Man Says Wife Shredded His Scrotum

[matcom]

<snip>

WITH THEIR wedding anniversary less than two weeks away, Howard Randolph was thinking romance. He hoped to take his wife, Monica, out for an intimate dinner and maybe an oldies-but-goodies show to celebrate 11 years of matrimony.

But yesterday, his mind was more on divorce and jail for his wife after she almost became Philadelphia's own Lorena Bobbitt.

Monica Randolph didn't need a kitchen knife. She took matters into her own hands.

The Nicetown man said he had been sleeping peacefully in the couple's bed Tuesday night when his wife pounced on him without warning, grabbed his groin, dug her manicured fingernails in and flayed him, leaving his gore-slicked gonads dangling much lower than normal.

"She didn't use no weapon - this was just sheer brute strength and fingernails. She grabbed me by my and ripped it apart with her bare hands," Randolph said yesterday from his hospital bed at Albert Einstein Medical Center, where he was in stable condition with stitched and bandaged genitals.

Randolph, 52, said the 10:30 p.m. attack jolted him agonizingly awake, but his consciousness didn't faze his single-minded wife, who, he said, continued to yank on his privates.

"She would not let go; I had to hit her to get her off me. My hand's all swollen from hitting her," he said, adding that the attack ended only after he fled the house, locked her in and limped to a corner pay phone to call police.

A neighbor who heard the commotion also called police, who took Monica Randolph into custody and charged her with aggravated assault and related offenses.

Talk about a strict violation of the penal code.

http://www.kansas.com/mld/kansas/14611477.htm

[jukes]

1. "gore-slicked gonads"

heh, heh; who hasn't been there?

[Arugula Latte]

19. The Gore-Slicked Gonads -- good name for a punk band.

:headbang:

[Kire]

32. more like death metal

[Love Bug]

Sweet Jesus!

I'm female and I hurt just reading that! I'd say that woman has some anger issues...

[RedCloud]

6. Where is your number?

How can they just chalk up a post by you and not give it or you any credit???

I demand a recount!

[Love Bug]

10. Hey! Where is my number? Scoundrels! Thieves! Number whores!

Ok. I feel better now.

[tonekat]

2. Just another day in Nicetown....n/t

[xchrom]

3. sometimes you heteros are just too strange for words.

the naughty bits are more fun ATTACHED to the person.

we had that one anomaly with that chap in milauwakee -- he didn't get the memo.

[peekaloo]

4. He "demanded that she receive a stiff punishment"

:eyes:

[RedCloud]

5. Usually I just make light of things like this...

But today i just don't have the balls to do it!

[Haole Girl]

7. When I first read the title of this thread, I thought..

how did somebody fit somebody's scrotum into a paper shredder?

[peekaloo]

9. or a "wood" chipper

:hide:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

13. SAME HERE.

:rofl::rofl:

[ContraBass Black]

24. I'm going to curl up and die at that very idea.

Goodbye.

[realisticphish]

8. well, thanks matcom

now that'll be stuck in my head all day :puke:

[leftofthedial]

11. that's the way marriage goes

it usually just doesn't happen all at once like that

[SteppingRazor]

12. Wow. That lady's really "nuts."

[pitohui]

14. his HAND is all swollen from hitting her?

dollars to doughnuts, the hitting her came first, then came the shredding of the gonads

no pity here for the wife-beating jerk, sometimes the worm does turn

[HEyHEY]

18. Could we at least see proof of that?

Before we accuse this guy?

[redqueen]

20. or even a CLAIM

fucksake

[HEyHEY]

21. Yeah, no doubt

A lovely little bit of hypocrisy. When women are abused and people say, "well it's her fault...yada yada yada," They are (Rightfully) told to shut up. But when a man is mutilated by his wife, without even so much as an accusation of abuse from the wife, this guy is suddenly a wife beater who deserved it.

Fuck, I'm leaving society to open a lemonade stand on mars.

[redqueen]

22. It's bullshit...

absolute bullshit.

Mars is so far away... how about Ohio?

[HEyHEY]

25. Only if you're there

Hubba hubba

[redqueen]

26. Heh heh

Give me time.

*rubs hands together menacingly*

[SlavesandBulldozers]

27. mars too far? try Florida. n/t

;)

[Zuni]

29. even if he DID hit her

there is no excuse for a savage mutilation. condoning this would be like condoning the death penalty for stealing

[Rabrrrrrr]

30. Yeah, so much for due process and the law. Fuck it - for a liberal,

playing judge and jury in the same way that the Ku Klux Klan does, so long as it's aimed at men, and perferably white men, is totally okay.

Yeah, if the KKK made the point you just made about a black man whose scrotum had been destroyed by a white woman ("I bet the black guy was trying to rape her!"), you'd be going apeshit.

Oh, hypocrisy - the smell of thee is most wondrous and comforting.

[redqueen]

34. amazing that so little outrage is shared about that comment

or not?

either way... disappointing

[Rabrrrrrr]

35. It was the same way with that LaCrosse team accused of rape

So many "liberals" who would otherwise chastise someone heavily for insinuating that a guy must be guilty since he's black, were perfectly willing to assume the guilt of the men in this case simply because they are sports guys of college age.

The hypocrisy around here about finding people guilty and/or kicking people's ass for being judgmental or bigoted is astounding.

[npincus]

15. show me the proof!

[Oeditpus Rex]

16. If SNL were as edgy as it once was

one of the cast would be all over this with a Bass-O-Matic-type commercial for the Scrote Shredder.



Yes, it's just that simple!

[SlavesandBulldozers]

28. "that's good bass!" n/t

[JVS]

17. That's fucking horrific

[Major Hogwash]

23. Yeo-ouch!

And I thought it was bad, when she took the blender!

[LaurenG]

31. That is a horrible story!

I would love to know why she thought she should do that? He had every right to knock her out cold. What an awful thing to do to someone.

[retread]

33. Played it at a high rate of speed with good technique? n/t

[Rabrrrrrr]

38. through a Marshall stack, too!

[Placebo]

36. Shread dat shit up.

[ContraBass Black]

37. "A neighbor who heard the commotion"

I can't imagine the sound a man would make when torn. :scared:

[bullwinkle428]

39. #573 on the "Reasons for me not to Remarry" list!

:rofl:

[Shine]

40. OMG, those words should NOT be arranged together.

the visual is just too scary. I can only imagine what the real thing must be like. Poor guy.

Jeez, you're really good at finding the most bizarre shit on the 'net to share! It's a special talent of yours, right??

:hi:

[iconoclastic cat]

41. I am now going to sleep with a spiked cup and a shotgun. nt

[Deja Q]

42. Maybe he should have waited the remaining days...

Then she wouldn't be clawing away at the package, trying to find something that's not there...

:yoiks: