Simon Cowell, Super Nanny, Gordon Ramsay, Weakest Link

[KurtNYC]

If you're going to do a TV show where people yell at, teach or belittle Americans, you have to use a Brit. Somebody who makes infomercials said 'Americans will listen to anything and believe it as long as the speaker has a british accent.' To which I would add: an Australian accent (or New Zealand) works too because us Yanks can't tell the difference.

There is some cultural thing at play here. Americans practically demand that our hosts be nice to everyone all the time. Our cashiers tell us to "Have a nice day" while packing our stuff into plastic bags with big smilies faces on the side. The archway into Disneyland declares that you are entering "the Happiest place on Earth." "Happy" is to America what "cute" is to Japan. So maybe, by implication, "serious" has to come from someplace else.

The British are perhaps synonymous with the proverbial "stiff upper lip." While Yanks are obliviously happy, the British are aware of reality and enduring it. Churchill didn't say anything about being happy -- he said "we will defend our island until the curse of Hitler is lifted." So perhaps a British accent is what we associate with facing reality and putting happiness aside for a moment.

1776 was quite a while back but I don't think we have lost sight of the fact that Britain is the USA's mother. The British speak the mother tongue correctly, or should I as an American say, 'they speak right." The British know the difference between an adverb and an adjective and they don't use adjectives in place of adverbs. We, on the other hand, are like those kids in Lord of the Flies. We have forgotten the difference and mostly we don't care as long as we are happy.

So in a way in makes sense that the person who pushes a plate full of risotto into our chest while spewing a string of profanity (albeit with correct usage of adverbs) is British. The woman who bannishes us while declaring us the "weakest link" and the guy who rains on the Paula's happy American Idol parade are the voices of Britain. Emeril would just pour more booze into that risotto, David Letterman would send us off with dinner for 2 and Paula would let them all think they can sing just fine.