved one (friends included). It is also one of the most rewarding. When I got down or frustrated over the situation or started pre-living through the final stages, I always tried to think about what I would want if the roles were reversed. If it isn't a friend or loved one taking care of you in the end, then it is the loneliest journey of your life and the last thing you will ever experience.

Remember to laugh...everyday something happens that will make you laugh if you stop and thing about it. Just like tonight...I walked into my friends house, went to the back of the house to her bathroom and before entering the room, I tapped on the door and asked if she was decent. Didn't even think about it until she started to laugh.
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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-22-06 02:23 AM
Response to Reply #6
7. Thanks
Laughter is, as they say, the very best medicine...isn't it? :)
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Throckmorton Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-22-06 02:26 PM
Response to Reply #2
19. You just do.
We all die someday, and some of us die way to young.

There is no magic solution, I wish there was, but there isn't.
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Random_Australian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-22-06 02:00 AM
Response to Original message
3. I'm saddened. *sigh* the troubles of the world.
I'll fix it all someday.
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fudge stripe cookays Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-22-06 05:32 AM
Response to Original message
8. Oh, asto, I feel awful for your friend.
I'm so glad she had you there. That agency needs to be sued up to their eyeballs.

I pray I never find myself in this situation. But I'm well aware that could be me in a few years.

Thank you, from all of us with this awful disease. :hug:
fsc
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astonamous Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-22-06 10:43 AM
Response to Reply #8
11. I'm sorry you have to deal with the disease too...
The drugs are so much better these days and I hope that they are available to you and are helping. I truly believe that MS is one of those diseases that they will find, if not a cure, a damn good treatment to keep it suppressed.

As helpless as the situation was for my friend last night, she doesn't let the disease keep her from living her life. Actually, it is all the other medical problems that she has that keeps her busy with doctors and surgeries and what-not. She has the public transportation thing down to a science and is hardly ever home.


As Richard Pryor always use to say, "What doesn't kill ya will make you fat".

Trudy
www.richardpryor.com
www.pryorsplanet.com
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fudge stripe cookays Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-22-06 12:26 PM
Response to Reply #11
13. Thanks.
Betaseron has been a mmiracle drug for me. No flu-like side effects or anything.

I just have to deal with a little bit of serious neck tingles once in awhile and constant sluggish Jell-O legs. So much for those 6 mile walks I was used to taking!

And Richard Pryor knew what the hell he was talking about. Since the first attack last year...between the steroids and the depression, my looks are in the toilet!

But at least I can still walk. I can't complain too much. If I had to get diagnosed, this is the best time for it.

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astonamous Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-22-06 01:23 PM
Response to Reply #13
17. If you ever get the chance...
Richard Pryor did some of his later stand-up about the disease and its effects on him. Pure Richard Pryor style...he didn't hold back and sugar coat it at all, and yet gave everyone permission to laugh about it.

Trudy
www.richardpryor.com
www.pryorsplanet.com
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Robeson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-22-06 05:37 AM
Response to Original message
9. That is sickening....
...I'm sorry for your friend...:mad:
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ProfessorGAC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-22-06 08:06 AM
Response to Original message
10. Good For You
I have MS, too. However, i'm not disabled, so i don't need that sort of help. I'm glad you are both willing and able to help the way you did. Great job.
The Professor
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flamingyouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-22-06 11:02 AM
Response to Original message
12. That is just awful!
I'm glad you were there to help too. Luckily she has you for a friend.

But - good grief - I hope that she can hire a new agency and that she reports them to the state. Shame on them!!! :grr:
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LynneSin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-22-06 12:28 PM
Response to Original message
14. Do I smell lawsuit
because if that was me or a loved one, I'd be suing the pants off of the health care provider that provided such shoddy service. If the homecare aid knew that she was leaving on time at the end of her shift she(or he) should have NOT put your friend into the shower at that time. I mean, that's just a no-brainer.
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LaraMN Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-22-06 12:40 PM
Response to Reply #14
16. That was my first thought, as well.
Unbelievable and entirely inhumane. :-( x(
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mduffy31 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-22-06 01:39 PM
Response to Original message
18. I am a nurse
Edited on Mon May-22-06 01:47 PM by mduffy31
...and I work for a home care agency, but I work in their Vent facility so I am really not a home care nurse, but anyway. The aid should be fired immediately for that. You cannot leave a vulnerable adult in a situation such as that. If it was shift change it is her duty to stay there until someone comes to relieve her. If there wasn't anyone there to take over for her she is required to make sure that her client is safe before she leaves. I can understand here leaving if your friend is out of the shower, dressed and somewhere with water and food and easy access to a phone, but to leave someone hanging without the means to get help is inexcusable. PM me if you want some more information on that. This is the kind of stuff that really upsets me, it gives my profession a bad name, even though I am a licensed professional there is not excuse for a nurses aide to leave someone in the lurch like that.

:grr: :nuke:

On edit, I don't know if you friend also lives in Utah such as you state in your profile, but if you do this the the definition of abuse in the state of Utah as it relates to a vunerable adult. What the aid did is right in this.


ABANDONMENT: Any knowing or intentional action or inaction, including desertion, by a
person or entity acting as a caretaker for a vulnerable adult that leaves the vulnerable adult
without the means or ability to obtain necessary food, clothing, shelter, or medical or other health
care.


