my life is a total fucking joke

[anarch]

So get this: my girlfriend has been working on getting a final check out of her former employer for like two months now...not much money at all, but we are poor as dirt so it was a big deal, and she finally got the check in the mail yesterday. Thank God, right, 'cause we literally have nothing at all, only enough food to get us through a couple of days, literally zero dollars and nothing left to sell, so that $140.00 or whatever was such a relief.

So, she has to go to a check cashing place after they closed her bank account a while back. She gets the check cashed, goes to meet a couple friends, AND GETS ROBBED ON THE WAY HOME, LOSING ALL THE MONEY!

She wasn't hurt, thank God, but what the fuck? Just amazing. I get paid at the end of the week, so I doubt we'll actually starve to death, but I'd just like to say to whoever robbed us: Burn in Hell!

[miss_american_pie]

1. Oh I'm sorry

:hug:

[Guava Jelly]

2. so sorry Man that sucks @$$

I'm glad your girlfriend is safe..At least there is that.

[tibbir]

3. What a horrible experience!

You can live on what you have until you get paid. Just be sure your girlfriend is comforted - she must feel very violated right now. I'm sending my best thoughts to both of you. :grouphug:

[graywarrior]

4. That totally sucks!

[jobycom]

5. She's safe. That's worth the money, any day. nt

[anarch]

6. yeah, that's the perspective I'm trying to keep

and trying not to blame myself for not having been there.

[jobycom]

8. I just found out about something horrible that happened to someone

dear to me over 25 years ago, and I still went through that blame thing. I think it's just fear, and since the thing that creates the fear is already over, you get a lot of weird emotions.

On top of your money problems. Can't be easy to deal with. Sympathies.

[xchrom]

7. i want to validate you -- that really sucks.

sorry about your girlfriend -- and i'm glad she is ok.

[alcibiades_mystery]

9. She didn't get robbed, dude.

Think about it.

[progmom]

10. awww geez

that's not a cool thing to say.

[alcibiades_mystery]

12. Sorry, I have a suspicious character

It served me well as a fraud investigator. Admittedly, I always cast a wide net, and most people would turn up just with bad luck. That might be the case here. But this one sends my Spidey-sense reeling.

[ScreamingMeemie]

13. It doesn't mine...and I'm glad it doesn't OP's either.

Trust is a basis of a relationship...and I always shake my head here at those who question the bad luck of others. If you can't feel badly for OP, just leave it alone. This is really mean.

[alcibiades_mystery]

14. Who said I don't feel badly for the OP?

It's a terrible situation, to be sure, and I sympathize.

As for trust being the basis of a relationship, I agree.

[1monster]

33. You don't think that those who want to rob someone wouldn't stake

out a check cashing place? In the DC area? :eyes:

One thing I've noticed about those in law enforcement and insurance investigations and that kind of career (having been around those career types quite a bit over time) is that they always seem to develop that "everyone is guilty of something attitude, they just haven't been caught yet." (It always makes me wonder about the person who believe that way...)

[alcibiades_mystery]

36. Oh, I'm sure that plenty of folks have their eyes on these places

And?

It was credit card fraud, by the way, and I already admitted to the "wide net" problem. ;-)

[wildhorses]

11. ewww....once bit ...twice shy

and always suspicious....know the feeling



but, on the surface, sorry for the bad shit. the story sucks any way you look at it



:hug:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

15. Yeah...she took the 140 and is on a European vacation

:sarcasm:

Look..even if your spidey sense was triggered as an investigator, there would be a way to inquire and a way not to.

Immediately invalidating the comments of the OP without inquiry doesn't speak well to investigative skills, since certainly if you doubted the story, there might be cause for a few questions in between the suspicion and the conclusionary statement you made.

[anarch]

16. haha!

Even I'm not as suspicious as Mr. Investigator here, but I'm also not an idiot. It was a snatch-and-run kind of robbery, and she has what's left of her now empty bag and wallet, recovered from where it was dropped a few blocks away, and a police report (that I'm sure is going to do a whoooole lotta good...I'm sure the Metropolitan Police Department has their absolute best detectives on the case) to vouch for it.

