I'm just sad.

[LaraMN]

Last night I got one of those dreaded why-is-someone-calling-me-this-late? phone calls. My little sister's boyfriend of four years (she broke up with him last summer) committed suicide. He was diagnosed as bipolar shortly after she ended their relationship, and his family has blamed his illness on her ending the relationship. It's just so fucking depressing. He was a wonderful kid, a little blond guy who was quiet and kind, and practically lived at my parents house for all the years they were together. I am horrified for what his family must be going through right now. Yesterday afternoon, I went over and sat with my best friend's Mom, so my friend and her Dad and sister could go the funeral home to make arrangements for her. She's dying and she's suffering alot; it wasn't fun to see. The world just seems so fucking ugly and wrong right now, I can't stand it.

[miss_american_pie]

1. Oh Lara, I'm so sorry

Sometimes life just sucks all around. :hug:

[MissHoneychurch]

2. Oh no!!

:hug:

That is just horrible. I wish everybody involved in that the strength to get through this hard time.

I am lost of words about their and your sorrow :hug:

[livetohike]

3. I'm sorry LaraMN

:hug: for you and your sister. I hope she doesn't believe her break up is the cause of this suicide. It's unfair for the parents to blame his illness on her.

Also, a hug for your friend and her family.

[Misunderestimator]

4. Wow, that's horrible that anyone is blaming your sister.

Mental illness is not caused by someone breaking off a bad relationship. That's just awful. I hope that she is not blaming herself at all.

[GirlinContempt]

5. I'm so sorry, honey

:hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

6. How horrible, my dear Lara..........

What an awful mess..........

My heart goes out to all of them, and to you, sweetie........

Nothing else I can do, except.... :hug:

[Midlodemocrat]

7. You really are under a lot of strain right now.

I hope you are taking some time for Lara. :hug:

[RevCheesehead]

8. Lara,

First of all, (((((:hug:)))))

The loss of someone so young is devastating enough, but a suicide leaves so many unanswered questions. Many times, the family lashes out at others, to try to keep the pain as far from them as they (wrongly) think they can.

You know that nobody suddenly becomes bipolar... and in time, so will his family. In the meanwhile, just keep offering your love and support like you already have. I'm so sorry that your sister is having to go through all of this. But I also know that she is fortunate to have you as her sister. And you know (I hope) that we're all standing behind you. Please feel free to PM me if you need to talk.

and have another :hug:

[swimboy]

9. I'm sad and sorry with you.

:hug:

I'm thinking of you.

[progmom]

10. damn , Lara

I'm sorry you're going through this. I had a time two years ago when the stars were aligned and many of my friends were going through horrible things - breast cancer, the sudden death of a parent, deep depression... It can tear you apart, especially if you're already going through difficulties in your own life.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

I hope things look up soon. They did eventually for me.

[NewWaveChick1981]

11. Oh, Lara...I'm so sorry for you and your sister...

:hug: :hug: For the family to blame that on your sister is just plain awful and wrong. :( I know they are grieving, as are you and your family. I hope all of you get through this the best you can. :hug:

[Lydia Leftcoast]

12. I'm so sorry

Please give your sister some extra TLC and try to make her understand that her ex-boyfriend's suicide is NOT her fault.

:hug:

[RFKHumphreyObama]

13. I'm so sorry LaraMN

You seem to be going through such a tough time at the moment:hug: My thoughts, prayers, deepest sympathies and condolences to you, your sister and all those affected by the loss of your sister's ex-boyfriend.

Once again I'm so sorry -my thoughts, prayers, deepest sympathies and condolences to all of you
:hug: :hug:

[jobycom]

14. Damn, Lara, you're having it rough lately. Sympathies.

Suicides are the hardest losses to handle, I guess because they are so needless, and you realize how much the person suffered to do that. Hug your wonderful child and remember what you are living for, and remember how much he needs to see a happy, wonderful mother. And your sister needs strength, too. Not false cheeriness, of course. You have to deal with the pain and confusion you are feeling, too, but just keep perspective of what all you have, and who all needs you.

Genuine, heartfelt sympathies, Lara. With as much pain as is going around the Lounge these days, I figure something great has to be in store for us all, just to balance the Karma.

