Fundies Say the Darndest Things!

[Dukkha]

www.fstdt.com

Hilarious! They scan the Internet for the stupidest things they post. They have categories such as All Time Cutest Fundie Award, Best Speller, Most Edjumucated Creationist, Rape Victim Blamer of the Month.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

1. "No one goes to bed hungry that is trusting in God to provide for them."

What a fucking moron.

[NMMNG]

6. Yeah, right

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.

Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.

Give a man religion and he will die of starvation praying for fish.


(Adaptation of the age-old truism that captures the fundies quite nicely.)

[Starbucks Anarchist]

7. "Give a man religion and he will die of starvation praying for fish. "

:rofl:

[KatyMan]

11. Give a man a beer,

and he's drunk for a day....teach a man to brew, and he's drunk for life :D

OR,

give a man a fire and he's warm for a day...set a man on fire, and he's warm for life...

:D

[sakabatou]

2. Some of the stuff is scary

"Imagination is evil and wicked."

"i feel so proud of myself! i caused another violation to the jew! well basically i was walking and i saw the jew and his wife walking to their satan temple place. well she was holding a baby so i took the baby from her hands and i threw it on the floor and stamped on it as hard as i could. the scum satan woman was crying so much - serves her right! we will kill the jews!"

"No one can count to a billion, so how is it that we know the stars are billions of light years away?"

"Atheists are unfit to rule and to give them any power would be dangerous to society. Atheist-controlled nations are doomed to fail..."

"EVOLUTION IS NOT SCIENTIFIC. It is a theory! Notice the word THEORY... T-H-E-O-R-Y. Wiki it. It is an idea. One which breeds Atheism, is the tool of Satan and will bring about the destruction of man."

There's more, but holy shit... that's scary.

[KamaAina]

3. Scary AND has little or nothing to do with actual religion

"N----rs have done NOTHING but DESTROY what White men have built, all the way from Solomon's time, to Africa, to Detroit. The maximum contribution of n----rs to the African economy today is $50 per MONTH, and it's dubious if their n----r ancestors produced even half that much as slaves in America. At the height of slavery, there were only 400,000 n----r slaves, which is 400,000 x $25/month x 12 months/year = $120 million per year. Over a century, this is a mere $12 billion, TOTAL. American n----rs get more than that in one WEEK of social transfer payments from Whites to n----rs today.

When American n----rs go back to Africa--what do YOU think their average earnings will be? More than $50 per month? Half as much, or $25 per month? $10 per month? NOTHING?" :grr: :banghead:

Wow! Seven N-bombs in two measly paragraphs (P.S. I edited them. The slimeball did not.)! A new world record! :sarcasm:

Somehow I get the feeling Dave Chappelle could make something out of this...

[texas1928]

4. These people vote.

They do...

:scared:

[Whoa_Nelly]

5. At a local Fundie church here, when someone dies, or has a tragic event

such as when one child became a vegetable due to oxygen loss during an operation...

I know people who used to belong to Riverdale Assembly of God. http://www.rivdal.org/

These assholes will ALWAYS preach from the pulpit to the entire congregation: This is a wake-up call to the family. It means that they are not living right, are not living in Jesus, and God has given them a message.

A 17-year old boy from their church died yesterday morning in a head-on collision while driving to his job at a local dairy. You can bet your bottom Dollar For Jesus, these asswipes will preach this while the mourning family is sitting there.


Motherfuckers. :grrr:

[Common Sense Party]

8. Cretins who give Christians a bad name.

I'm pretty sure the "jew baby killer" commenter was from an attention-starved, pot-stirring troll. It's still sick.

[NMMNG]

9. I love these whackjobs

As CHRISTIANS, we need to FIGHT against these HEATHEN BUSINESSES that remain open on SUNDAY!
mrs. Paige, Yahoo! Answers <2006-Aug-01>

You mean like churches?







""Americans just aren't gullible enough to believe that they came from a fish," - John Morris, president of the Institute for Creation Research in San Diego"

John Morris, Associated Press <2006-Aug-01>

But apparently they're gullible enough to believe they were made from dirt.






"<'one question: starlight from stars billions of light-years way reaching us...explain.'>

No one can count to a billion, so how is it that we know the stars are billions of light years away?"

mthtchr05, Yahoo! Answers <2006-Aug-01>


Maybe you can't count to a billion but most people could if they had the time. :dunce:




"EVOLUTION IS NOT SCIENTIFIC. It is a theory! Notice the word THEORY... T-H-E-O-R-Y. Wiki it. It is an idea. One which breeds Atheism, is the tool of Satan and will bring about the destruction of man."

ArgoFett, Saber-Scorpion's Lair Forums <2006-Aug-02>



A. You obviously have no clue as to what "theory" actually means.
B. "Creation" isn't even a theory, it is a myth. Theory trumps myth every time.




"Sorry but God calls us humans so He and I disagree with you on the existence of homos sapiens which I have already explained on another thread. So I'm going to have to go with God over you again."

Carico, CARM <2006-Aug-03>



How did you type that message if you don't exist?




Another strange coincidence that happened to me is when I wrote the greatest idea down in my story. It came true. A Rabid dog kept coming up to me. I shot it with my twelve-gage in its chest and a day later it cam back and bit me. I shot the mother fucker again and buried it and got checked for raybees. I didn't have them. Nothing but a scare on my leg. When I buried it I put a cross on it to show it respect. He showed back up. I waited until he left and I went to the place I buried him and the cross was up side down. I haven't been there sice."