Anyway, thanks for the laugh. I'm very glad for two things: that she wasn't hurt at all, and that it really wasn't all that much money.

[alcibiades_mystery]

17. If it was a real investigation

You'd certainly be right. Since it is an internet message board, I chose to skip right to assertion. ;-)

I guess the questions that I'd really like answered are as follows: Was anyone with her when she was robbed? What was she doing with her friends after her visit to the check cashing place? Did she file a police report? If so, was she the impetus to file it ("I want these people found even if the money's gone!")? If not, was she the impetus not to file it ("They're never gonna get the money back anyway, so why bother?")?

Here's an alternative theory of the case. She cashes the check, and feels a bit flush. If they're as short as anarch says, $140 feels like something in one's pocket. So, she goes out with some friends (more her friends than anarch's friends), and spends a bit freely. Not a lot, not all of it, but enough to cause a fight upon return, maybe $45 (easy to burn through when you're out with friends and feeling a bit flushed). She realizes that this spending was frivolous given their situation, and that a fight might happen, which she wants - to her credit - to avoid. The tone of anarch's post - understandably upset - leads me to believe that he would also be upset if she showed up with $100, or, say, $93 instead of $140. So, she comes up with the robbery story. It avoids the fight, and also leaves her with some money, so it's not the end of the world.

:shrug:

[anarch]

19. well, you're right about the feeling flush and going out on the town part

But wrong about that starting a fight. We've been living on about $20 a week or so for food and expenses for a while now, so she deserved to go out for once, as long as she didn't spend all of the money, and I fully expected her to go out and have some fun with her friends. Seeing as she is now back down to $0.00--I mean, everything is gone from the wallet...I bet whoever grabbed it is pretty pissed at the total lack of credit cards, too--and seeing as she is going to be pretty hungry this week too, I'm inclined to believe her story. And yeah, she did file a police report, just as a formality. This was on a very busy street, with literally thousands of people around, and recently beefed up police patrols, too. We are in a "crime emergency" here in DC, apparently.

[alcibiades_mystery]

20. OK

Cheers. Thanks for humoring me. (Follow her at lunchtime ;-))

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

56. So you use your history as an investigator to justify your cynicism

then conveniently claim it had nothing to do with your post to justify your lack of diplomacy in responding to the guy?

Again, your alternate theory is nothing but conclusionary without any inquiry.

See...in my line of work, I have to cross examine experts...mostly physicians. They are tricky and want everyone to believe the conclusions they reached are correct even if they aren't. Since my work often determines whether an individual will be screwed financially for the rest of their lives, I sometimes need to ask a series of questions to undermine the conclusions reached by the experts I depose.

Either way. The guy posted because he was bummed. It was damn skippy of you to suggest that not only was he broke, he was also an idiot who was duped by his GF.

[alcibiades_mystery]

58. Oh relax

anarch seems cool with the posts. why ain'tchoo?

schoolmarmish, for real.

:eyes:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

64. And that was a complete non sequitur to my post

[alcibiades_mystery]

65. Actually

It follows precisely that you're being schoolmarmish. Cheers!

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

66. So people taking you to task is grounds for an ad hominem?

YOur debate skills are almost as impressive as your investigative skills.

[Name removed]

68. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Radical Activist]

22. That was my first thought as well.

But I'm just cynical.

[NoPasaran]

34. No matter how cynical you get

It's impossible to keep up.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

39. My first thought as well.

Sometimes I wish I weren't so cynical.

[Hosnon]

70. I guess I gotta join the cynicism club...first reaction as well...nt

[SOteric]

18. Click this link

http://www.capitalareafoodbank.org/gethelp/

And don't be reluctant to ask for the help you need. :hi: Much luck to you and your girlfriend.

[anarch]

21. thanks!

That is much appreciated. We aren't going to starve, I promise. It's just a bummer.

Not as much so as this guy's story that was in our local free weekly paper, though. This sort of puts things in perspective:

http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/districtline/2006/mugging0714.html?navCenterTop

[pitohui]

23. are you sure?

goes out to meet some friends and comes home w. no $$$ and a story of being robbed

when we got legalized casino gambling around here, then prosecutions for filing false police reports tripled

a lot of time when honey don't come home w. the money after a night out w. the friends, there is an alternative explanation to having been robbed

i'm just sayin

i know, i have a dirty suspicious mind so you don't have to tell me so, i already know it!

[anarch]

26. apparently that's a common response

but yeah, I'm pretty sure in this case.

[TK421]

24. Was she held at gunpoint? By a knife? I would suggest she starts

carrying pepper spray ( if she doesn't already ) from now on. Sorry to hear about it

[pitohui]

27. nah

she has a story of her purse being snatched and is now showing her honey an empty wallet as "proof"

i don't think she is in need of any pepper spray but if she has a history of drug use, gambling, etc. i think i'd dump her

[anarch]

28. she had pepper spray

It was in the bag when it got grabbed. And she's really upset, by the way, much as I've been downplaying that part of it. People get robbed all the time around here. So the thing to do is never carry more money than you're willing to give up to a mugger.

[pitohui]

29. well i have a suggestion

why on earth don't you use a money belt to carry concealed money, instead of keeping the cash in the purse

i live in new orleans, a purse is to carry a lipstick and a cell phone (which can be turned off if stolen), money would not be carried in the purse on the street, once at the bar or wherever she went w. friends, a quick trip to the ladies' room allows her to take out enough money to pay for her share of the tab

you wouldn't walk around w. cash in a purse in europe and they prob. don't have half the crime we do

[anarch]

30. I know, I know...it was stupid

Carrying money like that is something she "never does"...and you know how it is the one time you do something you "never do". Don't think she hasn't told herself all this a couple times since last night. But hey, fuck it, at least nobody got hurt.

[ScreamingMeemie]

31. Hey look, if you can't say anything nice, hide the thread.

Is that so hard to do?

[alcibiades_mystery]

32. Calm down, Mom

Nobody's getting hurt.

[ScreamingMeemie]

35. Not your mom...sorry.

But this person is not asking people to be smart asses, and yet they can't seem to help themselves...

Hide thread is the little x btw.

[alcibiades_mystery]

37. Who's being a smart ass?

You put something out there, expect alternate explanations. That's the nature of this thing called discourse. I've never hidden a thread on these boards, and I never will. Salud!

[ScreamingMeemie]

43. I guess I stopped at feeling sorry for anarch, because the situation

sucked. Had he asked for my opinion on the character of his girlfriend, perhaps I would have given it then.

The meanness of people on these boards blows my mind sometimes.

[alcibiades_mystery]

46. Once again, you misrepresent

Nobody gave him their opinion on the character of his girlfriend. People offered alternatives for what might have happened. There would be plenty of good reasons for making up the robbery, in any case. You interpret any action you don't like as mean, you're gonna go through life bitter, dear.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

40. Hey, we're not trying to rip the dude to shreds.

We're just saying.

It is possible to comfort someone while reminding them of any alternate explanations. I really do hope it was a genuine robber, as strange as that may sound, because it would suck ass even more to find the gf had, for some reason, lied.

:shrug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

41. My point is this appeared to be a commiseration thread.

If OP had suspicions and wanted validation I guess he would have posted that. :shrug:

Is it so hard to be nice here anymore?

[WritingIsMyReligion]

42. Whoops.

I'll go shut up now. Apparently I drank too much cynicism this morning.

:crazy:

[ScreamingMeemie]

44. Oh please...

[WritingIsMyReligion]

53. That's it? That's all?

:crazy:

[ScreamingMeemie]

54. Yes. That's all...

[alcibiades_mystery]

47. I'm still trying to figure out what was "not nice"

:shrug:

As far as your interpretation of the "kind of thread" this is, I can't speak to your standards, but this is an open board. Maybe we need a "commiseration" forum?

