Some poems of mine, if y'all really care...

[tinfoil tiaras]

I just wanna see what all of y'all here at DU think about my poetry. Here's two. BTW...is this posted in the right place? I figured the lounge was a good place for this...

Mixed Emotions
Your bitter sweetness pulls me in
And slowly, cruelly, pushes me away
I toil over your cryptic signs
What do they mean?
What do you mean?
What are you?
What am I?
I’m the not-so-shy girl who thinks your bowl-cut and your red cheeks are the cutest thing
I close my eyes and wait for you to take me away
But you don’t
And leave me here in my world.

and my other one...

Mississippi
Interstate 55
The main artery of this barren land
Filled with businessmen and tourists alike
Asking the dreaded question
Did we come far enough?

Heavy humid smoke fills the lungs of
The heavily declining population
For those who know better leave
When and if they can
Because they know the answer to the question
Did we come far enough?

From formerly polluted sands of the storm-ravenged coast
To the white, flat fields that mock some so
The affluent suburban mansions still stand tall
And give us the answer to the question
Did we come far enough?

Tell me what you think.

[Chan790]

1. They're incredible

I especially liked Mississippi. It captures the state well, that is what in my experiences travelling there, life on the Gulf Coast feels like.

Mixed Emotions felt incomplete and made me want more detail, but considering the content perhaps that's what you were going for?

[tinfoil tiaras]

2. Thanks

That's exactly my experience, living in the state for all 14 years of my life.

I guess incompleteness is what I was going for, but hell, I don't know. I wrote that on a bad day, anyways. In Creative Writing Class (C. Dubbz is the nickname) at camp. I think it's kinda cheesy, if you wanna know the truth... :blush:

[tinfoil tiaras]

3. More poems...

This one's called "Meeting Mike Mills". It's about when I met him in Atlanta in 2004.

Meeting Mike Mills
Whoosh.
Bam.
The moment is here, now.
My heart was fluttering faster than a hummingbird
He was talking to
Me
He noticed me.
And he was the sweetest possible person there
He gave me a big hug
and called me "Sweetie"
If I died then
I would die a damn happy girl
So Cliche'
But do I care?
He gave me an autograph
And a memory that will last a lifetime.

Next up is a poem about my cousin (me speaking as her)
Freedom
I draw a huge breath
From the water that confines me to this place;
This barren, ragged wasteland.
I want to get away.
Get away from the dance shoes and tennis rackets
That keep me here
I want to do what I want; not live my mother's dream
of beauty pageants and head cheerleader
and my father's dream
being a pro-tennis star
I'm a child
I don't know what I want to do.
I want to be free.
Not have to worry about my appearance
And such fickle things.
I wanna do what I want.

And the last one, it's about the same guy as the first poem was;;

My Subconscious
He doesn't like you.
Let me say that again.
He. Doesn't. Like. You.
That boy has some issues he needs to work out
With himself and himself only.
You can't help him if he doesn't want your help
Face it. He's a weirdo. But I still love him.
Something is holding me back from letting him go.
I love his "dorky-cute" self.
I can't let go. But I should.

[ChickMagic]

4. Are you my cousin?

She's even been in Time magazine. Meaning, that
your poems are great.

[tinfoil tiaras]

5. Wow, that's cool.

Thanks.

Haha, at first I thought you were serious about me being your cousin...=)

[ChickMagic]

6. Hee hee. Everyone on DU is family to me. :)

I'm not a poetry fan, but I liked your poems very much.
That has to say something, doesn't it? I hope it's
something good.

[tinfoil tiaras]

7. Aww, thanks!

:hug:

[ChickMagic]

9. Back at ya!

[otherlander]

8. Those are really good...especially Mississippi.

It really captures the human mood of it.

[tinfoil tiaras]

10. I got the idea of that poem as I was riding down I-55 on a school trip

after graduation. Thus, I quickly wrote it down as soon as I got home. =D

[otherlander]

12. Cool. Not to steal your thread or anything,

but this is a poem I was working on yesterday. I haven't thought of a title yet, so for now I'm just calling it Letter.

My dearest Enemy
Friend,
I do not write you
to make amends.
(and I never will)

We met before
in amiable peace,
two naive
fools were we.
I hold nothing against you;
I see what happened.

We walked our paths to the same goal
and the angle at which they parted
brought us around to face each other
enemies working for a common good.

When next our paths cross
on the fated plain
we will both have seen the abyss,
where you saw humanity
rampant with its own dark side
Where I saw people
neatly aligned to follow the leader
and act as executioners.

With a nod to each other
our swords will crash,
we will reach understanding
but inevitably clash
and echo great battles past,

Brothers, who, Union and Confederate, vie,
Or master and apprentice samurai, my
Enemy
Friend.

BULLSHIT.
That's not what will happen.
We both know it.

We come in the name of
We gather for the purpose of
How dare we disrupt the
peace.

No higher plain where philosophies vie,
only noisy streets and blackened eyes.
Making accusations and arrests.

We may never cease our fighting,
I will never make amends,
Respectfully yours,
an Enemy Friend.

[tinfoil tiaras]

13. It's cool. You're not stealing anything....

BTW, your poem was really good! =D

[wildhorses]

11. .........

:thumbsup: