I have decided to hate watermelon

[jmowreader]

...at least for now. Or maybe just hate people who sell it.

Check this shit out: I was at lunch today in the Home Depot parking lot fiddling with my engine, and two guys drove up in this pickup towing a big trailer full of watermelons. They got out, cut one in half so you could see what it looked like inside (they weren't quality melons, folks; watermelon is not supposed to be pink), put one half on each of the trailer's fenders, put up a sign and put their cash box on the tailgate, ready to do business.

The only people who are allowed to do business on Home Depot property is Home Depot.

I closed the hood on my car and politely informed them that I was a Home Depot associate, that our policy doesn't allow people to conduct business in our parking lot, and that they had to leave. They started demanding to see Home Depot identification (we don't carry Home Depot ID cards or anything like that) and started going on and on about how there was no way I could be a Home Depot associate because of my pants and shoes. (I was wearing blue jeans and running shoes, like every other hourly associate in the building.)

I excused myself and went to my store manager to explain the situation. We went out there to try to run these guys off. At this point, if they would have at least tried to be nice I would have told them about this little open field right across the service road from our store. People go over there, set up roadside stands in clear view of the store, and just make money hand over fist.

We got ten feet from the watermelon guys and one of them yelled "stop right there. If you come any closer or say anything, we'll kick your ass." This is not what you want to say.

I'm dialin' up 9-1-1...the manager's callin' loss prevention...three minutes later we've got six cops, a tow truck, all sorts of wild shit. And now our county's overcrowded jail is even more crowded because the cops found these guy's bags of weed and crack in the glovebox, along with rolling papers, a crack pipe, a knife, no insurance on the truck, a suspended driver's license in one guy's wallet and no ID in the other guy's, wants and warrants from NC, SC, VA and GA...

So I think I'll hate watermelon for a few days.

[TK421]

1. I'm not craving that shit at the moment...for what it's worth...

I don't even like watermelon, but what they tried to pull off? :shrug:

[wildhorses]

2. dumb fuckers, cracks me up....go ahead and laugh

that's what they get for being RUDE

[Radio_Lady]

3. You're right! Watermelon is the PITS! What a story!

Thanks for posting.

PS. I don't understand. Watermelon is always pink, isn't it?

[wildhorses]

5. certain hybrids, maybe. but, true old fashioned

real watermelon should be deep red...
:hi:

[Radio_Lady]

10. Oh, I see what you mean. Deep red, not pink.

[radwriter0555]

4. What do you want to bet they stole the watermelons too?

Ya gotta love em.

[Fleshdancer]

6. everyone knows watermelon is the gateway fruit

:crazy:

[Rowdyboy]

11. Perhaps the most cogent comment I've read all night......

And cantaloupe isn't much better!

[Catshrink]

7. My dog loves watermelon

for what it's worth....

Those guys were idyuts to act that way when they had suspended licenses and warrants on them. Morans.

[Odin2005]

8. How much you want to bet they're Pukes?

[jmowreader]

9. More than likely, but I didn't see any W stickers

I wasn't really looking for W stickers, though, but my guess is that they're good churchgoing boys who just made a little mistake.

The "little mistake" we're referring to here is in not committing Seppuku fifteen or twenty years ago.

[Indy_Dem_Defender]

12. So I see

My sister's ex-husband has moved to North Carolina and still won't work for a honest days pay!

[RevCheesehead]

13. Please don't blame the poor innocent watermelon.

Wow. Just.... wow.

I'm glad you're OK. :scared:

[Sugar Smack]

14. And the winner of today's Darwin Award goes to:

Two guys illegally parking & soliciting, threatening, and...

"bags of weed and crack in the glovebox, along with rolling papers, a crack pipe, a knife, no insurance on the truck, a suspended driver's license in one guy's wallet and no ID in the other guy's, wants and warrants from NC, SC, VA and GA...

Holy shit.
:crazy:

[otherlander]

15. Fruit preference is not a choice, you intolerant biggot!

What are you implying about those differently-oriented than yourself?

:evilgrin: :hi:

[UTUSN]

16. Thank ZEUS this didn't turn into an anti-immigrant thread!!11 n/t

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

17. Oh, the melonity! The melonity!