Accept Jesus, get a Free Play Station 2

[Catch22Dem]

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0104/ps2.html

Kids! Accept Jesus Christ as Your Lord and Savior and Get a Free PlayStation 2!

This offer is for children and teenagers only! It may not be used in conjunction with any other Landover Baptist salvation offer.

Hey kids! If your Mom and Dad didn't buy you a PlayStation 2 for Christmas, you can still get one FOR FREE! Have you ever heard of Jesus Christ? Well, He's heard of you! And He wants you to have all the cool toys your parents are too cheap to buy! In fact, the Lord Jesus is very upset with your parents that they didn't give you all the latest stuff that every kid in America deserves! And Jesus has got your back, because He is your homeboy! If you've never heard of Jesus, He is an invisible cloud-dwelling deity (infinite lives!) who loves you very much and wants nothing more than to give you a free PlayStation 2!

Before the comments start rolling in from the newer folks, LandoverBaptist.com is satire. Funny as hell, and oftentimes scary, but satire.

[Reciprocity]

1. My fav was...

Lamb of god has hoof-in-mouth disease.

[Catch22Dem]

2. My ALL TIME landover favorite is the "Tampons: Satan's Cotton Fingers"

article. http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0999/cotton.html

[Reciprocity]

4. OMG I forgot about that one and it was the first one I read over there.

[Catch22Dem]

6. Same here

A DUer posted it a few years ago. I was in tears laughing. Of course you had plenty of people who didn't catch the whole satire thing, so their responses made it that much more hilarious. Was it wrong to laugh at my fellow DUers? :evilgrin:

[tinfoil tiaras]

3. I. LOVE. LANDOVER. BAPTIST.

It might take me a while to find my favorite article on there, cause they're so many, but I do like the little "Make Your Own Bible Creature" in the "Kristian Kidz Korner". ROFL. :rofl:

*edit* This one's a contender...
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0703/biblecamp.html

"Vacation Bible Gun Camp"...:rofl:

[philosophie_en_rose]

5. Playstation 2? Jesus is cheap.

:P

Now if he gave away Playstation 3s... :)

[ikojo]

7. This is so close to the truth of what many fundie

ministers preach, it's eery. Many fundie ministers preach the prosperity gospel that whatever you give to (preferably) their ministry the lord will return to you ten fold. There was an article in the St Louis Post Dispatch a couple of years ago about a guy who made approx. $30k per year and gave much of his money to Joyce Meyer ministries, believing that if he did so he would receive god's blessings back ten fold.

http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/special/joycemeyer.nsf/0/F50ADCD5BDFEA78086256DE100245318?OpenDocument

After 9 years of giving, man has no Chrysler, no wife, no wealth
By Carolyn Tuft
Post-Dispatch
11/17/2003

snip

Not so long ago, Schneller spent his days hanging on Meyer’s every word. The money he gave her — $4,400 a year — surpassed his annual mortgage payment. He and his wife lived on $30,000 a year.

“She teaches you that if you give a seed offering, it will come back tenfold or a hundredfold,” Schneller said. “I know it sounds ridiculous, but you get caught up in it. You believe it as truth.”

snip

A year later, in 1985, the Schnellers started attending Life Christian Center, near their home in Fenton. At the center, they learned what Schneller calls the prosperity message: If you give, you will get more in return. And there they met Joyce Meyer, then an up-and-coming preacher.

[NewWaveChick1981]

8. Hallelujah! That's what I was waiting for.

Video Games for Jesus. :P