I petition that the US drop "soccer" and adopt the proper term "football."

[Writer]

Now that we have joined the rest of the world in engorging ourselves with the World Cup, I think an assessment of our domestic jargon is long overdue. For too long we have utilized the rusted derivation of football slang called "soccer." It feels odd that such a large nation as this one must refer to this sport in this manner while every other nation uses "football" or a variation of "football." It parallels in horror to Bush's use of the term "nuculer" when every other English-speaking nation says "nuclear." Let's not continue the butchering of our adopted tongue... okay?

... which introduces the question of what to call that other "football" with which we are all too familiar. The one with the large jock straps, excessive padding, and bountiful girth: so sadly American. Oddly, their feet never touch the ball. In fact, with the exception of kick-offs, extra points, and field goals, it's illegal to kick the ball in American FOOTball. Why is that? Why must we confuse an already confused nation? I think it's time for a some national self-evaluation. I propose that American football be changed to American WUSSball. But why, you might ask? For starters, take a look at all that padding. Now take a look at the REAL football we witnessed in the World Cup. Other than shin guards, did you see any padding? Those boys are cut from wood, run approximately three miles per game, while repeatedly slamming into other players. Now, who's the real men here? And who are the wusses? I rest my case.

I'm sure my proposal will catch like wildfire. In days every water cooler chat will entail this most important issue. Soccer no more! Long live football!!!

Sincerely,

Writer.

[dubeskin]

1. As much as I would agree, I don't

It would be too hard for people to change. Americans hate change. Most people would stick with the old terms, soccer and football. It would be easier to keep it teh way it is, though I wish we could change.

[Giant Robot]

20. Somehow I don't think that hating

change is uniquely a United States thing. Just a thought.

[everythingsxen]

2. I agree

But what name to call it then? Blitz perhaps?

[Bassic]

8. Or American football?

Like the rest of the world does? Works for me anyway.

[hfojvt]

3. football is already too violent

and you wanna call them wusses?

[Writer]

4. Hell, yeah.

Take the padding OFF. Now let's see what happens when they play. ;)

[billyskank]

6. Take the padding off and you get rugby

Actually, that's not really true, the rules to rugby are somewhat different.

[Bassic]

9. The rules to rugby are very different.

I still can't make heads or tails out of it. But the general mechanics of the two sports are similar, so your analogy is still valid.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

19. What happens is you roll around and cry like sissies.

Then hop back up and pretend it never happened. :-)

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

18. Because head butting your opponent is non-violent.

:eyes:

[Writer]

22. Yeah... and that happens EVERY DAY on the pitch

:eyes:

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

38. Seems to happen every day either on or off the pitch.

Or you could substitute stomping on an opponent, racial slurs by tens of thousands of fans in unison, or pretty much anything else.

Look, I am a fan of soccer. I draw the line at your putting down other sports to making your own seem better (all emphasis on the word "seem").

[Writer]

39. And I draw the line at your not seeing the tongue-in-cheek quality of this

post! Good God, is this really the most important issue of the day?

[pokerfan]

5. I petition that the world drop "football" and adopt the proper term

Lawn-diving

[Anarcho-Socialist]

7. some name changes for sports

Baseball will be called "rounders"
Basketball will be called "bouncy-ball"
Hockey will be called "Angry Canadians on ice"
Football(U.S.) will be called "Rugby with padding and stoppages for commercials"

That would be cool :)

[Bassic]

10. Well, soccer is only called soccer in North America,

so technically we already did change the name, and would simply be reverting back to the original.

[tjwmason]

13. Soccer is frequently called soccer over here.

Mostly as a synonym for football, but also by some rugby fans who refer to rugby as football (technically soccer is "association football" and rugby is "rugby football").

Refering to the American sport as football is somewhat odd though, given that (as I understand it) the feet practically never touch the ball (as they do in soccer and rugby). :crazy:

[Bassic]

27. Actually, in american football, the ball is frequently kicked

Either as a punt at the end of a teams 4 offensive downs (3 in canadian football) or as a field goal attemp. It is also kicked to do a 1 point conversion after a touchdown. :D

[WilmywoodNCparalegal]

11. Hockey...

it's also angry Carolinians on ice :D

Lest we forget, the Carolina Hurricanes won the Stanley Cup...

[Patiod]

23. Yes, but were any of the players actually FROM Carolina?

I doubt it. Primarily Canadians.

I propose we call it Angry SMELLY Canadians on ice - have you ever SMELLED a hocky player after a few games in the same unwashed padding? Sit near the entrance to the ice sometime :scared: :scared:

[KamaAina]

32. Hell, were any of the *fans* actually from there?

Or were they all expats from Connecticut and environs -- just like the team itself? :grr:

[Crazy Dave]

12. America can't even learn the metric system

n/t

[Fox Mulder]

14. I agree...and we should also switch to the metric system.

[Anarcho-Socialist]

15. You godless commie

Why do you hate 'murka? :)

[JVS]

16. No. We already have football and it's a better game than soccer

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

17. No.

I'm a soccer fan, but no. I'm a football fan first.

Sorry. :-)

[Giant Robot]

21. To explain this simply

NO.

[Spaceman Spiff]

24. Screw that!!

Let the rest of the world use the proper term which is "soccer"!

[T_i_B]

25. You can't be American!

Talking common sense like that! ;-)

[underpants]

26. We already have one

[ScreamingMeemie]

28. Being a fan of both, I cannot agree with changing the name to Wussball...

Go Packers!!! :hi:

[Dutch]

29. "Soccer" is a perfectly proper term too...

It's just short for the game's proper name, association football- the word's often used in the UK, and is the usual term used in Australia.

Actually, I think the nation of the world champions should be given precendence, and we should all start calling it calcio.:)

[Writer]

34. So soccer is derived from association football...

so that means rugby apparently has morphed into this bastardized, freakish, vehemoth-infested game called American football. That's kind of creepy and I think a great reflection of the nature of American culture.

But... consider Australia: anyone follow Arena Football? That's Australian rules football brought to the US. They're able to kick the ball to one another as a pass.

It's like languages, ya know? Once another society adopts a tongue they make it their own. Look what we've done with rugby! :cry:

[HEyHEY]

30. Nope, I think it's a nice quirk we have

And the rest of the world can fuck off if they don't like it!

[long_green]

31. Wusses? Let's match up Zidane versus Ray Lewis

Footballers are tough guys but anyone who's played U.S. football knows that the padding isn't protection for wusses, but weapons for psychos.
Not that the original post says this but I love it when some people suggest that Americans should adopt football because it's the most popular sport in the world when you know damn well that popularity is the reason they hate U.S. football. Just what do you think is the #1 sport of beer drinking louts in Europe? It ain't the NFL.

[Burma Jones]

33. We should just call Soccer ---- Women's Football

Our Women are a world power in the sport and should be afforded the honor....

American Men should not be ashamed to play "Women's Football"

[LSK]

35. Yes!!1 and we rename "basketball" to "baseball" and

"baseball" shall now be known as "golf" and "golf" shall be eliminated because it is not a sport!

:popcorn:

[Writer]

36. Whaaaa?

:shrug:

[gkdmaths]

37. technically, its futbol

but that sorta depends on where youre at too.

meh, who cares?

:shrug: