Any single du'ers ever use online dating services?

[Fountain79]

I actually have a profile on match.com...and no..you can't see it. It seems like I only seem to draw attention from women who I have no interest in. Anyone have success with online sites?

[Fountain79]

1. I guess not...

:rofl:

[jpgray]

2. My bro has had success with it

[RagingInMiami]

3. The secret is

Saying you make more than a $100,000 a year.

[jpgray]

4. That and having the username 9"whenflaccid

[Fountain79]

5. Sadly that would be false advertising...n/t

[RagingInMiami]

8. So how many female profiles have you come across

Where they rave about how much they love sushi?

[Fountain79]

9. wha????

I'm sorry...you lost me there.

[RagingInMiami]

10. When I first moved back to Miami, I tried match.com for a month

And it seems as if all the women cut and paste each other's profiles. It was rare to find any originality. They all love sushi. They all work out. They all want men making more than $100,000.

[Fountain79]

11. Hmmm...

I've seen a few where there are similar profiles in what they say. But I haven't seen a glut of women searching for guys in the 100,000 range. Then again I live in a different part of the country(Missouri).

[RagingInMiami]

12. Yes, it's definitely a Miami thing

I used to do that when I lived in Arizona and had very good luck with it. Better luck than I did when I went out to a bar or club.

In Miami, it's much easier to meet women in bars and clubs than online, I discovered.

[ThsMchneKilsFascists]

27. anyone who sayz they need x amount of income in a prospective date

is always looking for a higher bidder

[Chiyo-chichi]

52. And they all feel compelled to tell us that they are

equally comfortable in a pair of blue jeans or an evening gown.

[RagingInMiami]

7. Or as NWA used to say

"I'll slap you with nine inches of limp dick"

[everythingsxen]

6. I have used online dating services...

and have had success, even when I wasn't looking for success.

[alarimer]

13. If by success you mean a long-term relationship, then no

But I have met quite a few people that way. One was a liar from the get-go but most have not been that bad. I just never seem to connect with anyone but that is true offline as well.

I don't think I am bad-looking (and people tell me I am not) but I can't seem to get anyone to see me a second time. I mean I have had literally THOUSANDS of first dates but almost never have second dates. I am kind of a shy person, not outgoing at all, which may have something to do with it but no one is willing to give me a chance. NO ONE. People suck.

I am starting to think that I will spend my life alone and I do not like it one bit. It's scary knowing that I could die and no one would notice (at least for three days when my boss would notice my unexcused absence).

My problems socially have nothing to do with how I meet people. Online services are just a little faster. I could NEVER walk up to someone anywhere and strike up a conversation. I cannot do it; I just cannot. I never know what to say, am lousy at all the "small talk" bullshit and can flirt if my life depended on it. I swear, I think there is something wrong with me or I never just learned how to be social.

[Fountain79]

14. Have you considered alcohol?

I'm amazed at the bullshit I let fly out of my mouth with a few pints under my belt.

[alarimer]

15. yes

I am way more fun when I drink.

[Fountain79]

17. But seriously....

I'm a strange bird...I can start a conversation with almost anyone but damn if I am lousy at flirting and/or knowing if a girl is flirting with me. I will say this as a guy. It's always refreshing for a girl to make a first move, hell buy a drink, it hardly ever happens to us. Our maybe hardly ever happens to me.

edited for spelling

[never cry wolf]

48. Thousands????

Wow, I wish... I am not questioning your honesty but imagine what it is like for a guy with the same inhibitions that could NEVER walk up to someone anywhere and strike up a conversation. I cannot do it; I just cannot. I never know what to say, am lousy at all the "small talk" bullshit and can flirt if my life depended on it. I swear, I think there is something wrong with me or I never just learned how to be social.

I am there with ya except the males are "supposed" to be the initiators... It seems as if a female only has to stand there looking good and myriads of guys will flock around... (except shy lil ole me)

[alarimer]

51. Well that is an exaggerration

I think it is more like 100 or something maybe.

I guess if I looked like a supermodel it would be okay to be shy but I don't so mostly I stand around (at parties, etc) holding up the wall!

[L A Woman]

16. the stigma seems to be gone...

for the most part, anyway. I know lots of people (very attractive people) who have met their mates this way. Of course, L.A. is a very isolating city and perhaps more people do online dating here. I have a few problems with the idea; 1) I can't be attracted to someone just by looking at a photo of them, 2) everyone says great things about themselves (lies!) and they all say the same shit and you know in real life they are annoying as hell and 3) I don't want to waste my time with these people who I may or may not ever want to see again and I don't know how to say to someone, "Ummmm, I never want to see you again." And they likely would feel the same way about me.

So I would just rather volunteer at the pet shelter or meet people some other "in person" way. :-)

But online dating seems to work really well for a lot of people. Stay away from E-Harmony - i think they are fundies!!!!

[RagingInMiami]

21. I got rejected from E-Harmony

About two years ago. I had just gotten out of a relationship and that creepy guy kept on raving about E-Harmony on TV.

So I said, what the fuck, let me give it a try. They made me fill out a long questionnaire, telling me I should be as honest as possible so they could hook me up with that special person.

So I was very honest and answered every question and they told me, "sorry, we don't think we can find a match for you."

If I ever do stand up comedy, I will write a skit about it.

[LisaLynne]

40. I would take that as an accomplishment.

Honestly. That's like the coolest thing I've ever heard. :)

[RagingInMiami]

42. Believe me

I bragged about it for months afterwards.

[philosophie_en_rose]

45. Sorry. You're apparently not worthy

to be hit upon by tactless, needy, stepford-wife seeking, job deficient republicans.

:P

Lucky you.

[alarimer]

24. Also too many conservatives in my area

I have gotten to the point that I list my political affiliation up-front and I only answer those ads who specifiy liberal or "middle of the road" (which actually a lot of times means they are fairly liberal but afraid to say so). But it means fewer potential responses.

[ForrestGump]

18. Watch out for women wanting 'sugar daddies'

But maybe that's just Las Vegas where I've heard very often that half the women listed in personals and the like are either professionals or otherwise out to separate men from their money by appealing to their hearts and points south (and, given the town's overhwleming focus on pursuit of the Almighty Dollar by Any Means Necessary, I'd tend to believe this happens a lot). I'm sure that most women in this metropolitan area are not the mercenary type I hear so much about from frustrated men, but I've looked at craigslist.com a few times here (idle curiosity) and therein a massive proportion of the real (i.e., not spam for some Web site) listings of women who want men include some mention of him spending lots of money on her. Some even go all out and suggest that the lucky gentlemen fly them from Cleveland, or wherever the f***, put them up in a fancy hotel on the Strip, and give them money to gamble with in exchange for 'a good time' (it's undoubtedly cheaper to have that good time with a professional here, anyway). Some just come right out and say "I want a sugar daddy" -- at least they're being honest. These are extremes, but they're common here and maybe it's the same elsewhere. In more subtle cases, keywords to look out for include 'generous' and 'spoiled' (as in 'spoil me').

I haven't used any services of this sort -- not yet (I meet a lot of interested women and could and undoubtedly should follow up with some of them, but I have been thinking that an advantage of online dating could be that you can get to know the person inside, to some extent, before you meet them and have their presence affect your view of them) -- but for a while there I became kind of morbidly fascinated by online personals as a kind of social phenomenon, and I saw the words 'generous' and 'spoiled' a LOT when I looked locally.

Be careful. It's a well known fact that many men have a hard time supplying blood to two certain disparate portions of the body at the same time and some of the women listing themselves with these services know that full well.

[Fountain79]

19. Oh I am a teacher....

a gold digger is wasting her time with me.

[ForrestGump]

20. If I find an extra sugar mama,

I'll send her your way. :D

[sendero]

22. I found...

... my current wife (ok, I've been married before) online and we have as close to a perfect marriage as there is IMHO. We've been together since 1997, and will be till death do us part.

While I was looking for her, I met lots of women online, dated lots of them and like in real life some were duds and some were gems.

If you go about it the right way, meeting MOTOS online can be really great.

[philosophie_en_rose]

23. I tried E-Harmony.com

A well-meaning older relative bought a few months for me, and insisted I try it.

It completely misread my personality, and I'm repulsed by most of the matches.

There are many, many religious fanatics, control-freaks, and Republicans.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

34. My experience,too

E-Harmony would have been great if I had been interested in Republican, Baptist insurance salesmen with an SUV and a boat in the driveway of their trophy house in 15 miles out of the city. :puke:

[L A Woman]

37. and I don't think they have a same sex section - you must be straight n/t

[philosophie_en_rose]

43. And they're racist too.

I listed my race as Asian (no multicultural option that works for me), and all I get are guys that want a little Asian housewife.

I even had guys that specifically replied that because I was Asian they expected that I would want to "fulfill traditional gender roles" by being a baby machine or some racist's stereotype about Asian women as whorish, house-cleaning slaves.

[Kat45]

50. I wouldn't call the site itself racist, perhaps just the men

the site attracts are racist. I've been on eharmony and they've matched me up with black men (I'm a white woman).

The guy who started it/heads it is a fundie and I think it was more fundie in its earlier days, but once the site started doing heavy advertising I think it may have attracted a wider variety of members.

[philosophie_en_rose]

53. I'll concede.

But the site enables racists, that's for sure.

I must admit that a lot of the stereotyping comes from Asian men too.

[JesterCS]

25. okcupid.com

i met my first girlfriend there

[Reverend_Smitty]

28. I went to Okcupid for the quizzes

but I'm too chicken to put up a real profile...I guess I have nothing to lose by trying, right?

