Be a rock snob - post your delusions of grandeur here!

[derby378]

This was inspired by Losing My Edge by LCD Soundsystem, which is a damn good song about a rock snob coming to terms with the new kids on the scene.

OK, here goes:

I drank Kirin Ichiban with Randy Rhoads in an Osaka bar afterhours, where I told him, "Bail out of Quiet Riot and let Kevin DuBrow have his fun. Your destiny lies elsewhere."

[asthmaticeog]

1. I gave Taylor Hanson his first STD.

Warts, if you must know.

[tigereye]

2. I once had a dream that my bizarre indie band played

at Madison Square Garden. How's that for delusional....:D

[dolo amber]

3. I bought Def Leppard's drummer's arm for $18,000

Hey, crack ain't free y'know.

[wildhorses]

4. oh...hell yeah...I am a rocking bitch of a singer

and my band is totally RAD...
we travel on my lear jet..
I can go on with this...

[XemaSab]

5. I introduced John to Yoko

:bounce:

[XNASA]

6. As I'm leaving my hotel room to get into the limo........

...that's taking me to soundcheck, I get into the elevator and one floor later Iggy gets in with two beautiful women who keep calling him "Jim". On the way down to the lobby, Iggy collapses to his knees and pukes on the floor. One of the women turns to me and says, "Sorry. He's really fucked-up. What are you doing later?"

[Beware the Beast Man]

7. I ate vindaloo with a founding member of Ministry.

One other time, his cat hissed at me.

[asthmaticeog]

9. Which one?

[Beware the Beast Man]

10. Upper left.

But it may have been Bryan Adams, I just don't remember. Too many margaritas.

[XNASA]

15. Man, that is just too surreal.

[eyesroll]

8. I chatted on AOL with Ed from Live, right after "Mental Jewelry" came out

and I told him for his next record, he had to go much, much more pretentious or it would never sell. And to think, he wanted to go more simple.

I was only 16, but Ed said he'd consider my advice.

Was I right, or was I right?

[Squeech]

11. Played the blues with Fred Frith

And Henry Kaiser taught me some Beefheart licks (which I have regrettably forgotten).

And I once played "Fracture" on mandolin for Robert Fripp-- not the whole piece, but the real fast whole tone lick. Doubt I could cut it now. My glory days are unquestionably behind me.

And then there was the time I proposed to Maddy Prior, lead singer of Steeleye Span...

[dolo amber]

12. I can't *prove* Bowser from Sha-Na-Na is my real father...

but my mom *was* at Woodstock. :tinfoilhat:

[tyedyeto]

13. Oh! You mean music?

After spending time with my son, who just graduated from college with a degree in geology, I thought you meant ... rocks! :rofl:

[tigereye]

21. well, then you need a REAL rock story TDT

about strata and stuff....

[taterguy]

14. Ben Folds steals lyrics from me

[SouthoftheBorderPaul]

16. I once received a letter from Henry Rollins

It said something like, "Here's the tee-shirt you ordered. Stay warm."

[no name no slogan]

17. I was having tequila-n-quaalude shooters with Gram Parsons...

...in the 60s, and I told him the whole "rock" thing was a passing fad. What he really should do is learn some Porter Wagoner songs and buy himself a Nudie suit.

So he baked some hash brownies laced with Ex-Lax for David Crosby. But David got so damn sick he had to quit the Byrds and take a couple years off to get his shit together out in Laurel Canyon (literally). Thankfully Gram was handy so he convinced Roger and Chris to let him take over the band.

And the rest is history.

[swag]

18. I snorted beefy rails of _______ off the top of the paper towel dispenser

with ___ _______ and _______ _________ in the gents' room at the original Dante's in Washington, DC in the summer of 1990. ___ _______ later used a line of mine from that evening in an interview with Spin.

[tigereye]

20. name dropper!

:D

[swag]

23. Shameless, isn't it?

I just don't know what the statute of limitations is on that and related activities.

[Initech]

19. I came up with the idea for Pink Floyd to use that giant inflatable pig

Of course if they were still touring these days, you could substitute a giant inflatable pig for Rush Limbaugh, and there would be no difference.

[dysfunctional press]

22. i choked on tommy bolin's vomit.

nt

[jobycom]

24. The guitar work for Free Bird was based loosely on an interpretation

of several notes I played on a nose harmonica as a child.

[Fenris]

25. I encouraged John Denver to take up flying experimental aircraft.

[XNASA]

26. My hero.

:loveya:

[HEyHEY]

27. I told TIna to leave Ike

[RedStateShame]

28. My band was too loud for New York City

A club in New York City--where, if I'm correct, Sonic Youth, the Ramones, the Velvet Underground, and Pussy Galore, among others---said our music was too loud. I don't know if that means New York's been sissified or if we're really that godawful loud.

[ghostsofgiants]

33. So YOU'RE the real reason CBGB's is closing?

[kwassa]

29. went to art school with the Talking Heads

who were in a pre-TH band called the Artistics.

At the time I had a job a local TV station, and remember sitting in the cafeteria explaining a group of fellow students some of the TV industry slang, including the expression "talking head" which is the basic interview head shot of somebody saying something. Most boring shot in news photography.

I might have named the band! But, probably not.

[CanuckAmok]

30. I was Pete Best's manager, and I know I did the right thing for him.

[Wetzelbill]

31. Gwen Stefani just had a kid a few days ago

Not only is it mine, but we conceived it while listening to "Don't Speak" and eating oranges. ;)

[ghostsofgiants]

32. Joe Strummer died immediately after meeting me.

Meeting me was his spirit's ultimate goal on earth, and as such, after meeting me, his purpose on earth had been met.

[KamaAina]

34. I fixed Elvis his first peanut butter and banana sandwich.

He loved it so much he thrust a bottle of pills into my hand... I don't really remember much after that...

[Throd]

35. I killed Jimi Hendrix

I had to. Or he would have gotten old and fat, recording Michelob commercials and collaborating with Phil Collins.