My son accepted literature from a Jehovah's Witness last month

[MissMillie]

now they keep coming back.

:banghead:

[elshiva]

1. Don't Answer the Door or start speaking in tongues or...

rip the material in front of their faces!

These techniques have worked for my brother and my best friend.

[Schema Thing]

2. As an ex Jehovah's Witness, I really hope you

or your son will try to make them think, if you're up to it.

I didn't escape from the clutches of that cult until I was 36. Looking back, I see so many areas of belief that, if someone would have challenged me, I mean REALLY challenged me, respectfully but logically, I might well have gotten out earlier.

It's funny, you can spend your whole life knocking on doors to talk to people about god, and end up never REALLY dialoging with anyone.

[hunter]

21. You are right.

As an righteously ex Jehovah's Witness my mom NEVER gets visited by them, she is on their blackest of blacklists. They will go out of their way to know where she lives and NOT visit her. Wanna see my childhood JW scars? As a child I witnessed JW bouncers dragging my mom out of their Kingdom Hall. Think of the Children!

My catharsis as a young man (I suppose) was getting a job in a blood bank. Unfortunately all our hemophilia patients were dying of AIDS at the time... God, what a twisted world this is.

I'm too nice to the Witnesses mostly, and we will chat, and they don't realize how deeply subversive I am until later. But my wife says I'm rude to waste their time like that. She simply tells them "We're Catholic, and were REALLY not interested" and then they go away for a long, long time.

[Schema Thing]

27. It's hard for a Catholic, or most any other religious person to

understand how dangerous the religion is and how truly brainwashed Jehovah's Witnesses are.

But they CAN be made to think... even if it is just a seed that germinates.

I'd love for every "householder" to ask JW's: "so what you're really saying, is that Jehovah is going to kill me if I don't come to blanket agreement with everything you and the Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses believe and promote?".

Because when you're a Jehovah's Witness, you don't realize how facile and ugly and even vicious that belief is, unless someone can somehow throw it in your face. Most people don't realize that that is the primary message of Jehovah's Witnesses (in spite of their knocking on doors for the past 100 years).

[hunter]

28. My mom got sucked in by her pacifism.

During the Viet Nam war she was looking for a strong religious foundation, but the brain dead heartless idiot local right wing Catholic Church was supporting the war wholeheartedly because we were fighting the evil Godless communism, praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. This made the Jehovah's Witnesses look good to my mom.

But my mom is a very outspoken and a very political creature. Once she was feeling at home among them, she started to make them very uncomfortable. I was in forth grade, sitting out the flag salutes, not celebrating Christmas, or birthdays, etc., but it was pretty clear to me that a train wreck was coming, if not between my mom and the Jehovah's Witnesses, then between my mom and my dad.

It was our very, very good fortune the train wreck happened between my mom and the Jehovah's Witnesses, and it was a glorious thing to see. God H'self was speaking through my mom, and boy, was she was PISSED.

A few weeks later our family was Quaker, and there really was peace on my earth, at least for a little while anyways.

[ThomCat]

3. I found that answering the door naked prevents them

from coming back. :7

It's your son's fault, so make him do it.

[CottonBear]

6. My very plump friend answered the door wrapped in a very small towel.

They never came back. ;)

[greguganus]

16. I may just join the JW's so I can see naked women door to door n/t

[Momgonepostal]

4. Just come out with it and tell them "no"

Don't play games, hide, lie, tell them you're busy, or whatever. Just tell them you are not interested and ask them not to come back.

[Goblinmonger]

7. I agee

I don't know why people have a problem with this. If they come to my door, I immediately (so they don't have to waste their time) tell them that I am not religous (I avoid atheist so they don't try to save me), that I am not interested in their literature, and that I would rather they not come back. Then I say, "Have a nice day, though." Never had a problem. Sometimes they give one more shot to give me literature and I tell them it will just go immediately into recycling so they should save it for someone that might actually want to read it.

Why is that so hard a concept? A little decency goes a long way.

And you all thought atheists were horrible and I would scream at them.

[Chan790]

10. We had some in college that simply refused to give-up.

The stupid guys came back like four times, we called the police on them, they slid literature under our front doors, we held a public bonfire of their materials, they still came back, my roommate answered the door with his skeet gun and offered to make them martyrs...and they came back. This went on for about a week.

They must have saved the USMC of the Witnesses for the Little Vatican section (the area around CUA) of Brookland, DC, I'll tell you. These guys were persistent.

[Goblinmonger]

13. That's over the top

Maybe the Wisconsin Witnesses are more passive. After two times telling the same people I don't want to talk to them, I would probably call the police, too.

[Whoa_Nelly]

5. When I have opened the door to these people, I usually ask...

"If I give you a quarter, will you go away forever and not come back? Because if you do come back, I WILL call Satan, and it won't be pretty."

They usually back away at the word "Satan". :rofl:

[cobalt1999]

8. I enjoy talking with religious nuts.

I tell them I'm an atheist and talk with and challenge the whole foundation of their belief system. Eventually, they learn to avoid my house. There must be some religious fanatic grapevine too, because now they all seem to pass my house without stopping...Mormons, JW, etc. My poor wife when she sees them in the neighborhood worries for the poor unsuspecting believers when they knock on our door.

