Are women where you work downright vicious to other women?

[Herman Munster]

I work for a female boss with 30+ years of experience and I am just a young guy starting my career a few years out of college. It's a very big corporate environment with huge bureaucracy. But what I have noticed is my boss has consistently trashed the other 3 female employees in our little section to me in our private conversations. Sometimes it's little things snide comments. Sometimes she talks to me about their lousy attitudes, their personal behavior outside of work and relationships (she told me one of the co-workers was a real slut for instance that goes through men like a pack of gum), any kind of little gossip she knows about them, she shares. Very unprofessional. But what am I going to say about it? She's my boss so I basically never agree or disagree with her statements. I respond with probing questions like a journalist, trying to find out why she believes what she does. But never agree or disagree.

The other female employees she trashes basically constantly trash my boss to me when my boss is away from the office. One of my female co-workers who hasn't been promoted in years tells me that when a woman reaches the top she refuses to let any other women share a piece of the pie and told me that she will continue to promote me over her and the other women simply because I have a penis and she yearns for approval from men. I've been promoted two times since I was hired, but I've also produced results and directly asked and substantiated my reasons for promotion to my boss and the other opportunities I have within the organization for advancement. I basically nicely told her, other people want me and are willing to pay me more money so pay up or I'm gone.

The other women I work with tell me it's only because I have a penis that I can do this and if any of the women did what I did to a female boss, they would be on their shit list forever.

All this office politics is so annoying.

[rurallib]

1. Yep!

[Olney Blue]

2. Are you sure you and your penis are on the right blog?

[Herman Munster]

5. umm

what blog should my penis be on?

[cigsandcoffee]

3. Women can be very hard on other women.

My girlfriend works as a nurse with mostly other women, and her stories about workplace entanglements are incredible.

[azurnoir]

21. Yesiree!!!!!

I work as a CMA and am truly considering leaving the profession altogether because of that, CMA's work in clinics and I've seen things you would not believe including actual interference with patient care

[blonndee]

4. No. I work as as a GTA at a university

and there's really not much infighting at all, among men or women. I'm lucky, I guess. I have worked office jobs with other women, though. I'd rather not dredge up the horror, though, because I love women and am one myself. I don't blame THEM. It's much more complicated than that.

[Donnachaidh]

6. if it's annoying then put in for a transfer

from your post it just seems to me that you see an opportunity to use (promoted 2 times, etc) and are using it to your advantage. You seem to gossip just as much as the women do.

[blonndee]

9. LOL

at the gossip comment. True that!

[Donnachaidh]

16. well you know this guy isn't going to have any

office romance soon, eh? Sure do hope he and his penis have a long and happy life together ;-P

[beam me up scottie]

7. Are black people where you work downright vicious to other black people?

Can you speak up?

I can't hear you over your penis.

[Ian David]

13. I'm so glad my penis isn't the only one in the world that talks

Amazingly, it never bothers to tell me when I've forgotten to zip my fly.

Didn't Dennis Miller do a movie where his penis talked to him?

[beam me up scottie]

14. I hope yours advises you to not suck up and spread gossip at work.

Cuz the op's did him wrong.

[Ian David]

19. Mine just advised me when it had to go pee.

99.9999% of the time, it gave me adequate warning, too.

But there was that ONE time with the Boss's coffee cup. (Sorry, Sharon!)







I'm kidding.





Or AM I?

[beam me up scottie]

27. You must treat it well.

I think malfunctioning penises like the op's are the result of a lack of regular stimulation and recreation.

Penises don't kill people...

[Herman Munster]

29. my penis is fully functional

[beam me up scottie]

30. That's what they all say.

:rofl:

[Solly Mack]

37. and we needed to know this why?

Don't get me wrong. I'm happy for you. YAY! for the fully functional penis and all that - but why did you feel the need to express this?

[Herman Munster]

38. beam me up scottie said my penis was malfunctioning

That is incorrect. I was simply correcting the public record. Herman Munster has a fully-functioning penis.

[Solly Mack]

41. I see. So that's the comment that bothered you most?

lmao

[Herman Munster]

43. what bothered me was it was untrue

I believe in truth, justice, and formely (before bush fucked us up) the american way.

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

45. Trust Me, You'd Be Best Served To Just Ignore Childish Taunts Like That.

Some here will intentionally try to ruffle your feathers by means of a constant barrage of insults and attack. If you come across people who respond to you in such ways, the easiest way is just to ignore them completely. Lord knows I should follow that advice more myself. I invest far too much time sometimes responding to the immature stupidity. But regardless, it is best to simply ignore it.

Can't say there was any reason whatsoever for anyone on DU to call out your functionality. That's just purely childish.

[beam me up scottie]

47. Oh look, another member of the support group, here to commiserate.

Awwwww.

How sweet.

Let me get my camera.

Smile! I mean, oink!

[Name removed]

50. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Ian David]

35. Uncle Bansai fan? n/t

[beam me up scottie]

46. SNORT!

I forgot about that song!

If I had a penis
I'd wear it outside
In cafes and car lots
With pomp and with pride
If I had a penis
I'd pamper it proper
I'd stay in the tub
And use me as a stopper

:spray:

[Ian David]

49. I just bought ten lof their albums for $100

The TRULY Complete Uncle Bonsai collection includes everything the group has ever recorded! This is the ultimate collection (or gift) for the true fan! Individually, these recordings would cost $115; buy them all together and they're only $100...including shipping!
http://www.yellowtailrecords.com/ub/ub.htm

The only thing missing is their 30-second speed-version of Boogy Woogie Bugle Boy.

[salvorhardin]

22. Your penis talks?

Dude, you should definitely take it on tour. And I hear Ted Nugent's looking for a new backup singer. Your talking penis would be perfect!

[Ian David]

24. Yeah, but then it would want its own trailer and personal assistant. n/t

[Ian David]

8. Well, you know what you need to buy your co-workers for Christmas...

either a penis, or one of those tiny little spycams to put in the boss's office.

[babylonsister]

10. You're a suck-up and obviously a fellow gossip!

Everybody loves you so keep your mouth zipped and carry on!

And BTW, save this for a future resume':

"I've been promoted two times since I was hired, but I've also produced results and directly asked and substantiated my reasons for promotion to my boss and the other opportunities I have within the organization for advancement."

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

11. No, They're Like Anybody Else.

And if you pulled that 'pay up or I'm gone' shit at my work they'd say "ok, see ya". Those years of bargaining via threat are gone from my company, and many other companies are following suit as well: Penis or not.

[napi21]

12. There's always some office politics, no matter where you work.

I've worked for some good and some bad both women & men. Believe me, men can be just as catty and underhanded, sometimes even more so! My advice to you is to just listen to them all, and dont carry stories between them. It will only bite you in the ass in the future.

You said you were just beginning your career, so you won't be in that section for a long time. When you gt the opportunity, take it and move on, but don't burn any bridges. Long time b's like your boss can play very dirty if they see the need to.

[Herman Munster]

18. that's what I do

I listen to everyone. But I never repeat anything they tell me to anyone else.

[napi21]

28. Good. Stick with that tactic and you'll be fine! It sounds like there's

jealousy, or some bad blood going on between the females in your section. Make SSURE you don't get caught in the middle!!!!

[Ian David]

32. I've worked with bad bosses, good bosses, male and female

Some of the best have been women, some of the worst have been women. Some of the best have been men, some of the worst have been men.

One key difference though is that women remember things.

Women are more adept at keeping track of complex social interactions within our little human primate groups-- articles in Discover and Scientific American will back me up on that.

It's not that one is better or worse than the other.

But a male boss-- or any male-- is more likely to get pissed-off at you about something, go apeshit, and then a week later forget about it.

Many women will get quietly angry and then keep bringing the same thing up over and over again for years.

I know my mother did this. My grandmothers did this. My wife does this. My daughter-- who is only four-- does this.

Women will remember every little thing you ever did wrong for the rest of your life.

Men need to write this shit down. And many of them will.

The head counselor at my summercamp used to keep a little black book listing all the mistakes the counselors and CITs made during the summer.

Mark-- Came back from day-off drunk. Parked his car on baseball field. Made kid cry by giving him a wedgie.
Ian- Can't draw a straight line across middle of the field for Capture-the-flag. Thought I was kidding when I complained.
Collin-- Caught him and Mark doing obscene impersonations of my parents having oral sex.

Yes, we found the book.

[The Backlash Cometh]

15. Women will take each other out with vile gossip.

Men do it more discreetly, through alliances.

[beam me up scottie]

17. If I thought you were serious and not misogynistic,

I would point out the fact that males make up 97% of my workplace and gossip and backstabbing are just as prolific as where you work.

But since you are, I won't.

[alittlelark]

20. WOW ... you have a sick work environment.

Our work world is soooo completely the opposite.

You are living in opposite/ messed-up/ freeper/ WTF world.

[riderinthestorm]

33. Yup. The OP is in a sick work environment

This kind of situation isn't necessarily just a "female thing". I've seen it just as crazy with a male boss.

FYI, I am the female boss. Respect for others is drilled into my employees, male or female. They know that malicious gossip will earn them a one-way ticket outta there. I need everyone working together and if someone has a gripe big enough that it needs some serious venting, they know they better bring me into it to negotiate everyone's differences before things blow up into your situation. (I'm not talking about minor stuff like grumbling over who brought the tuna sandwich that is smelling up the communal refrigerator!)

Bummer.

Learn from this so when you are the boss, you know and understand how destructive this kind of office gossip can become. Your boss doesn't understand how to create an efficient team since she's one of the gossiping instigators. You have an unbelievable learning opportunity here if you want to observe closely.

Be careful. This kind of situation is very toxic and you should be working towards finding the next step on your corporate ladder as soon as you, preferably something that takes you out from under this current boss' control.

[alittlelark]

42. The OP is channeling some F'ed up sh*t

If that is He/She/Its' world....DANM.

Microcosms kinda suck.

[Herman Munster]

44. this was my first real corporate job

so I don't really know what a "good" working environment is. I've asked a number of people in the office how this office compares to previous offices they wokred for, and they always told me it's pretty much the same. Everyone usually is resentful about the organization they work for and their boss and other co-workers.

[Marie26]

23. You realize you are also spreading vicious gossip, no? nt

[beam me up scottie]

25. Oh puh-leeze.

Men don't do that.

[Herman Munster]

26. How am I spreading vicious gossip?

[Name removed]

34. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Herman Munster]

39. How can you spread vicious gossip about anonymous figurative people?

And beam me up scottie thinks I'm a bigot? Well, I guess my fragile psyche is irrevocably broken. I need a hug. :(

[beam me up scottie]

40. And yet, somehow,you manage.

And you're not alone, BMUS thinks freepers are bigots too.

Maybe you can start a support group.

[Triana]

31. Hell yes...

...I've seen women treat each other as bad or worse than men treat them in the workplace. Not all of them, of course but a few places I've worked, they're naystay.

[Darth_Kitten]

36. I can't disagree........

but have to admit that if you are a male and you engage in this type of behaviour, the female bosses will do practically nothing about it. It works both ways. I've been on the receiving end of vicious, jealous behaviour from confused, vindictive slimy females and weasly dumb male jerks.

But I just hate people. :evilgrin:

[SmokingJacket]

48. No. Some people talk about others behind their backs, but

it's not really a gender-based thing. I hate it -- makes me very uncomfortable -- I only snipe and gossip like that with my husband. It makes for a terrible work atmosphere, IMHO, though I guess it spices up the day for some people. Fortunately it's relatively rare at my job.

Aggressive/assertive people get the goodies, penis or not, though it's true that some women feel less comfortable being pushy and confident than men do.

[Ian David]

51. I think men are more likely to get caught when they gossip

We're not big on sublety.

[McCamy Taylor]

52. There is one problem in your office. The manager. Her gender is irrelevant

She is letting her personal problems interfere with her personel management decisions. If you do not mind having her promote you as a way to cultivate you as a office husband, then go right ahead and continue with the company, however, she will expect something in return---namely that you not stand up for any of the coworkers whom she is trashing. This will mean that you never have a productive, solid working relationship with any of your peers.

If I was you, I would get the hell out of dodge.

The same thing happens to women all the time, though usually the male boss will come right out and demand sex. Not always though. Sometimes the male boss just wants a "wife" type at the job to really support and back him up. She doesnt even have to be attractive, just have a personality he is comfortable with and which makes him feel good about himself.

Women are no different from men in this respect.

[Herman Munster]

55. office husband? LOL

That's not a fun picture.

I was aggressive in getting my promotions because it's what I was raised to do and it's what every career book I've read said to do. Document your performance results and show your boss what you've done to deserve a promotion. And I told my boss that another division head liked my work and told me to apply for a job with them to get her thinking that if she didn't give me money she would lose me. I was taught you either make your own place in the world or the world will stomp over you. With 2 promotions in two years, it has proven to be a good strategy.

I think the female co-workers don't like that I did that and for whatever reason, they didn't, or can't.

But I work in a huge corporate headquarters and lots of other managers have said I did good work when I worked on projects with them, so maybe it's time to put out some feelers and see if there are better opportunities away from this situation.

[ChoralScholar]

53. Yes, but not in the same way as you're describing....

There are women teachers in my school that are downright awful to the girls at school. Not the boys, just the girls. Observing it, it resembles an Alpha dog trying to establish dominance.

Usually it's hateful comments about dress code or whatever. I can't stand it.

[greguganus]

54. Yes they are. And all of us men like it that way. n/t

[VelmaD]

56. Gee...

can we pull up any more tired old cliches today? *sigh*

[NewWaveChick1981]

57. No....but I worked at a college for seven years that

was staffed primarily by women. I don't play petty, stupid games (or any other games at the workplace), but a lot of the women did. There was no outright hostility or viciousness, but there was way too much drama for my tastes. One tiny little issue that was of absolutely no consequence could be blown way out of proportion by one of three female higher-ups: the president, the business office manager, or the head of the graduate division. As a director, I had close contact with all those folks, and believe me, I steered clear of them as much as humanly possible. The president was notorious for micromanagement and knowing just enough to be dangerous. Sheesh....

I don't believe in being hostile or vicious to anyone, let alone people I work with. :(

[wildhorses]

58. apparently estrogen is the essence of viciousness...

the only difference between bull dogs and the bitches (most, not all) at work...the bitches wear lipstick:P

[Call Me Wesley]

59. Locking.

Inflammatory topic, and lots of bad words. Sorry.

Call Me Wesley
DU Moderator