Not to straight men: If you're in a gay bar and are hit on,

[Deja Q]

don't get uncomfortable. When you're in a gay bar, most people are going to think you're gay.

:D

[billyskank]

1. Sage advice

:)

If you're in a gay bar and not gay, is that a breach of ettiquette?

[Deja Q]

5. Hardly. Those people think nothing of gays, except as a faddish oddity.

You know, like how the Australians were during the late-80s...

But I digress.

That's why The Gay 90s bar is now overrun with hets, and more frequently I'm seeing non-gays in gay bars.

(the talks in the bathroom are the best. No, nobody is chatting anyone up; it's two hetero guys whining about all the 'fags'...)

[tjwmason]

8. In some places

It can get very nasty, actually.

There are the "no women" ones, usually they're especially "no lesbians".

There are definitely "no straights" ones as well - which some take to mean that anybody who has an objection to getting groped by 20 men before actually reaching the bar should be kicked out. :eyes:

Thankfully though, there are moderately civilised places which attract a principally gay crowd - but have no problems with others being present. These are the only ones I'd dream of frequenting.

[thefool_wa]

12. It happens

When I lived in DC my wife and I were looking for a restaurant on 17th (about 4 blocks from the White House, Clinton Era) which is not only the best strip of bars, clubs, and restaurants in the whole district, but also the epicenter of the gay community (I was blown away when I first went there to eat, I thought Seattle was the alternative lifestyle capitol of the US, boy was I wrong)

Not all the bars/clubs are gay there, its about an even split and there is no telling difference on the building exteriors (at least not that I knew of). Well, I had to use the phone so we popped into the bar we were in front of and it turned out to be a gay bar.

I wasn't really hit on, but did draw a few looks as I crossed the bar to use the phone. However, I did not draw nearly as many looks as my wife. Everyone we passed was looking at her like she had an extra arm or something.

In this case, I might have been a little irked if I had been hit on, but only because I was the only guy in the bar who showed up with a girl and I would have taken it as confrontational and rude. Otherwise, gay bar or straight bar, if you get hit on and aren't interested it's no different if the person making the advance is of the same or opposite sex, just let them know you aren't interested.

It's always good to be polite. And, if you don't want to get hit on in a gay bar, don't go to the gay bar :)

[idgiehkt]

14. And, if you don't want to get hit on in a gay bar, don't go to the gay bar

True, but I can't tell you how many times I've been hit on by straight guys in a gay bar. I've had one grab my leg and start fondling himself..another one kept asking me to dance and when I said I'm gay he'd just say "why"? This is a girl thing, of course...but it seemed to me that in the mid to late 90's gay bars got completely overrun with the hipster straight kids who thought they were doing a cool thing by going to a gay bar. There's nothing wrong with that, as long as they aren't rude or insulting, which they frequently are. These were dance clubs, so maybe it's different at bars that arent' so dance oriented.

[thefool_wa]

15. I'm sure

From the guy end, the whole metro-sexual trend probably helped feed that. It's like it was trendy to at least appear to be gay for quite some time. They say it is fading, we shall see. I figure one should just be themselves and "fish where the fish are" - if you know what I mean.

The unfortunate side of your experience is that the guys who do things like that are probably at the bar specifically to try and hit on lesbians. Its a machismo thing that even as a straight man myself I don't understand. Why set yourself up for humiliating failure?

[idgiehkt]

18. because I guess they think if a girl gets drunk enough anything

is possible. And sometimes they are right, lol.

[thefool_wa]

19. Still...

Its pompous, self ingratiating and rude.

I don't go to gay bars to hit on lesbians, just to watch them kiss :)

(I am soooooo kidding)

[idgiehkt]

21. it's all good.

some like being watched. trust me.

[Guava Jelly]

2. I thought a gay bar was where happy people hang out

I mean who wants to go to a grim bar?

[billyskank]

3. I've been to a few grim bars

Haven't you? :rofl:

[Guava Jelly]

4. oh yeah

not fun at all

[billyskank]

7. Grim bars serve a purpose

They're where you go to drown your sorrows. :)

[Deja Q]

6. I agree. Grim bars are gross. That's why I prefer clean ones.

:7

[begin_within]

9. When in Rome,

[RagingInMiami]

10. Even worse is walking into a gay bar filled with hundreds of horny men

and not getting hit on at least once.

I'm not gay, but I'm not chopped liver either.

[Deja Q]

16. Well, I thought of saying that, but

I am trying to refrain from making pusillanimous, pointless pity posts! :rofl:

[qnr]

11. Some of us are just totally oblivious and wouldn't even recognize we were

being hit on, no matter who it was from.

[ForrestGump]

25. Hey, stop talking about me

behind my back... :grr:

[leeroysphitz]

13. You're right Hypno but still....

If I'm in a gay bar wearing red sequined short shorts and a tight mesh tank top it doesn't mean I'm looking to get hit on! Who do people think they are making assumptions like that?


:evilgrin: :hide:

[Deja Q]

17. Who said I was doing the hitting-on?

:rofl:

[nuxvomica]

20. What if you're in Breugger's Bagels

That's where I've gotten hit on in the past. Should I be uncomfortable? More importantly, should I have accepted the free bagels? :D

[Deja Q]

22. Only if you know what to do with the bagel.

:rofl:

[thefool_wa]

23. Hey if girls can accept

"no strings attached" gifts from guys who are obviously hitting on them, then the same should go for guys hitting on guys.

You just say, "Thanks, how sweet." and go on about your day.

:)

[sendero]

24. Seems.

.... reasonable. I wouldn't go to a gay bar anyway. I have no problem with gays, but that thump, thump, thump music isn't for me :)

[Nickster]

26. LoL. You made me remember the first time I got hit on in a gay bar.

I was so used to my regular "hetero" hang outs where the usual man to man greeting is "Hey" and a nod of the head. Well, I got my first "Heyyy" and I responded with a "Hey" and didn't realize that his "Hey" was much different than my "Hey". LoL. I couldn't understand why he was all of a sudden so interested in talking with me. Didn't he know what "hey" meant? :-)

[HEyHEY]

27. Had an interesting incident, did we?