[sakabatou]

31. Just put my profile up

(sakabatou19)

[Kat45]

26. I met someone online who I've been seeing for 3 months now

I'm really enjoying seeing him, but we've decided to take things slowly. I wasn't attracted to him at first, so I almost didn't follow up, but I decided I should take a chance and I'm glad I did. And since I've been seeing him, I've become quite attracted to him. We have a lot in common and it turns out we've been in many of the same places at the same time in the past. I met a number of men through online dating sites, but this is the first pairing that could go somewhere. I hope it does. :-)

[Blue_Tires]

29. i've used match, yahoo

aol back in the day, and some (*ahem*) adult-themed dating sites...i had the most success with yahoo and ironically aol, even though i haven't used it since 2000

[taterguy]

30. Spring Street Networks worked perfectly for me

Responded to an ad in December 2002, marriage followed and happiness continues

[Ohio Joe]

32. I used match.com

and did not have a single good expierence. Every single woman I met with either turned out to be nothing like what their picture looked like, nothing like what their profile descriped or both. Hustlers looking for sugar daddies, crazies, married women and more. I'll never use an online dating service again.

[ForrestGump]

46. Yeah, a lot of the ones I've perused featured photos of Angelina Jolie

or other random models, etc. And then there're the kind of profiles that say the woman's caucasian with blonde hair and their picture's of a black woman.

If I was going to use one of these services, I wouldn't place much confidence in the person who placed the ad looking anything like the picture they uploaded, and if I met som eone with such a profile I don't think (all things being equal) I'd be disposed to think especially kindly of her providing such a false front. A lie's not a great way to start a relationship of any kind, no matter how little physicality may play into the big picture.

[Tyler Durden]

33. It's how my wife found ME.

I had stopped looking for quite a while, and had a couple of year old profiles bouncing around cyber.

She looked me up and took me to a Yo-Yo Ma concert. KISMET.

[MissMillie]

35. None

and I tried both match.com and eharmony.com

[Lydia Leftcoast]

36. The problems included:

1) Men who obviously don't read my profile before responding. It clearly stated that I am politically left and like cultural activities. So what were most of my responses? Rural and exurban Republicans who were barely literate. :wtf: I guess they're the ones who have the most trouble finding mates, and not surprisingly, given some of their personalities.

2) Men who are just plain weird, and not in a good way.

3) Getting responses from men looking for a little action on the side, despite the fact that my ads always specified "legally and emotionally available."

Some people get lucky online, just as some people get lucky in the oddest circumstances. I once knew a couple who met when he helped her drag her heavy suitcase off the carousel at the airport. I knew another who met when he showed up as a prospective buyer of the store that she was closing down and selling. One of my brothers met his wife in a bar after he overheard her complaining about all the creeps.

Ya never know.

[Deja Q]

38. All the time and many services. Do not spend a dime on them.

I get no responses.

I've heard my case, surprisingly, is not unique.

[Brewman_Jax]

39. I have tried

and I've had no success. The last date from there took 5 months to meet up, weeks between phone messages, and first date was a movie (IMO not a good idea). No 2nd date.

My friend tried e-Harmony, it couldn't match him with anyone he wanted to meet.

I do know a friend who met his wife on line, so it's not impossible.

[bikebloke]

41. Been there; done that.

Match and Yahoo have been sued for fraud. Posting bogus profiles or keeping abandoned ones alive. And even shifting the same profile from city to city. And since you have to pay to respond to someone's initial message, Match sends out messages from bogus profiles hoping the lure in the naifs.

The few women I've met never clicked or they weren't anything like they said they were in their profile.

I experimented with many of online dating sites and have since deleted myself from all but OK Cupid and Nerve. Actually, I've grown quite content as a solitaire. I won't be contecting with someone just because they're available.

[HEyHEY]

44. Canuckamok meets tons of chicks that way

[GaYellowDawg]

47. I got one date out of it.

It was an interesting experience. First, she didn't look like her picture - she looked older and heavier - but what the hell, I'm not a male model, so no big deal. Then she started talking and I thought that it was great - we had a rapport! Then she kept talking. And talking. And talking. She just yakked up a storm.

She would tell me these stories about a friend, and stop halfway through the story to give me background on another friend, and stop halfway through that story to give me background on another friend, and by the time she finished I would just about have lost track (although she never did!). But better that than a silent type, right? We went to a baseball game. She talked through all nine innings. We went to dinner. I'm surprised she finished. Then we went for a walk. She kept talking. It was exhausting. After I got her to her car, I drove off feeling like I'd been hit over the head with a pillow one too many times. Kind of a fuzzy, disoriented feeling.

That's about it. I also got cancelled on. The prospective date said that she was sick and said she'd call me when she got well. It's been two months and I'm beginning to think she gave me the brushoff. :sarcasm:

[Divameow77]

49. I met my current boyfriend on match.com

and things are going great. I am just recently divorced and was a little nervous to start dating againg so a friend suggested match. I went out on some first dates that were okay, two that were really weird then I started talking to my current guy. We e-mailed and talked on the phone for awhile and neither of us had a doubt that we would have chemistry and we were right. I would do it again in the future if I find myself single.
I cancelled my subscription over 2 months ago and I still get constant e-mails that some winked at me, or e-mailed me and that's annoying.