One day, George W. Bush was putting together a puzzle.

[Jamastiene]

He got really stumped and became very frustrated, so he decided to ask Laura for help.

"It's supposed to be a tiger," George whined.

"Honey," said Laura, "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!"

[ZombieNixon]

1. Haha...awesome!

:rofl:

[Jamastiene]

2. I've been reading these all night.

I'm still up from the other day. Which day I can't remember now? Friday? Anyhow, every once in a while one of them is pretty good.

Here is another one:

"A British doctor says 'Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take
a kidney out of one man put it in another and have him looking for work in six
weeks.'

A German doctor says, 'That's nothing, we can take a lung out of one person
put it in another and have him looking for work in four weeks.'

A Russian doctor says, 'In my country medicine is so advanced we can take half
a heart out of one person put it in another and have them both looking for work
in two weeks.'

An American doctor, not to be outdone, says, 'You guys are way behind, we just
took a man with no brain out of Texas, put him in the White House now half the
country is looking for work, and the other half is preparing for war."

[Jamastiene]

3. And another one:

When George W. Bush's twin daughters were born, George held Laura's hand
throughout the labor and delivery, but as soon as both girls were safely
delivered, he turned angrily to Laura and demanded to know: "All right, who's
the other father!?!"

[Jamastiene]

4. George W. Bush ordered pizza delivery for the White House.

The Pizza guy, wanting to do an especially good job with the president's pizza, asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. George responded, "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

[Sugar Smack]

10. *BWAAAHAHA!!*

Cute!!!:rofl:

[Haole Girl]

5. I thought the joke might end with...

...finding a brazillion pieces, or something...I was all prepared!

[Jamastiene]

7. Nope, I'm not ready to

:hide: just yet.

Here is another good one:
Laura Bush went to the doctor for a check up and got a clean bill of health.
When she got home George asked her, "So how did the appointment go?"
Laura bragged, "the Doctor said I have the heart and lungs of a
twenty-year-old."
George smirked, "Oh yeah? And what did he have to say about
your fifty year old ass?"
Laura replied: "Your name didn't come up."

[grannylib]

6. ROTFLMAO hee hee hee! Good one! eom

[Jamastiene]

8. Here is another good one:

Last winter, George W. Bush wanted to go ice fishing, so after gathering up
all of the equipment, he headed toward the nearest frozen lake. After getting
comfy on his stool, he started to cut a circular hole in the ice.
Then from the heavens, a voice boomed, ''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.''
Startled, George moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of hot chocolate
and started to cut yet another hole in the ice.
The voice boomed, ''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.''
This time, he was quite scared, so George moved to the far end of the ice and
started another hole.
Once again the voice said, ''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.''
The very scared, very shook up, "leader of the free world" raised his head and
trembled, ''Is that you, Lord?''
The voice answered, ''NO. IT IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE RINK.''

[idgiehkt]

9. what is the really crude Bush/ Clinton joke?

It's my personal favorite...but it's really nasty, bodily functions are mentioned. At the end Bush blames Clinton for messing in his pants.

I love this joke, gross as it is, if anyone has it, please post.

[catmandu57]

11. A reworked blonde joke

One day gw, cheney, rummy, and kindasleazy strut into a bar and demand whiskey staright up.
When the bartender brings their drinks they gulp them down slam the glasses down on the table and yell FORTY FIVES DAYS.

They order another round, down the whiskey slam down the glasses and yell FORTY FIVE DAYS.

They repeat this three more times, when the bartender asks them what they are celebrating?

Beaming with pride and whiskey georgie looks up and sez we just put a puzzle together and it only took FORTY FIVE DAYS.

The bartender says what's so special about that?

Lil georgie still beaming says the box said it would take three to five years, bodda bing.

edit:fatfingers can't hit the right keys

[AirmensMom]

12. HAHAHAHA!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Good one!

[Guava Jelly]

13. are you implying our great leader is retarded

:rofl:

[catmandu57]

14. Profoundly so

and a mean tard at that.

[Jamastiene]

15. Forget implying it. I'm outright calling him an absolute dumbass.

Calling him retarded would be an upgrade from his current IQ point. I'm not sure sure he has 1 whole IQ at that. Really. :shrug: :evilgrin:

[NMMNG]

16. When did his IQ increase?

:P

[Jamastiene]

19. Oh, right. I made a type and didn't even realize it.

That's -.5 IQ points.

[Floogeldy]

17. Live From The Press Conference

Reporter: Mr. President, what is your favorite flavor?

GWB: Red.

Reporter: No, Mr. President, I asked "What is your favorite flavor?"

GWB: Could you repeat the question?

[ashling]

18. Must've been

a brazillion pieces!

:woohoo;

[Jamastiene]

20. George Bush was out jogging

George Bush was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped,
fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below.
Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, three kids, who were fishing,
pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever
they wanted.
The first kid said: "I sure would like to go to Disneyland." George said: "No
problem. I'll take you there on Air Force One."
The second kid said: "I really need a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's." George
said: "I'll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!"
The third kid said: "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built-in TV and
stereo headset!!" George Bush is a little perplexed by this and says: "But you
don't look like you are injured." The kid says: "But I will be after my dad
finds out I saved your ass from drowning!

[Jamastiene]

21. This one sounds about like him.

G.W.Bush was very depressed that people were saying he is stupid.
So he calls his good friend Queen Elizabeth, who says: "Now George, what you
need to do is to surround you with smart people. Let me show you." She calls
Tony Blair in and asks: "Tony, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and
it isn't your brother. Who is it?"
Tony Blair responds: "It's me, ma'am."
"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says:
"Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"
"Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"
So, upon returning to Washington, G.W. calls Dick Cheney and says: "Dick, your
parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?"

And Cheney says, "Wow, let me think about it and get back to you."
So Cheney calls Colin Powell and says: "Colin, your parents had a baby. It
isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?" And Colin Powell says,
"It's me, of course!"
So Cheney calls Bush and says: �I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's
Colin Powell."
And Bush says: "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

[Jamastiene]

22. An oldie but goodie.

Before the inauguration, George W. was invited to a 'get acquainted' tour of
the White House.
After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked President Clinton if he
could use his personal bathroom. He was astonished to see that the President had
a solid gold urinal!
That afternoon, George W. told his wife, Laura, about the urinal: "Just
think," he said, "When I am President, I'll have my own personal gold urinal!"
Later, when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White House, she
told Hillary how impressed George had been with his discovery of the fact that,
in the President's private bathroom, the President had a gold urinal.
That evening, Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed. Hillary turned to
Bill and said: "Well, I found out who peed in your saxophone."

[TroubleMan]

23. The clock in heaven one:

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."

"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where's President Bush's clock?" asked the man.

"Bush's clock is in Jesus's office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

[Jamastiene]

24. ROFLMAO

That's a great one. I've never heard that one.