Blanco, Wikipedia <2006-Aug-03>


Dude, lay off the drugs and use "spell check".





I'm of the opinion that homosexuals should not be police officers any more than they should join the military.

Regarding the humorless of lesbians, perhaps it is because women are designed by God to be fulfilled through childbirth/child raising, so by choosing to be lesbians they deny themselves fulfillment in life. Hence, they become bitter and angry."

Biff, Free Conservatives <2006-Aug-05>



Lesbians humorless, bitter and angry? Probably only the ones who've had to deal with you Biff. :puke:




"Older, established men were meant to marry young, nubile women and make babies with them. When those men croak, they leave their worldly goods to their now-middle-aged wives who now, after baby-having and kid-raising, can reach orgasm and so pork the randy young males who haven't established themselves yet. When those women croak, those boys are now older, established men ready to marry young, nubile women and make babies with them.

Not many young women can attain orgasm during sex. They're not supposed to. Sex for a woman during the childbearing years is about having babies. Men, on the other hand, have no problem attaining orgasm early on. They need training in what's good and what's not, and they should get it from older women who now can enjoy sex and can show them the ropes. Then, when those men marry, they can show their nubile young wives the ropes."

DesertFox, Free Conservatives <2006-Aug-06>



I'll bet the nubile young women are just lining up around the block for you. :sarcasm:




"I cant believe the people not believing in God, and not accepting Jesus Christ as their Saviour. These people go against the truth of the bible, and probably believe the earth to be a sphere to, against the truth of the bible.

This makes me sad, im happy ot have found a forum that truly belief the truth of the Christian God, and the that the world (earth) to be flat, as stated in the bible. Hallelulja."

Snoopy, Christian-Forum.net <2006-Aug-06>



Wow. An actual member of the Flat Earth Society. :scared:




"

I was e-mailed this website by a friend. I began watching some of the old Little Rascal episodes. In "JOY SCOUTS" they begin the short by saying the Pledge Of Alegiance. You'll notice they cut out the words "UNDER GOD" from the pledge. I am sure this was not left out of the original movie. I will NOT be going back to this website again, or passing it on. When you try to please a few people by leaving out the word GOD then you can keep it! You should be ashamed of yourselves!"

Rans54, In2TV Forum <2006-Aug-14>



Typical narcissistic, misinformed fundie. Thinks the nation was built on his faith when it actually wasn't. :dunce:




I won't even address the hideously racist diatribes over there. :puke: :scared:

[mark414]

12. that little rascals episode probably aired

before 'under god' was even added to the pledge...do these morons think jesus wrote the pledge of allegiance and the star spangled banner?

christ (no pun intended) how fucking irrational and dogmatic can you get?

[NMMNG]

13. It did

The show aired in 1939, and "under God" wasn't added to the Pledge until 1954. It's just that the revisionist Fundies like to think that the US was created as a Christian theocracy and any hint that it wasn't is an attack on Christianity. :crazy:

[AlienGirl]

10. I just laughed till I almost peed

The constructal theory of global optimization under local constraints explains in a simple manner the shapes that arise in nature.

I will use my own words to explain my speculation.

droom = Main highway of evolution.
joon = Exit out of the main highway of evolution, for a involutionary direction.
aodeen= Droom and joons altoghether, shape and direction of life in time.
gooje = First form of life perfectly unique.
kool = Combination of goojes.
lasco = Population of same gooje.
greu = Massive gooje potential.

An Aodeen according to "constructal theory" will take a shape and form just like any other creative meaning of the nature: A lightning, a Delta's river, blood vessels, the perfect shape of an egg, the cracks of a land without water, a marathon, statistics etc.

Example: A Lightning will start from a certain point in the sky. One main ramification will follow its way further than all the other ramifications. Sometimes this ramification will strike on land.

The very same way Aodeen started from a certain point in time. Droom
followed its way up to humanity leaving behind Joons and creating new Joons.
Goojes took the direction of Droom and Joons. What we find in Droom today is at most all the Goojes when life was created . It's probable to find the same Gooje in different Joons of the past.

Example. The reason why the skin colour and the nose of 50 cent are more "alike" with a gorilla's than G.W.Bush's skin colour and nose compared with a gorilla is because

- kool X1 took The Droom , then exit the Joon to Gorilla
- kool X2 took The Droom , then exit the Joon to Gorilla2
- kool X3 took The Droom , then exit the Joon to Gorilla3
- kool X4 took The Droom , continued the Droom to 50 Cent
- No other kool X took the Droom to G.W. Bush

Humanity is massive carrier of Goje. Even though G.W Bush does not have Kool X , he has Kool Y found in the chimpanzee. 50 Cent doesn't have Kool Y but what makes Humanity so special to be in Droom is the Greu."

alex mtl, EvC Forum <2006-Aug-01>

OMFG. :rofl: :rofl:

Tucker

[sakabatou]

16. Apprently its called the "WTF Speculation"

[Stockholm]

14. Never hear of Poe´s law before

Great find Neo!

Kick

[KatyMan]

15. man, that jacobisrael site

is vile...I looked around on it and truly feel the need to bathe...and I oddly feel guilty for having even read this shit.