From bad to wuss: 'Blender' lists rock wusses

[kurth]

Blender, the Q-meets-Maxim music mag that has soared past Spin in influence thanks largely to its penchant for making endlessly debatable lists of just about everything, has turned its collective attention to a truly burning topic -- the wussiest rock acts ever. Here are Blender's top 10:

10. Hilary Duff
9. Chris Martin
8. Babyface
7. Rascal Flatts
6. Kenny G
5. Peter Cetera
4. Boyz II Men
3. Dan Folgelberg
2. Nick Lachey
1. James Taylor

See the full list in the Blender issue on stands July 18. Also in the issue is an arbitrary top 16 (well, it's all arbitary, but I mean the number 16 is especially arbitrary) wussiest songs ever. The mag has programmed them as if they were an old-fashioned two-sided vinyl record; check out their sequencing and snarky commentary July 18, but meanwhile, if you want a sneak alphabetical peek at the 16 songs, continue onward. The Blender Wussiest Songs Ever List (alphabetically by artist):

Air Supply/All Out of Love
James Blunt/You're Beautiful
Debby Boone/You Light Up My Life
Bread/If
Captain & Tennille/Muskrat Love
Chicago/You're the Inspiration
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young/Our House
Dan Fogelberg/Longer
Taylor Hicks/Do I Make You Proud
Dan Hill/Sometimes When We Touch
Michael Jackson/She's Out of My Life
Loggins & Messina/Danny's Song
'N Sync/God Must Have Spent a Little More Time on You
Lionel Richie/Hello
Simon & Garfunkel/Scarborough Fair
Stevie Wonder/I Just Called to Say I Love You

http://blogs.usatoday.com/listenup/2006/07/from_bad_to_wus.html

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

1. never mind.

brain fart.

[MrSlayer]

2. Is it even fair to call these people rock?

Hillary Duff? Boyz II Men? Sure everyone on the list are total wuss music makers but to call them rock is ludicrous.

I could add a bunch to songs list but as a starter I have to say these are on the money.

[Strawman]

3. Where's "Him" by Rupert Holmes?

[Aristus]

4. Do any of these really even qualify as rock?

Most of them fall under the heading of 'Pop'.

"You Light Up My Life" is in 3/4 time, which is technically a waltz. Rock and Roll is ALWAYS 4/4 time.

[unpossibles]

9. no it's not - listen to Zeppelin, Soundgarden or a number of others

unless they aren't rock... but most of the "greats" have used a variety of time signatures, from Sabbath to Zeppelin, to the Bealtes, to the Stones to "newer" bands like Soundgarden and Tool.

I would agree that 4/4 is the most used time signature in rock, but not that it's always used.

[HughBeaumont]

5. There's approximately ZERO rock artists on this list.

And "Scarbourough Fair" is a masterpiece.

Like Trender has the credentials to make fun of ANYone. Over-cluttered, bandwagon-hopping, starfucking, thinks-they're-witty-but-they-really-just-suck piece of shite is what that magazine is. I thought SPIN were the experts at Radiohead/Jack White/Eminem nut-swinging, but this rag takes the cake.

[ghostsofgiants]

6. I'm not sure which sucks more...

The music listed, or Blender.

[WoodyTobiasJr]

7. What the hell happened to Spin?

It used to be a pretty decent magazine. It's where I found out about Interpol, Snow Patrol and other good "underground" bands. I just saw the latest edition (with Beyonce on the cover no less) and when I flipped through it, it was filled with this top forty crap. Admittedly I haven't read Spin in quite some time so I don't know if they changed or if this was just a one off.

[Mike Daniels]

13. The list isn't from "Spin" it's from "Blender"

Same publisher that puts out Blender also puts out Maxim if I recall correctly.

Despite that connection Blender is generally pretty entertaining and has a good review section.

[WoodyTobiasJr]

14. D'OH! Ok thanks.

I am still curious as to what happened to Spin though B-)

[RedStateShame]

8. What happened?!

Did Bright Eyes and the Dashboard Confessional guy cancel each other out, or did they finally kill each other in the mother of all slapfights?

Edited because tough guys make typos.

[Phillycat]

10. HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

:thumbsup:

[Magrittes Pipe]

11. Where's Paul McCartney?

:shrug:

[swag]

16. Heck yeah. Or Howard Devoto.

[LostinVA]

12. But... none of them are Rock

Some are Pop and some are Folk.

[Bridget Burke]

15. Get with the program, folks! It's The Coming Thing!

The Raw Power of Really Smooth Music
Climb aboard the Yacht Rock revolution at this week's Michael McDonald/Steely Dan show
By John Nova Lomax
Article Published Jul 13, 2006

For the entire run of its just-ended, one-year voyage, the Internet comedy series Yacht Rock charted a Chardonnay-soaked course through American song's silkiest, most velvety waters. Those would be the late-'70s, early-'80s light rock scene in L.A. that, as host "Hollywood" Steve Huey put it, "docked a remarkable fleet of hits" by Michael McDonald, Kenny Loggins, Toto, Steely Dan and the Eagles. (You can view the series in its entirety at www.channel101.com/shows/show.php?show_id=152, and we strongly advise that you do, at least if you want this article to make any sense at all. And if you want your life to improve a thousandfold.)...

And as hard as it may be for people in their thirties and forties to believe, yacht rock music is a hot youth subculture in certain hipster-ridden cities. The creators of Yacht Rock the show had a pretty tight focus in mind -- to them, the only true yacht rock music was made in L.A. by the Doobie Brothers/McDonald, Loggins, Cross, Hall and Oates, Steely Dan, the Eagles, Toto and a few others, all of whom actually collaborated in real life.....

London, Chicago, Brooklyn and San Francisco all now sport yacht rock DJ nights. Houston is both behind and ahead of the curve, or more accurately, we're ahead because we're so far behind. Yacht rock-friendly local stations Sunny 99.1 and The Wave are both top ten in Houston, so it's not like these songs have gone away here, the way they have in more trendy places.

www.houstonpress.com/Issues/2006-07-13/music/racket_full.html

I haven't visited the Yacht Rock site. Damn, I lived through those years! But, after the Lounge Music Revival, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.

[RedStateShame]

17. I remember the early days of Yacht Rock....

back then, we called it "shit."