T-Shirt Philosophy

[mykpart]

Therapy is expensive, Beer is cheap.
What to do, what to do?

Pissing off the whole planet
one person at a time.

When I snap, you'll be the first to go.

I'm confused - wait . . . .maybe I'm not.

I'm trying to see things from your point of view,
but I can't get my head that far up my ass!

Eat your vegetables. It will change the color of your poop.

My Anger Management Class pisses me off!

People like you are the reason people like me need medication.

Save the trees - wipe your ass with an owl.

My giveadamner is broken.

My parents said I could be anything, so I became an asshole.

Do you wear a hat so you know which end to wipe?

Why are you still here? The stupid people left hours ago.

I used to have a lot of friends, until my therapist and medication took them away!

Jesus loves you, but I'm his favorite.

Don't tell me to relax; stress is the glue that holds me together.

Does wine count as a serving of fruit?

I married Miss Right; I just didn't know her first name was Always.

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but a true riend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn, that was fun!"

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
-Benjamin Franklin

I drive way too fast to worry about my cholesterol.

No, it's OK. I'm interrupted by morons all the time.

[ForrestGump]

1. Some of the wittiest things I've ever seen I saw on T-shirts

And some of the dumbest, too, of course... :-)