[WritingIsMyReligion]

52. "Maybe we need a 'commiseration' forum?"

:rofl:

[ScreamingMeemie]

55. This one used to work quite nicely.

[alcibiades_mystery]

59. before all the eeeeeeevil mean people showed up

:rofl:

how much they selling sanctimony for these days, grumpy?

[ScreamingMeemie]

60. Try and have a nice day alcibiades.

:eyes:

[alcibiades_mystery]

61. usually do

:*

[Midlodemocrat]

63. Are you kidding?

You don't 'comfort' someone by injecting your half baked theory that his girlfriend robbed him. You don't know him or her. And just because you are so cynical, which is pretty sad, actually given your youth, doesn't give you the right to cast aspersions. If he was wanting advice regarding his girlfriend's story, that's a different issue.

[alcibiades_mystery]

69. Actually, anyone has a right to cast aspersions

If it reflects badly on one's character to do so, that's another matter. ;-)

Besides, no one is claiming that his girlfriend robbed HIM. It was her money, after all...

[SeattleGirl]

25. Man, that sucks!

I'm glad your girlfriend is okay. But the rest of it is nasty. Hope things turn around for the two of you soon.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

38. No offense meant to you or to the gf, but, to me, that sounds fishy.

I hope you trust her. :(

I'm so sorry to hear it, though. No matter what happened, whether she spent it or there was a conspiracy on behalf of the former employer (highly doubtful, but still!), or whether she was robbed--losing that money sucks ass.

:hug:

[anarch]

49. yeah, I trust her

and I'm pretty sure there was no conspiracy on anyone's part. Getting robbed is just part of life here.

The last time my apartment got burglarized, I didn't even bother filing a police report, because...well, it wouldn't have done an ounce of good. Wish I could have seen the face of whoever went to the trouble of breaking in...at that point I was so poor, I didn't even have any furniture in the place, not even a bed. They stole about $3.50 in laundry change, which was about half of my total money at that point, but didn't find my guitar so I was happy enough to leave it at that.

Life is absurd. In case you didn't see it before, check this story out, with the tagline "Bloomingdale man fights off attacker, gets cuffed."...it has basically blown my mind today:

http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/districtline/2006/mugging0714.html?navCenterTop

[WritingIsMyReligion]

51. See, robbery is a totally alien thing to me.

Southern Maine isn't exactly the robbery capital of the world. :D

Best wishes to you and the gf.

:hi:

[ScreamingMeemie]

45. anarch. I'm so sorry this happened to you and your girlfriend.

Here's hoping things start looking up. Have you contacted the police?

[anarch]

48. hey, thanks

I'm half hesitant to kick this, as it seems to have turned into some kind of bizarre flame war (jeez, you step out for a little while, and...), but I did want to say thanks.

And yeah, she only had to walk a couple of steps to contact the police, there are are several dozen that patrol the area where she was--on foot, on bikes, in cars, sometimes on horses. They didn't, and undoubtedly won't ever, find the guy. It's a high-traffic area...a purse-snatcher's paradise, really. That's just how it is around here. Somebody got shot about a block away the night before, also on a nice crowded street, so really it could have been a whole lot worse.

I just thought it was absurd to go through all the nonsense she did to finally get that damn check, and then to lose it within hours like that. Some day maybe she'll let me post the story of how her bank account got closed, if you want something really hilarious to read. If she had been able to use a bank, this wouldn't have even been a possibility.

[NewWaveChick1981]

50. Jeebus----I'm sorry!

That really sucks. :hug: I hope it gets better soon. I'm glad she wasn't hurt.

[reyd reid reed]

57. Damn...

I'm sorry.

[Midlodemocrat]

62. Anarch, I'm really sorry this happened.

And even sorrier about some of the replies on this thread. Hope things work out for you and check your PM.

[RagingInMiami]

67. You have a girlfriend who loves you

Your life is not a fucking joke. This is just a bump in the road, which we all have to go through. These experiences breed character.

Hang in there.