True or False: Going to a strip club is cheating

[KensPen]

well?

[DuctapeFatwa]

1. Only if you don't share your tips with the waiters

;0

[truthspeaker]

2. false

I can understand why some women would object to their partners doing it, but it isn't cheating. However, going even though you know your partner objects would show a huge lack of regard for your partner.

[toddzilla]

4. i wouldn't call it "cheating"

I would call it contributing to exploitation and objectification. I like a well-built woman just like any hetero male, but knowing that the vast majority of these women are abuse survivors or have many other issues and are just coping with it the only way they know how bothers me quite a bit.

[barbaraann]

I agree.

However, this position is about as popular on DU as being a Bush Pioneer would be.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

11. Many aren't abuse survivors and know they are being objectified

It is simply a great way to pay the bills and care for your children by being able to spend time with them.

As a DJ, I have met many strippers. Many are actually pretty great strong women who are not terribly into the gig but have kids and can make several hundred dollars a day, work only 4-6 hours a night, and be able to pay attention to their kids the rest of the time.

Probably the most unfortunate aspect is that if there is a custody dispute, the male uses the profession against the woman to attempt to prove her unfit...seen this occur several times.

[toddzilla]

17. I'd say it's probably split..

I'm not disagreeing with you, but i do think it depends on the area where you live and how many clubs there are in the area. If the woman understands what she's doing and is OK with it, i guess i don't have a problem with it, but it doesn't seem very empowering or like it would do much for your sense of self-worth. It's a tricky subject, people should be allowed to do whatever they want with their bodies, at the same time do you think it's ok to propagate stereotypes and objectification?

catch-22.

personally i just think it feels wrong.

[lazarus]

42. I agree

In places where people think stripping is something dirty and unacceptable and objectifies women, the women who become strippers tend to be messed up.

Self-fulfilling prophecy, really. If you make it sleazy, and try to hide it and ignore it, don't be surprised if sleazy elements take over and make it even sleazier.

[barbaraann]

23. The BFEE treats people like disposable objects.

We should be better than that.

[grok]

12. It depends...

On the strip club AND your SO.

Contrary to popular belief, You CAN have total raunchy sex with the lady of of your choice at certain clubs . Particularly those that have private booths/rooms. For a fee of course. All perfectly ILLEGAL.

Before I get asked "How would YOU know?", lets me just state I am single, have a couple bucks, and have nobody to be faithful to at the moment. :D

Grok

[Robb]

3. Only if

...your wife works at a different strip club. :)

[drewb]

5. I've always wanted to say this...

ROFLMAO...

:toast:

[SOteric]

6. Not in my universe.

:eyes:

[BritishHuman]

39. You see why I love you?

For entirely unconnected reasons, that's why. :evilgrin:

[THUNDER HANDS]

7. only if you said you were going bowling

:D

[matcom]

8. only if you bring her back a "souvenier"

:D

[Lisa0825]

9. Not physically, but emotionally? possibly

When I was married, I didn't mind if my ex went to the occasional bachelor party or divorce party at a strip club. But when we were having problems, both physically and financially, and I found a receipt for almost $300 at a strip bar, you BET I felt like I'd been cheated on! For one thing, I worked two jobs to pay our bills, not pay for some chick's pasties. But also, I'd had no physical or emotional attention from my then-husband, and I completely resented the fact that he wanted to look at other women, just not me. Yes, I would say that was a type of cheating, at least in the way it made me feel.

and he didn't even invite me!!!!

[Nlighten1]

10. False!

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

13. It's cheating if you lie about it.

An oath of faithfulness includes not having a naked woman sit on your lap for twenty bucks and give you a dry hump through your pants.

[matcom]

15. then why do you keep calling my wife?

:D

:spank: matcom :spank:

*just kidding* of course

:bounce:

*matcom - reaching for his camera*

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

21. Hey ! I never lie about it!

Besides, from what I hear, she's always all worked up after we talk and you get all the bene's :evilgrin:

[Code_Name_D]

53. Shoe on the other foot test.

How would you feel if she runs of to the Chip and Dales?

[grok]

14. It depends.....

On the strip club AND your SO.

Contrary to popular belief, You CAN have total raunchy sex with the lady of of your choice at certain clubs . Particularly those that have private booths/rooms. For a fee of course. For under a couple bills. All perfectly ILLEGAL.

Before I get asked "How would YOU know?", lets me just state I am single, have a couple bucks, and have nobody to be faithful to at the moment.

Grok

[letthewindblow]

16. Ask your wife

she should know better than we.

[KensPen]

18. What if it's really good and you finish....

is it cheating then?

[commander bunnypants]

19. Never understood strip clubs

just an exspensive tease.

But I dont think it would be cheating


DDQM

[TheBlob]

32. I never understood the appeal either.

I love the female physique and I love sex, but I always found it kinda creepy to be sitting amongst a bunch of horny men giving their paychecks away hoping to score with a miserable woman who has nothing but contempt for them, only to leave the club at the end of the night broke, alone, and sexually frustrated.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

40. Boy...

Did you just nail the truth of strip clubs.

[hunter]

20. True or False: Going to the DU Lounge is cheating...

:o

[VOX]

26. Only if you're at work!

:toast:

[Gringo]

22. False - lap dancing straddles (pun!) the line.

Hiring a 'ho is definitely cheating.

[tom_paine]

24. False.

For both men and women.

[Kamika]

25. I'd get a divorce

Why should he have to go to a strip club when he would have me?

[Blue-Jay]

28. I dunno....variety?

It doesn't matter how you get your appetite as long as you get your meal at home.

[Kamika]

46. I just don't like it

He can get his appetite at home too !


Anyway I'm just the "extremely jelous" type..

[Gringo]

29. Seeing strippers is a whole different thing than one's wife.

I wouldn't flip if my wife went to chippendales. Okay, so I'd be a bit annoyed, but I wouldn't consider it cheating. I don't go in for strippers, but considering how many men are adulterous, I'd thank my lucky stars if that was the worst my hubby ever did (If I was a girl)

[truthspeaker]

36. words of wisdom from Hyde on That 70s Show:

(to Donna) "If Forman were dating Miss April from that magazine, he'd be locked in the bathroom looking at nude pictures of you."

[lazarus]

43. Do you ever go window shopping?

Ever check out catalogs filled with items you know you'll never buy, and really have no interest in, but like to look at the stuff anyway?

Browse through Sharper Image looking at all the toys you don't ever intend to buy?

Any time you do that, aren't you telling him he can't provide properly for you? Why should you want a better life if you've got him?

:P

[Kamika]

45. lol

that analogy royally sucked :)

[CalebHayes]

27. Go with your wife!

[FlaGranny]

51. I'm with you - go with your wife.

When I married my husband I knew he liked strip clubs. He never overdid it, and only went occasionally. After I met him, we went together. Neither one of us ever went out in the "evening" without the other. I believe that going together strengthened our relationship.

[Nikia]

30. No

Watching the dancers perform is definitely not cheating. Getting lap dances is borderline. If he goes often and gets lap dances often from his preferred dancer and tips her well, that is very close to cheating and needs to stop.

[TXlib]

31. One of my students worked as a stripper.

I was a grad student, and one of my former male students from 2 years previous saw me at the student union. He told me that the girl in his lab - taught by me - was now dancing at the local strip club.

I thought he was full of it.

I actually bumped into her a week later, and told her what I'd heard, and from whom.

She laughed and said she must've gven him a good lap dance.

After I picked my jaw up off the floor, she explained that she'd been working Friday and Saturday nights there, and typically earned $1000 a weekend. She said she was the only healthy-looking young girl there; the other dancers were either young, and anorexic-looking, or older and gravitationally challenged. The drunken farmers flocked to her, and tipped extremely generously.

She earned my monthly stipend in two days there!

[heypunk]

33. Nah

I dont think so

[beyurslf]

34. Depends on your relationship.

Does your partner know you go? Do you have to lie to go there? That's the answer I think.

[TrogL]

35. Thinking about going to a strip club is cheating

[populistmom]

37. No

[dawn]

38. False.

Although my husband never goes, so that's probably why I'm so laid-back about it. Looking is fine.

I don't really see the point of strip clubs, but oh well.

[Kolesar]

41. DU opinions from a few months ago:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=191402

[Kathy in Cambridge]

44. No

Everyone likes to look. If it becomes a habit where the guy is there every night, then it's a problem. I have no issue with my husband visiting a strip club every so often. I have no desire to go myself, having gone when I was younger.

[JVS]

47. FALSE!

[wantnobush]

48. false

[BiggJawn]

49. Don't know. Strip clubs are NASTY places, though.

Had some friends who took me out a few timesafter my first divorce to "get my mind off her"...
Dismal, filthy little holes in the walls and scrawny, skanky women who looked like they needed a bath....
Yech!

I seem to recall that they were higher-classed places 25 years ago....

[LanternWaste]

50. I think it depends on intent

Depends completely on intent I think.

If a married guy goes to a strip club for the express and conscious purpose of filling himself with lust, then by all means I believe it's cheating (but then I also believe that cheating is not only a physical act, but also one of the heart and of the mind).

However, if a married guy goes because it's where the client wanted to have the business meeting (as had happened to me once or twice), then it's acceptable. Yet, although I tolerated it, I certainly didn't condone it...


As an aside, speaking as a straight and single guy, I simply cannot fathom the draw these places have. Objectifying the dancers themselves aside, it makes *me* feel classless, base and common.

And the drinks were *so* damn expensive....

[Corgigal]

52. Not sure about cheating in a marriage

but Im sure it's cheating when it comes to the piggy bank. If my man can go and have fun at a resonable price so be it however this can be an expensive hobby. If my ass has to be out there working along with the idiots and he wants to drop 50 to 100 bucks a night to look at body parts he is never going to touch without out forking over much more then yeah its cheating me in the checkbook. Like I tell my 16 year old son who screwed up the computer when he had to download some porn. You're never going to get near the real thing until you get a job, learn to save and damn it take a shower.
Yeah I know its normal but cheap ain't real.

Sorry if youre a family then all the resources belong to the family.
If you going out for fun and it won't break the bank so be it.

[Thor_MN]

54. Depends on what the person who DIDN'T go thinks of it.

The person going to the strip club is the "offending" party, if any offense is possible. The person who didn't go gets to decide if it is cheating. I suppose that it is possible to think that you are cheating, if you don't know what your spouse/SO/whatever thinks of it, but the "offended" party gets to decide if it is cheating.

[Fleshdancer]

55. I guess it depends on the couple

I pesonally don't think it's cheating, but I do think it's stupid. Wasting good money on recieving nothing more than a look and a tease doesn't seem very smart.