Bush causes international diplomatic incident

[Orrex]

On a recent visit to the UK, Bush accepted an invitation to dine with the family of a certain wealthy dignitary who shall remain nameless. The dinner was exquisite, and Bush was granted the seat of honor at the head of the table. The dignitary was seated opposite, while his son and daughter sat at one side of the table. The wife of the dignitary was not present however.

"Please forgive my wife's absence," said the dignitary. "She felt ill and had to rest. Her physician says that she has acute angina."

"I understand," said Bush. "She's got nice boobs, too."

===================

nyuk nyuk nyuk

I gotta million of 'em!

:rofl:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

1. ...

:spray:

[smtpgirl]

2. When has *ush NEVER caused a diplomatic incident?

[Orrex]

3. Further exploits

Bush and Rumsfeld were visiting wealthy Texas rancher Emmett Aubrey, and the three went for an early morning horseback ride. Bush, afraid of horses, rode in the saddle behind Rumsfeld.

A chill wind blew from the plains, and every so often Emmett would reach back under his horse's tail, procure a smearing of manure, and wipe it all over his lips.

"Good golly," Rumsfeld exclaimed at last. "What are you doing?"

"My lips get chapped in this wind," Aubrey said nonchalantly.

"And does that help?" asked the Defense Secretary.

"Keeps me from licking them," said the rancher.

"That's funny," said the Prez. "For some reason it makes mine worse."

[Orrex]

4. Yet another incident

Bush and Rumsfeld are at a quiet bar and discussing policy over drinks. Bush, famously a teetotaler, is on his third Shirley Temple, while the Secretary has just ordered his fourth double scotch.

Suddenly an old drunk at the opposite end of the bar totters to his feet and shouts at the President. "You're mother's a dirty tramp!" he exclaims.

Rumsfeld is clearly offended, but Bush says nothing.

"If I had a nickel for every time I've screwed your mother," says the man. "I'd be rich!"

Still, Bush says nothing, but the man wasn't finished.

"She loves it rough," he went on, "and she loves it filthy. The rougher and filther, the better!"

Finally, the Secretary can take no more. "Golly, Mr. President, how can you let him talk about your mother that way?"

Bush nods and, reluctantly, addresses the man. "Go home, dad. You're drunk."
* * * *
Rumsfeld is taken aback. "Mr. President, that's not your father."

"Oh, no?" snaps the President. "Then how does he know all that stuff about Mom?"


===================

nyuk nyuk nyuk

I gotta million of 'em!

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

[Orrex]

5. Is this thing on?

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the President his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"Oh no!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and says, "Send my condolences to the King of Brazil immediately."

[Guava Jelly]

6. Thats funny!

:)