What clergy would you pick to fight off vampires & zombies?

[Radical Activist]

I posted in the movie cliche thread that every vampire/zombie/horror movie always has a Catholic Priest fighting off the vampire/demon, as if no clergy member of any other religion is capable of doing so. If you were being chased down by a vampire/zombie/demon or other such un-dead goon, what clergy member would you seek help from?

[Broken_Hero]

1. Catholic Priest

Father Callahan from Salems Lot, and The Dark Tower Series...he was one bad holy dude...:)

[tjwmason]

2. Catholic or Orthodox Priest - not bothered which.

The reason for it being a Priest is that they do claim the authority to repel such demons - theologically there is no difference between a Catholic Priest and an Orthodox one.

Protestant Ministers and Imams don't make the same claim - they are merely people trained to lead prayers and provide instructions, whereas Priests are referred to as being alter Christus.

I don't know about the supernatural claims made for/by the other options on the list.

[Radical Activist]

8. ok, that's actually a pretty good argument.

Makes sense. Mormon Elders also at least claim the authority/ability to exorcise demons.

[Fox Mulder]

3. An agnostic with a large wooden stake.

:)

[Radical Activist]

6. kind of covering all your bases?

[MrCoffee]

4. There can be only one...Father Lankester Merrin

[TimeChaser]

5. Myself and a bunch of other Pagans

[Radical Activist]

7. oh yeah

I should have put pagans on there. Of course, you would have to dodge the fundie protestant ministers who think you are the evil demons. ;)

[Kickoutthejams23]

9. It's Sarah Michelle Gellar for me or nothing.

[Fox Mulder]

10. I'd prefer to have Eliza Dushku.

:)

[Radical Activist]

13. Me too. Good call.

[Cruzan]

11. For your basic run-of-the-mill ghost use a Buddhist monk

Ghost bustin's like a specialty of theirs, at least in Thailand.

[ghostsofgiants]

12. Agnostic with a big gun.

[Critters2]

14. UCC

It'd be fun to watch them (me) struggle intellectually with having to struggle physically with something they (we) don't believe in.

[Radical Activist]

16. I should have put Unitarians in the poll

for similar reasons.

[Critters2]

17. Yep, a UU would be fun, too nt

[flvegan]

15. An ordained Bruce Campbell

He's got one hell of a boomstick.

[Broken_Hero]

18. Good choice...

Good

Bad...

I'm the guy with the gun...:)

[flvegan]

19. Thank you for shopping at S Mart.

I so know what I'm watching on dvd tonight.

[Broken_Hero]

20. Ha, good movie...:)

Its a trick, get an axe...

God, I know so many lines from this movie...:)

[flvegan]

21. I got news for you pal...

You ain't leading but two things right now: Jack and Shit. And Jack just left town.

[Broken_Hero]

29. Sword BOY!!!!!!!!!!!....:) nt

[LeftyMom]

22. Protestants just aren't as imposing. It's the street clothes, I think.

I mean really, what's a Lutheran minister going to do- attack the vampire with Hot Dish? I guess that's thier special power, Repel Atkins Vampires. :P UUs would be explaining that sucking the blood of the innocent is a valid spiritual path as the light went out of thier eyes. I guess Anglicans could work in a pinch, provided vampires can die of boredom. I'd still take a priest, 'cause they'd have holy water and the host and they could yell stuff in Latin and look cool while defeating evil. Though I guess one of those kick-ass kung fu movie monks with the kewl martial arts powerz and cryptic sayings and stuff would do in a pinch.

[Radical Activist]

24. Yeah I want David Carradine

I bet he could handle zombies.

[jobycom]

25. AND, they have the most cinemagraphic garb for an action scene!

Those robes are cool! They flow like a spaghetti western trenchcoat, and aren't so ornate that you can't believe they can move in them (like, say, Greek Orthodox). You couldn't design a better costume!

[LeftyMom]

27. The vestments, crucifixes and what not would add interesting visual

elements.

Maybe nuns would be a better choice. Nuns are kinda scary.

[Critters2]

28. All the Lutheran clergy here wear collars just like priests

So do a lot of UCCs, which I find pompous and annoying. At my "clergy support group" :eyes: the head honcho said we should all "wear our collars" one week (I was never clear why). So I took the collar of the beagle, and wore that. A lovely green nylon lupine with ladybugs--quite stylish. The pompous--and I suspect, insecure guys weren't amused.

I could see them boring a vampire to death, too.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

23. A texan with a bowie knife.

Failing that, a Buddhist monk.

[graywarrior]

26. Catholic priest, as long as there's no altar boys involved.

KIDDING!!!!!! Just a joke. Don't flame me.

[JVS]

30. 3 Lutheran pastors: one from WELS, one from LCMS, one from ELCA

The vampires and zombies would get the fuck out of dodge before they get caught in the crossfires ;-)

[Radical Activist]

31. What if the vampire is baptist?

heh

[JVS]

32. Then that vampirical Wiedertauefer is going down!

[mad-mommy]

33. my nun teacher from 2nd grade, she's scare the devil

[xchrom]

34. catholic priest -- celibacy makes them very mean.

[Radical Activist]

45. true that

anyone would get mean with so little action

[ElboRuum]

35. Ordained Minister of the Church of the Subgenius n/t

[mad-mommy]

36. Tom Cruise ?

[LibertyLover]

37. Wiccan high priestess

with all her ceremonial jewelry on. If the silver and amber didn't keep them away, the shear weight that she could throw at them would do them it.

[deucemagnet]

38. Other - Voodoo Priest.

Especially for zombies or demons. Vampires aren't really their specialty.

[HEyHEY]

39. Scientology

Those fuckers are vicious.

[Radical Activist]

42. At the least

the vampire would end up broke, right?

[RetroLounge]

40. RevCheesehead

She'd kick their asses then bounce her... :bounce::bounce:

They wouldn't stand a chance....

:hi:

RL

[Katina]

41. an old school catholic nun

they don't take shit from anyone.

[sakabatou]

43. Buffy

[RedStateShame]

44. The pastor of my church: First Werewolves' Church of Christ

[datasuspect]

46. zombie outbreak

sorry, god can't help you.

the one thing you must remember if that happens, THE DEAD HATE THE LIVING. your best defense is offense.

weaponry is one thing, but you will need melee weapons too. i have a police baton. that stuns them long enough for you to break open the skull.

any given undead will be in varying degrees of putrefaction. their heads pop like ripe melons. it is better to avoid those entanglements though.

when the feeding frenzy is on, they come out of everywhere and nowhere.

i'd take a priest if he could handle a weapon and himself, otherwise he'd be a liability.