[Whoa_Nelly]

15. So sorry for all you're going through

:hug: We're here for you :hug:

[jus_the_facts]

16. My sympathies to you and yours.....

....my heart is wrenched for all involved. cry: :hug:

[cleofus1]

17. there is nothing to say...

i hope things get better...

many years ago a friend of mine killed herself...for a long time i never accepted that it was suicide...i preferred to think that it was some freak accident...a couple of days earlier she had left a cassette for me...on my doorstep...a mix tape that led with "baby the rain must fall"...someone close to me attempted suicide recently...shot themselves in the mouth with a 22 pistol...there are no words to describe my feelings...but in the back of my head i kept hearing that song...i guess sometimes people feel the only way they can take control over their own lives is to end it...so senseless...

"Baby, The Rain Must Fall"
(Elmer Bernstein - Ernie Sheldon)

E A E
Some men climb a mountain
E A B
Some men swim the sea
E E7 A
Some men fly above the sky
E D B
They are what they must be
E D E
Baby, the rain must fall
A G A
Baby, the wind must blow
E F#m G#m C#m
Wherever my heart leads me
F#m B E C#m
Baby, I must go
F#m B <1: E 2: C7>
Baby, I must go

I do not love for silver
I do not love for gold
My heart is mine to give away
It never will be sold

F Bb F
I am not rich or famous
F Bb C
But who can ever tell
F F7 Bb
I don't know now what waits for me
F Eb C
May be heaven or may be hell

F Eb F
Baby, the rain must fall
Bb Ab Bb
Baby, the wind must blow
F Gm Am Dm
Wherever my heart leads me
Gm C F Dm
Baby, I must go
Gm C F
Baby, I must go

[anarch]

18. me too

[Beware the Beast Man]

19. I am so sorry, Lara.

:hug:

[auntAgonist]

20. Lara, I'm so sorry ...

I have no words of wisdom, only a comforting :hug:

please take care of you.


aA
kesha

[Dangerously Amused]

21. Oh Lara, that really sucks.

I am especially upset that the ex-bf's parents are blaming his suicide on your sister. That is so wrong. Suicide isn't ever the result of one negative event, but of negative events that build up over the years and bring one to the breaking point. In blaming your sister, his parents are desperately trying to cast guilt over their own contributions to his suicide away from them. It's a terrible thing to do to someone.

I'm so sorry about your best friend's mom suffering, too. You are truly a great friend to help out as you are in what is surely one of the most difficult times of her life. Bless your heart.


Big hugs for you:

[jpgray]

22. My best thoughts are with you and your sister

[Taverner]

23. I'm sorry Lara

:hug:

[flamingyouth]

24. I'm so sorry, Lara

That's just horrible. My heart goes out to your sister. I'm glad that she has you for support, and I hope that maybe she can talk to a grief counselor when she's ready because there are so many emotions that go along with suicide (I've been in her shoes). I'm also sorry about your best friend's mom. Take care. :hug:

[taterguy]

25. Here, have a big sloppy kiss

[Katina]

26. I'm so sorry

unfortunately, bipolar disorder usually doesn't get diagnosed until after a serious incident. My son has been diagnosed with a "mild" case....after I found a suicide note, but before he followed through with it. I'm so sorry your sister has had this unjust guilt thrown on her head. It's not her fault, it's no one's fault really....and that's what makes it even more sad.

[RetroLounge]

27. Damn, I am sorry...

:hug:

RL

[skygazer]

28. I'm so sorry, Lara

That's awful. I hope they're just lashing out in their grief and that they come to realize that a breakup doesn't cause mental illness. That's an unfair burden to lay on your sister who must feel guilt of her own already.

It does seem that a lot of bad shit is going down right now. :hug:

[SeattleGirl]

29. Lara, I am so sorry to hear this.

It is so incredibly sad. I'm sorry the parents are blaming your sister, though I understand why they would do so in the first days of this horrible tragedy. Sending good thoughts and prayers to you, your sister, the parents, and everyone affected by this.

:hug:

[Deja Q]

30. .

:hug:

May things get better for you. :hug:

[billyskank]

31. ...

:( :hug:

[dpbrown]

32. Keep keepin' on, sister

We're all pulling for you.


:grouphug: