Why was I born so damn sexy?

[ForrestGump]

Such a burden. My personal hell...

[KamaAina]

1. Actually the question is, "What happened later that made it go away?"

:evilgrin:

[ForrestGump]

2. I'm too sexy for this

scorn... :P

:hi:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. My dear ForrestGump.........

[ForrestGump]

13. Just for you...

:D

[SOteric]

4. 'Cuz yer tew tall

to have been frickin' hatched, GumpHead.

[havocmom]

6. But it would explain that egg tooth on the top of 'is head

:D

[ForrestGump]

15. It comes in handy

in fights and when pitching tents... :P

[ForrestGump]

14. Well, duhhhhh...OUUUCHHH!

:-(


At least you didn't dispute the 'sexy' bit.

Yet.

:P

[judaspriestess]

5. i feel your pain

I have the same problem :)

[ForrestGump]

16. We're too sexy for our

angst.

:hi:

We should start a club!

[Ptah]

7. There is no explanation.

That just the way it is.

:hi:

[ForrestGump]

18. That's explanation enough for me

It's the universal bottom line! :hi:

[Broken_Hero]

8. I don't know...but

run with it, and see how it works out for you...:)

[ForrestGump]

19. So far, it's mostly been working out

pretty suboptimally, actually. :D

I get the girl, but then I don't do anything and she goes away. Curse this preternatural beauty and my consequently being seen as a mere sex object intended for the prurient enjoyment of predatory women!! :-(

[xchrom]

9. is this a trick question?

[ForrestGump]

20. I don't know

Most of my tricks never ask it. :o

:P

[In_The_Wind]

10. So we could have something to fantasize about.

[ForrestGump]

21. Oh!

Well, you are my new bestest of best friends, that's for sure.... :D

:hug:

[Nikia]

11. Evidently, I have this problem too

In my case, I think it has to do with being a thin girl with relatively big breasts.
Guys (and some girls) stare at my chest.

[ForrestGump]

26. I have THAT problem, too

I mean, I try to stare higher, but sometimes I'll slip and those darned hormones will force my eyes to drop, even if for just a moment. :-(

I think I have some inkling of how you feel...more now, for sure, in terms of my work in that women pull stuff that (I'd like to think) they'd never do if I was just regular me walking down the street...pulling sideburns, tearing off chest hair (I've never been especially hairy there, but I'm less so now, after their combined onslaught), crtch fondles,a nd don't even get me started on the attention that my poor, abused bottom gets (not that I really mind it sometimes, but hit-and-run pinches are not only a little below the belt, so to speak, but are fundamentally unfair in that if I tried it, unsolicited, on any of the women who pinch me I'd rightfully be either slapped or arrested).

It's tough being a sex object. :hug:

On the bright side, 'Elvis' can get away with waaaaayyyy more than I could, and I don't just mean the flirty stuff. I finally got a modicum of revenge on grabby women when one young lady gave my sideburns a good tug and asked "are they real?" (well, if they weren't, you would have just pulled the f***ers off, you presumptious b-word)...I looked at her chest, held my hands out at her chest level with palms cupped and asked 'are those real?" She laughed -- which is where the Elvis thing comes in handy, 'cos otherwise who knows how she would have reacted, but I was just happy to see her go (with some of my hair undoubtedly in her hand). All part of the job, sure, and many people'd tell me that I've got no right to complain about it, but those who hassle me or come on way too strong and physically have still got no excuse for some of their behavior. The whole "go wild in Vegas" does not qualify as an excuse, not least because it's all illusion and Vegas is one of the most uptight (and probably the most overly controlled) cities in this country.

[hfojvt]

12. too sexy?

Is there such a thing?

I think I was born that way too. For the first six months or so of my life really beautiful women went gaga over me. It has been downhill and a long dry spell ever since.

Plus I never get to sit on the hood of NSMA's car. :cry:

[ForrestGump]

27. You can be my hoodmate any time, Maverick

I mean, if it's okay with NSMA...the trunk's pretty good, too. :D

I feel your pain...yes, women just go nuts about you at first but, oh, how soon you get relegated to the sidelines as some newer, younger kid comes along and steals the limelight...same old story, mi amigo... :-(

[Dont_Bogart_the_Pretzel]

17. Sing along

"I'm too sexy for my shirt"
then
"I'm too sexy for D.U."
B-)

[ForrestGump]

28. We're ALL too sexy for DU

Just look at all the locked threads.... :D

:hi:

[ScreamingMeemie]

22. It's the jumpsuit...and the zipper...

and stuff. :hug:

[ForrestGump]

29. My zipper almost revealed my 'stuff' a week or so ago

:D

Sometimes women stick money inside my jumpsuit or in my belt -- makes me feel like some kind of sixpack-challenged Chippendales dude, which is a tad disturbing -- but this one girl grabbed my zipper thingy and whipped it as far down as she could (thank goodness for my belt!) before I could stop her, then shoved money right into my tummybutton. :o

I found the money, but it took a little longer before I found my dignity.

The same night, another frisky young lady shoved money inside my jumpsuit but slid her hand all the way across to my vestigial-mammalian-feeding-apparatus area and I fished the bills out from somewhere in the vicinity of my armpit. As Elvis himselves said, "never ceases to amaze me, baby." :-)

Can't complain too much...I love it when women give me money just because. :D

[Zomby Woof]

23. It's the butt imprint you leave...

On the hood of my car! :D

[ScreamingMeemie]

24. nsma's gonna be pissed when she gets home from work tonight

and finds him on your car instead of hers...although it's been a might more comfortable since you took him. ;)

[Zomby Woof]

25. I lured him...

I smeared peanut butter and bacon on the hood, which attracts Elvis, from what I'm told! :hi:

[ForrestGump]

32. Actually, I went to see what kind of person smears condiments on their car

and I got stuck in the peanut butter. :-(

It wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't alone.

[Zomby Woof]

33. You thought I was smearing condoms on my car

It isn't the first time you mixed those two up. x(

[ForrestGump]

34. Well. Okay. You're right.

There was that unfortunate night when I accidentally tried to use the crunchy kind of peanut butter.

But I wouldn't trade anything for my three children: Jif, Skippy, and Peter Pan.

[ForrestGump]

31. Oh, sure...all the more room for you to spread out on the hood of NSMA's

car.

Oops. Now I did it -- naughty images coming to me..begone, impure thoughts! :o

[ForrestGump]

30. Shhhhhhh...

We don't want nin i to find out about all of that... :o

[Hand]

35. Insh'Allah... nt