[Chan790]

9. My mother got them good once.

The insane conservative catholic Republican that she is (and hater of all non-catholics), fixed their asses something good about 20 years ago. She had a phone tree of everybody in the neighborhood from neighborhood watch, and was the first house on the block, so she answered the door in a towel and said she was about to jump in the shower and asked if they'd come back in about 45 minutes. After they left, she started calling everybody else in the neighborhood to hatch her scheme.

She ran across the back yard and answered my aunt's door with my aunt and they pretended to be lesbians, my aunt ran down the block across backyards answering three other people's doors, the woman next door answered her own door and the one directly across the street. Et cetera. They got like 40 people in on this. They all politely took the literature and talked to them, then the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th times they opened a door pointed out that "you've already talked to me". After about an hour and a half of this, the JW's left confused, pissed-off and feeling like they had just wasted a perfectly good hour and a half and to this day, no JW has ever knocked on a door in my neighborhood.

[noonwitch]

11. I avoid answering the door when they come around

They usually come around on Saturday mornings.
If I'm outside, I'll talk to them for a few minutes, but I make it clear I have a church and am not looking for one.

They are not bad people, for the most part. I worked with a family of JWs once and was amazed at how much the congregation helped them, with money out of their own pockets. I might not agree with all their beleifs and policies, but they showed such love and kindness in this case, I have no reason to be rude to them.

[LynneSin]

12. Next time they come - invite them in for a Three-Way

That'll scare them away

[Goblinmonger]

14. Or will it? n/t

[RebelOne]

15. Next time they come back, see if they can answer

these questions.

http://ffrf.org/quiz/bquiz.php

[WilliamPitt]

17. He must be slain

and his head set upon the moat to your castle gate. None shall dare cross the waters after that.

...wait, sorry...time warped for a second there...

;)

[Bassic]

18. Next time you see them coming, play a Tool album really loud.

Work like a charm for me. They did come to my door and talked to me for a while, but they never came back after that.

[LSK]

19. next time hand them a copy of the Bill of Rights

[HEyHEY]

20. Tell them you liked what the guys from hell had to say better

[hunter]

24. Those rat bastards from hell never come to my door.

And local republican political hacks are a pretty piss poor substitute.

[arwalden]

22. I've Got An Engraved "No Christians" Sign At My Front Door...

... that really seems to be doing the trick. They don't knock anymore, but they still slip leaflets and Watchtowers inside the storm-door. (Fine... I'll be happy to throw that away for you... just stop ringing my doorbell.)

[NewWaveChick1981]

23. I think it was Steve Harvey that said the best way to get rid of

Jehovah's Witnesses is to answer the door "butt nekkid with a shotgun." :rofl: You might try that tactic....

[jobycom]

25. Good for them

Glad to see they are handing out literature rather than the brainwashing propaganda they were famous for in the past. See if they have "The Sun Also Rises."

[RebelOne]

26. How to remove your house from the Jehovah's Witness' visit list

Jehovah's Witnesses (Real)

Tips On How To Remove Your House From The Jehovah's Witness' Visit List

Author: Foog
Date: 1994/12/11
Agree? Disagree? : Have Your Say
Buy Books About This Topic At: Amazon UK Amazon US
Send This Article To A Friend: Email It Use Telepathy
How to remove your house from the Jehovah's Witness' visit list:

1. Answer the door naked and carrying weaponry. (Immediate results.)

2. Pretend to be the slowest talking person in the world and see how long
their spirit of Christian charity lasts.

3. Answer every one of their questions with "What do you mean by that?"
This might take a while, but you and your loved ones can have fun placing
bets on how long it takes for them to get flustered and leave.

4. Ask them to explain the story of Elisha and the Forty two children. You
may have to resort to another method to actually get rid of them, but
this will definitely make them sweat. (2 Kings, chapter 2, ummm...
somewhere near the end.)

5. Excuse yourself from your sitting room (or wherever) and DO NOT come
back.

6. Make a series of increasingly reprehensible fake phone calls (booky,
order for pornography, drug deal, obscene call, and if they are STILL
there, a tearfull confession to the police for the murder of the last
Witnesses who visited you.)

7. Pick an oft-repeated word in their lexicon (God, Jesus, heaven, it, the
etc.) and giggle whenever they utter it. If they ask you what's going
on, say "nothing, why?" in very even tones, and giggle again.
8. Same as #7, except say "beep" instead of giggling.

9. (Males only) Feign an intense interest in their spiel. Part way through,
begin putting on make-up, hosiery, a dress, the whole works. Make
encouraging noises (uh huh, I see...) throughout, and if they ask you
what you're doing, pull a #7. If they're still there when you are done,
ask them if they would please kindly leave as you have a hot date in ten
minutes.

10. Look smug and tell them that your God can beat up their God.

Have fun

http://www.galactic-guide.com/articles/8R10.html

[Deep13]

29. They or a similar group came to my door.

"Let me stop you right there. You're wasting your time. We're atheists."

He said "Oh" and seemed a bit confused as he turned towards his group and left. They have a right to practice their religion and there was no real reason for me to waste their time or mine.

[Deep13]

30. "I'd invite you in, but my crawlspace is already full."

Nah, better not.