ABUSE:
(a) attempting to cause harm, intentionally or knowingly causing harm, or intentionally or
knowingly placing another in fear of imminent harm;
(b) unreasonable or inappropriate use of physical restraint, medication, or isolation that causes or
is likely to cause harm to a vulnerable adult that is in conflict with a physician’s orders or used as
an unauthorized substitute for treatment, unless that conduct furthers the health and safety of the
adult;
(c) emotional or psychological abuse;
(d) sexual offense as described in Title 76, Chapter 5, Offenses Against the Person; or
(e) deprivation of life sustaining treatment, except:
(i) as provided in Title 75, Chapter 2, Part 11, Personal Choice and Living Will Act; or
(ii) when informed consent, as defined in Section 76-5-111, has been obtained.

ELDER ABUSE: Abuse, neglect, or exploitation of an elder adult.

EMOTIONAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE: Intentional or knowing verbal or nonverbal
conduct directed at a vulnerable adult including ridiculing, intimidating, yelling, swearing,
threatening, isolating, coercing, harassing, or other forms of intimidating behavior that results or
could result in the vulnerable adult suffering mental anguish or emotional distress, including fear,
humiliation, degradation, agitation, confusion, or isolation.

EXPLOITATION: The offense described in Subsection 76-5-111(4).

INTIMIDATION: Communication through verbal or nonverbal conduct which threatens
deprivation of money, food, clothing, medicine, shelter, social interaction, supervision, health
care, or companionship, or which threatens isolation or abuse.

ISOLATION:
(a) …knowingly or intentionally preventing a vulnerable adult from having contact with another
person by:
(i) preventing the vulnerable adult from receiving visitors, mail, or telephone calls, contrary to
the express wishes of the vulnerable adult, including communicating to a visitor that the
vulnerable adult is not present or does not want to meet with or talk to the visitor, knowing that
communication to be false;
(ii) physically restraining the vulnerable adult in order to prevent the vulnerable adult from
meeting with a visitor; or
(iii) making false or misleading statements to the vulnerable adult in order to induce the
vulnerable adult to refuse to receive communication from visitors or other family members.
(b) The term “isolation” does not include an act intended to protect the physical or mental
welfare of the vulnerable adult or an act performed pursuant to the treatment plan or instructions
of a physician or other professional advisor of the vulnerable adult.

NEGLECT:
(a) (i) failure of a caretaker to provide nutrition, clothing, shelter, supervision, personal care, or
dental, medical, or other health care; or
(ii) failure to provide protection from health and safety hazards or maltreatment;
(b) failure of a caretaker to provide care to a vulnerable adult in a timely manner and with the
degree of care that a reasonable person in a like position would exercise;
(c) a pattern of conduct by a caretaker, without the vulnerable adult’s informed consent, resulting
in deprivation of food, water, medication, health care, shelter, cooling, heating, or other services
necessary to maintain the vulnerable adult’s well being;
(d) knowing or intentional failure by a caretaker to carry out a prescribed treatment plan that
causes or is likely to cause harm to the vulnerable adult;
(e) self-neglect by the vulnerable adult; or
(f) abandonment by a caretaker.


SELF-NEGLECT: The failure of a vulnerable adult to provide food, water, medication, health
care, shelter, cooling, heating, safety, or other services necessary to maintain the vulnerable
adult’s well being when that failure is the result of the adult’s mental or physical impairment.
Choice of lifestyle or living arrangements may not, by themselves, be evidence of self-neglect.
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astonamous Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-22-06 04:51 PM
Response to Reply #18
22. Thanks for the information...I will be using it.
My friend had a scheduled procedure today (outpatient) and I didn't want to upset her any more last night. I will call her later to make sure she is ok and get the name of the agency and the aid(s) that were suppose to be taking care of her last night.

Honestly, I am not familiar with my friend's "routine" and it only took me an little over 3o minutes to get her clean, dry, dressed and transferred back into her wheelchair. And you know how some of the "routines" can be.

Trudy
www.richardpryor.com
www.pryorsplanet.com
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MountainLaurel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-22-06 03:32 PM
Response to Original message
20. My friend's father had similar problems
Except his aide (not sure if she was licensed or from an agency or just some local woman he hired) wouldn't show up at all for a day or two at a time. Because he was completely incapable of getting out of bed on his own, he would just lie there without food or water. Each time, he would end up hospitalized with a kidney infection and/or pneumonia. My friend was barely surviving financially and couldn't afford to help.

The last time this happened, the doctors at the hospital refused to release him unless he could prove that he had adequate care. Of course, what the doctors considered to be adequate care wasn't available in this rural area, and my friend's father probably wouldn't have been able to afford it. As a result, he ended up moving into the long-term care facility at the hospital (and had to sell his house in order to get Medicare/SSI to pay for it).
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maveric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-22-06 03:40 PM
Response to Original message
21. In CA a Home Health Aide CANT just abandon a patient like that.
Especially leaving them in a shower! This is sick! The agency would be fined and shut down during an inquiry. The Aide would lose their license/cert and possibly face criminal charges.
WTF is wrong with the Aide? And the agency?
As a nurse and a former HHW, this is appalling! The patient could have drowned or died from exposure!
OMFG!!!!
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